Help!! I'm completely lost :(

Re: Help!! I'm completely lost :(

• calindi member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_im-completely-lost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:0ff905b2-f824-403c-97b7-84c940a2de24Post:7c965081-cf3d-4306-acb5-b42e7dffe789">Help!! I'm completely lost :(</a>:
  [QUOTE]So I'm extremely new to this whole wedding planning thing and I don't have as much time as I would like. Another problem is we are having the wedding in Idaho but I just moved from there to another state & my FI is stationed even farther away. So neither one of us can be there to do alot of the planning. I have decided to be a DIY bride because of the circumstances but I'm already stressed out and we have only been engaged a month. The only things i have planned out is.. the colors, date, & the venue or at least i hope its the venue we choose. I have a very limited budget since my parents aren't acting so supportive right now. Both our parents want us to wait at least a year or two but we realized we hate living in different states and never getting to see or talk to each other. We are on our own for pretty much the whole wedding and i could really use some cheap ideas. We are trying to incorrpate the military into our wedding a little. So far... Colors: Marine blue, canary, pistachio & maybe champagne I know the colors sound odd but we got the idea of davdisbridal.com. We tried to get the blue to match his dress blues and then the rest of the colors just kinda went.  Date: April 14th  Venue: Waterfront, in Idaho To save some money i have considered renting my dress and making my own cake. I do have some family that can do the cattering and then i could have another family memeber do the flowers but i have kind of considered doing that myself too. I am perfectionist so i'm neverous to do it myself since i know i will get stressed if it's not perfect. Any ideas or suggestions would be great! Thanks :)
  Posted by MorgannV10[/QUOTE]
  
  
  Hi!!!  Welcome!
  
  Be sure to check out "Budget Weddings" and "DIY" boards for some awesome money saving tips.
  
  That said, DIY isn't always cheaper, especially when you factor in all the stress and aggrevation.  The key is to pick a few projects where you can save the most money or maximize your personal touch, if that's what you're going for, rather than trying to DIY everything and end up unhappy with everything since you had to rush to get it done.
  
  That actually sounds really pretty with the pistachio and navy - I'm trying to picture the canary, but maybe just as pops of color here and there?  But if you've seen an inspiration board that works, then great! 
  
  For inexpensive ways to get dresses, check out bridesmaids dresses instead of wedding dresses - many come in white, ivory, and champagne!  You can pay $180-250 and get a truly fabulous dress.  Especially if you don't want a super long train to your dress.
  
  Some examples:
  
  <a href="http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/478">http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/478</a>
  
  <a href="http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/288">http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/288</a>
  
  <a href="http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/291">http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/291</a>
  
  <a href="http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/328">http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/bridesmaids/328</a>
  
  Just for some ideas!  Those all come in white, ivory, and champagne.  And you can try them on at bridal stores that offer that brand.  Same experience, a franction of the price. 

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• calindi member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  And unless your family members are actually caterers, I wouldn't recommend doing it that way for 3 main reasons:
  
  1.  They won't get to enjoy your wedding as they'll be working
  2.  You will probably end up spending more to get table cloths, napkins, silverware, plates, glassware, etc. which are all included in most caterer's prices
  3.  It's incredibly difficult to ensure you have enough food, that the food is served at the right time, and that nobody ends up with food poisoning.  Someone could sue if they get food poisoning and it's much better to have a caterer handle this.
  
  That said, a lot of caterers (especially new ones) offer very reasonable packages when you factor in that they're providing service, the rentals I mentioned before, all the food, and clean up (because do you really want to clean up after your own wedding?!).  You can likely find very nice menus with chicken or vegetarian for around $35/person.  Ask your local board (to where you're getting married) for advice on which caterers to contact for quotes!
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• MorgannV10 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks that was helpful!
  
  My family does have a catering bussiness and does a lot of weddings and doing it through them i don't have to pay, it would be their gift to us. Plus one of them in the business also works for a event rental company on the side and can get all the liens and stuff like that for cheap or free. 
  
  When it comes to DIY stuff its easier since i can't be there to do anything till the month of the wedding and i just basic stuff for invitations and such. I found some cute ideas that don't seems too time consuming. Thank your for the dress ideas!

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• crownsuperstar member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I second what Cali said.  If you family would be willing to do the food why not ask them to do the cake instead?  I had a wonderful friend of the family do ours and it was her gift to us.  She was able to get the cake set up and enjoy the wedding. 
  
  I assume the venue does not have their own food services staff.  If they do they often times will not let you bring in outside people except for the cake.  If they do allow you to bring in food there often time is a higher rental rate.  I would suggest if you want to save money go with something other than dinner.  Maybe a brunch or lunch event.  I have been to both and they were really nice. 
  
  I love the dresses that Cali posted as well.  I think the 4th one you could even get a shash to tie in the wedding colors.  Just a thought.  There are many ways to save money but trust me you do not want to worry about dealing with your cake and food the day of your wedding.
  
  Good luck!

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• MissR444

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  @calindi, that's genious, ordering a bridesmaid dress in white.  I wish I had thought of that!

  

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• prettyirishgirl member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm going to second a lot of what calindi said but with some little additions or what not
  
  first off yay to the catering family!!! plus
  
  The bridesmade dress idea is genious few people know about this and it is perfect i've used it for Mardi Gras balls before and it is really popular in Louisiana for that reason. If you can find an odd holiday or event type thing sometimes youc an also get killer deals (after all the mardi gras balls a lot of stores usually have a big sale to get rid of some stock because thats abotu 6 months before june so it also gets them a lot of wedding buzz - you may have some similar thign like deb balls or fundraisers that coudl cause the same reaction in your area or somewhere within a driving distance etc.
  
  I'd do DIY in a heart bead and plan on it, but like Calindi said it is important to prioratize. for instance I'm doing my invites because the ones I want for all paper for the wedding coudl be upwards of 6000 bucks - I'm not paying that. I'm getting a 200 letter press buying paper and ink a few plates all less then 40 buck and I can make everything and anything I want for a much better price. Its ok because I've dont that stuff before so it wont stress me out, but everyone I've told freaks out and thinks I will go crazy doing my invites, save the dates, day of time table etc.
  
  Some projects that were rediculously easy: ring bearer pillows or the like (those thigns are expensive and you coudl do it yourself for liek 5 bucks instead of the 30-50 they charge you, really? flower girl basket or the like ditto.
  
  The one thing I would never DIY. Photos!!! I am splurging on a friend who has been photographing me and my family for 10 + years. he is giving me a discount, but i'd pay his full price if I had to. I know a bunch of photographers all very good, but I don't ever want to blame a friend or family member if something goes wrong with my  photos. He will bring like 4 cameras (including back ups) a billion batteries, I like his style, he could hold his own with my annoying at times FI. Where as someone else as a friend or family member will only have 1 maybe 2 cameras if something goes wrong and i dont have pictures i'd kill. It is my only real care for the whole wedding - no lie the building could fall down. I could trip my dress could rip but if i don't have pictures i'd kill.
  
  on that same note i love home video and i don't like staged edited home videos, so FI and I have strongly considered getting a few small video cameras (they are getting cheaper - mine was 150 on sale and its a waterproof HD pocket with very good range) and giving them to people we know will use them at the wedding and enjoy them after. His brother, one of my aunts, my cousin and his FI, one of my best friends from college. We just figured that at 150 each we could get 3-5 and a few SD cards for much less then a videographer and then it would be a gift to those close to us that helped in some way in the wedding, but weren't wedding party, and a way for us to get video from our wedding. We figured we would get those people gifts anyway because of the help they have offered us and it seemed the perfect solution that everyone would enjoy. When we suggested this to a fried we have also had someone come forward and say they would edit it all together for us if we would like which I am capable of doing, but might let them do it just for fun for the both of us.
  
  I guess with this rant what i'm trying to say is think out of the box. Prioritize what is important to you and what can go wrong. Weigh the pros and cons and don't be afraid to do things that people say are big no nos. You know what you are capable of, what your skills are and who you can trust. Don't deceive yourself into thinking people can help that can't really do the job, but at the same time if you know you or a friend can do it go for it. it will make your wedding all the more you, because you will shine through in the details it is just important to be realistic and accept imperfection in some places . I am a perfectionist and because of that we are choosing a venue that doesn't need decorating - that way no one can mess it up by the flowers not showing. They would help, but if i don't have centerpieces that are flowers I will go a block over to the gift shop get something cute and small that relates to our venue and pop my discount down for $100 emergency and be done, because my OCD self has an odd backup plan. Cater your wedding to your strengths if you DIY and use it as a chance to explore if you can brace yourself to not get upset when something goes wrong because something always will so if you cant stand the thought of the cake coming out not perfect pay for the cake. I think yall get where I'm going.
  

  
  My "Wedding" Blog

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• firsttimersluck member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  To add onto PPs, check out those outlets and warehouses for gowns. They can easily be cheaper than renting a gown. I got mine from one and saved over 50%. I saw a TON of gowns that were 99 bucks. Just a suggestion Don't be scared of gown prices just because of the tv shows
  
  DIY CAN be cheaper but is not ALWAYS cheaper. Keep that in mind. I made cake stands for 3 dollars each and used them as our dessert buffet
  
  
  
  But I also wasted money on pomanders that I ended up not using.
  Centerpieces can be suuper cheap! All the details will come together and we are more than happy to help.
  The first step is to get those vendors checked off.
  Look at Craigslist for cheap photographers (there are LOTS of ladies on TK that have had a ton of success with this and some photogs were as cheap as 200 bucks for the wedding day!)
  Also look around for a cake baker.. Spend the TIME researching. We found our cake baker by a little fluke whle I was researhcing them and our cake fed about 100 people for less than 200 bucks. It was beautiful.
  
  GO TO THE BRIDAL SHOWS!! There was a caterer we almost chose while we were at one.. They were 15 bucks a person and had all their food there for us to taste.. amazing. mmm... AND they had coupons for 100-300 bucks off their catering. You can find a lot of people like that at those while also getting a ton of ideas for your own wedding. The big one here in Seattle also has a  warehouse wedding gown sale going in the same place so a ton of ladies bought their dresses right there.
  
  GL and welcome to the boards!
  
  

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• matcha

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Make yourself a timeline to keep yourself from getting tooooo stressed. 
  
  I started with a rough guess at a guest list.  This allowed me to figure out the cost of rentals, centerpieces, food, etc.  (Remember, the easiest way to keep your costs low is by having a small guest list.)
  
  Now I'm working on finding my vendors tha fit my budget.  Figure out what you have to hire out and what your budget is for each section.  Then you can fit the details within the bigger picture

  Two Drifters Off To See The World...

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• mrslawton

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I know exactly how you feel! Having the same issue trying to match army greens with my guy's Class As and I almost feel like we have too much time because he's going on deployment for a year and there is no way we're having the wedding of my dreams in less than a month before he has to ship out.  I have tons of family and friends that can help with arrangements but since we cant be guaranteed the date I want, its very hard to pinpoint location and what not.  We both have very large families and I want everyone to be there! Its very stressful and I am paying for most of it (regardless of what my parents contribute) so I am very nervous. I love planning parties and events but I usually have a more specified deadline to work with. I am gonna read some more of the other responses on your post to see if what any of them have to say will help me too!

  

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