Advice needed- sensitive subject of guests/kids

Re: Advice needed- sensitive subject of guests/kids

• [Deleted User] member

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

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• AileeneG member

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  You could write on the response card   "We have reserved 1 seat in your honor." or 2 seats, or however many that person gets. and then below it, put the check yes or no boxes.
  I think that's a tactful way to write on the RSVP card that you have a limited amount of space and that people can't start adding others. I would not mention that on the website or invitations or anything though. People will still call and ask you if they can bring someone, I'm sure, but mst people will get the idea.

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• ajuchkon

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  That's a really good idea but I think we can only just do one RSVP card for everyone. I guess I could do "we have reserved ____ seats in your honor" and then fill them in?
  
  Also, I figured people would get the idea that no children were allowed because we have "chicken/fish" and no children's option....

  

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• mlharbis

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  I am not having kids at our wedding for the same reason as you and most people aren't getting a plus one. On our rsvp's we put the number of seats that have been reserved for them. So far it has worked out well. I didn't put anything like adult reception to follow on the reception card, but i have seen that done somewhere.

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• ajuchkon

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_advice-needed-sensitive-subject-of-guestskids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:66Discussion:6880f7b7-8079-4413-ae1b-b2e62a48605ePost:de1e65d7-604f-4620-b647-3f8e70f8ef87">Re: Advice needed- sensitive subject of guests/kids</a>:
   [QUOTE] On our rsvp's we put the number of seats that have been reserved for them. So far it has worked out well. I didn't put anything like adult reception to follow on the reception card, but i have seen that done somewhere.
  Posted by mlharbis[/QUOTE]
  
  so did you have a different RSVP card printed for each guest/party or did you hand write in the number of seats reserved?

  

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• briehannah

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_advice-needed-sensitive-subject-of-guestskids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:66Discussion:6880f7b7-8079-4413-ae1b-b2e62a48605ePost:2d7079e3-0158-4618-aae7-9e1410904ef1">Re: Advice needed- sensitive subject of guests/kids</a>:
  [QUOTE]You could write on the response card   "We have reserved 1 seat in your honor." or 2 seats, or however many that person gets. and then below it, put the check yes or no boxes. I think that's a tactful way to write on the RSVP card that you have a limited amount of space and that people can't start adding others. I would not mention that on the website or invitations or anything though. People will still call and ask you if they can bring someone, I'm sure, but mst people will get the idea.
  Posted by AileeneG[/QUOTE]
  
  This is exactly what we are doing. Our invite says "We have reserved ___ seats in your honor"  and hadwriting the amount of people we are inviting per invitation/household.
  We also have the entree options with instructions to initial beside htem so that we have properly indicated who is eating what.  ot to mention the general invitation itself only naming those invited. Hopefully, wiht all 3 of these things coming into play, we can avoid the "surprise guest" factor on the day of.
  
  As far as the kids are concerned, we have indicated on our website (in multiple places) that babysitting services can be arranged through the hotel concierge (in the hotels we blocked off), plus, I am really counting on my family to "spread the word" to those that might be thinking of bringing children.
  As long as you have the support of all the family members, I think you should be ok!! Good luck!

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• Pretty Parula

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_advice-needed-sensitive-subject-of-guestskids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:66Discussion:6880f7b7-8079-4413-ae1b-b2e62a48605ePost:e837e5a2-2258-417d-b51e-959e2576fba6">Re: Advice needed- sensitive subject of guests/kids</a>:
  [QUOTE]Also, I figured people would get the idea that no children were allowed because we have "chicken/fish" and no children's option....
  Posted by ajuchkon[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Don't count on that. Chicken and fish are "children's options" in our house, as my daughter has eaten what the grownups eat from the time she started eating solid foods. Folks don't give kids enough credit for what they will/won't eat.</div><div>
  <div>That said, while I'm a pro-kids-at-weddings person, that's your bag and you have the right to say so. If you're keeping the wedding small in general, that makes it easier to say 'sorry, we're limited by finances' and suggest childcare options if that's a possibility, as Brie said.</div></div>

  
  Fabulosity in the Works / Rockin' the Rock / For Sale

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• jmucheech21 member

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  Agree with the "we have reserved ___ seat(s)" thing.  Love it.

  
  

  And I have to agree with Alyssa, people probably won't just assume no kids because of the lack of general kid options.  I think a lot of people think kids should be eating with adults eat especially now-a-days for nutrition reasons.  I know I am in this camp and a lot of my friends are as well.  No pizza and chicken fingers for every meal in my house!  

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• Floridabride2010

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  it is your day! Do what will make you happy.  As my grammy says, "they will get over it and get happy again"

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• Pretty Parula

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  As an addendum, you could have the response cards printed with a blank for the number of seats, the way jmucheech has it typed up, and then just write in the appropriate number by hand.

  
  

  And I COMPLETELY agree with Floridabride's grammy - sounds like one smart lady!

  
  Fabulosity in the Works / Rockin' the Rock / For Sale

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• rosepourpre member

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  So, I just opened my mailbox. Found an RSVP where the couple crossed off the "2" seats and put "3" above it! Grrr! Be prepared; people are nuts.

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• mlharbis

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  haha thats crazy!!!!
  
  My RSVPs say:
  ___ Seats have been reserved
  ___ Accept
  ___ Decline
  
  We filled in the number of seats. So far so good!
  

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• jmucheech21 member

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  Wow.  Seriously, I was living with my fiance and one of my friends didn't invite him.  I was kind of annoyed, but I would never have crossed out the 1 and put 2!!!!  And this was NOT when I was engaged, so I wasn't all knot-knowy.  (You know, we are all enthralled in weddings, so we have to give people the benefit of the doubt that don't know all the ettiquettey things we've figured out).  This is not a benefit of the doubt type thing.  I think its way annoying.

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• therockisblinding05

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  rose, wow people are soo rude! Can't believe someone did that!

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• shellmybab

  

  June 2010 edited December 2011

  I have recently done quite a few weddings and NONE of them wanted kids there (when we renewed our vows we only wanted ours there) but one couple still brought their children, even though the envelope specifically was addressed to the couple only. I've learned  lately alot of people don't abide by regular etiquette anymore. They RSVP and don't show up and vice versa and I had one mom specifically ask why her kids couldn't come. The gall of some of the people amaze me...so what I'm trying to say is people are going to make ask anyway or think they're the exception to the rule..I like the we have reserved _ seats for you..and if they add more, call them and tell them your sorry but you were only reserved a certain amount and while you'd love for them to be there, you understand if they can't. I personally and a few of my brides have had to use that line quite frequently lately (like the past 4 years people have just forgotten manners!) Hope this helps!

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