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Suggestions or opinoins needed...

CaseyS88CaseyS88
First Comment
in Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
So, FI and I are debating changing our 100 person wedding to an elopment or just an immediate family ceremony (parents, brothers and sisters.) He and I are paying for the majority of our wedding and my parents are paying for the rest, but it's kind of coming up that my parents would be in a burden to pay for it. So, we are trying to think of ideas to not be a burden on anyone. I'm open for suggestions, pros and cons! :)
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Re: Suggestions or opinoins needed...

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    mpayettempayette
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I can definitely commiserate with you! My FI and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves and while ours is still a ways away, we're already freaking out. Think about how important it would be for your family to see you have an actual ceremony and walk down in a beautiful dress and the memories made. It can be JUST family but make sure any friends who are considered family are there. What we did was make a list of the most important things to us to the least important and organized our budget so it reflected it. That way, if in the end, you can't afford to do something, it'll be something you really don't care too much about! I say don't elope but possibly shrink the size of your wedding down. Good luck!
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    kristan1022kristan1022
    First Comment
    You could always keep the current guest list for the ceremony and then do a simple cake and punch reception after- this is what my parents kept trying to push me to do because they eloped and don't see the point in having a traditional wedding :)
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    professorscienceprofessorscience member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with PP that it's really about what's important to you.  To me, the ceremony is the most important part of the day.  Like Kristan said, you could always have a cake and punch reception with the guest list you have.  Is it possible for you to get married on a Friday or a Sunday?  Those days are typically a little less expensive, and, especially if you have a morning or afternoon wedding, it would be less expected of you to have a huge huge reception.

    FWIW, H and I paid for the majority of our wedding, with some help from both our families.  We focused on what was important -- ceremony, food, music -- and cut back on what wasn't -- linens, flowers, favors.  Even with what I thought was a pretty minimal reception, guests are still raving about how fun it was.
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    CaseyS88CaseyS88
    First Comment
    Thank you ladies!!!! Our guest list right now is solely family (parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins) and 4 friends a piece. Very small, FI just has a LARGE family. Our wedding budget is small, and the wedding would be perfect with the amount we are spending, I am just so nervous about my parents being in a bind. :/ It's just a lot to think about!

    The thought of an immediate family wedding is sounding really good. lol
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    angelsong21angelsong21 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    When we started planning last year, we had plenty of money to cover everything with a little thrown in from my parents and some thrown in from FILs.  Now, my parents don't have the money, relationship with FILs is up in the air so I have no clue if they will still pay what they originally offered, and our savings accounts were just wiped out to get treatment for FI.  So yay, we are completely broke, with $8,000 worth of bills left to be paid.  I wholeheartedly wish we had eloped.  It's far too late to reduce our wedding size/plans now as all of our vendors are owed full payment.  So, I'd say if you can cut it down at this point to be able to easily manage the costs on your own, that's what I do. 
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    Jen6862Jen6862 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I agree with the others. What's important to you and your fiance?

    If you really want to be surrounded by loved ones on your special day is there anyway you can drastically cut what your parents where going to contribute? And maybe have a talk with them about what they can contribute? That would make it less of a burden and take a lot of pressure off you and your fiance. If you know what you are working with, it will be easier to stay within budget!

    I have family throwing a backyard wedding because they don't have much money to spend, but everybody is invited! And my fiance has a cousin getting married at a Veteran's hall for the same reason.

    Think of areas you can cut out:
    1) small wedding cake with sheet cake in back for guest
    2) wine and beer only (no liqueur)
    3) Ipod music instead of a DJ
    4) No limos, cars
    5) Buy your dress secondhand or buy a sample
    6) Cut the flower budget or do them yourself the day before

    If you go to the Budget forum there are lots of great ideas for how to cut cost and stay in budget. Sometimes you just have to give up some of those "extras" so you can afford to invite those people that you want to share your day.

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