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Bridal Shower

alli65alli65 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum

My fiance has a few aunts who live out of town as do I.  My question is do I put them on the guestlist for the bridal shower?  We both have great relationships with all of them and I would love for them to be there if they could BUT I 1. Don't want them to feel obligated to buy a plane ticket or make the drive in and 2. If they didn't want to travel feel like they have to send a gift. 
So my question is what is the proper etiquette for out of town relatives and the bridal shower?

Thanks Ladies!

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Re: Bridal Shower

  • FutureMrsTRFutureMrsTR
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary
    We only invited really close OOT ladies to my bridal shower.  Which came down to my three aunts on my mom's side with whom I have a close relationship.  I didn't invite any of FI's extended family because I didn't really know them.
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    We invited aunts from both sides (since I know my FI's aunts really well) to the shower.  Since we didn't want to invite some aunts and not others, we just invited them all, even the OOT ones.  We kind of felt the same as you - we didn't want them to feel left out, but we also didn't expect them to come or give a gift.  If you are close to them, I say invite them.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I honestly don't know what the etiquette is, but to me it seems way to gift grabby.  I don't know anyone who would fly to a shower other than a bride and maybe a BM, so I feel like it seems gift grabby.  But then there are people who feel the OOT ladies would be offended if they weren't invited.  I still just couldn't do it though so I didn't have them on my guest list.
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  • FutureMrsTRFutureMrsTR
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary
    Oh and none of my OOT aunts had to fly, they were all within driving distance.
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  • megs2011megs2011
    10 Comments
    I would say if you are really close to them invite them and let them decide. If they know you well enough, they won't think you're just looking for gifts. I would rather them not feel left out. I have a lot of OOTers amd I'm inviting them because they are important to me and I want them to be there.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    100 Comments
    I will go personal on this one.  I was invited to my SIL's baby shower even though we live on opposite sides of the country, and I thought it a bit strange because obviously I wasn't going to fly cross country to attend the shower and, of course, I was going to send baby gifts even without the invitation. 

    Parenthetically, I spent hundreds on the gifts and never received a TY note from her which is one of the many, many reasons we no longer speak.  Was she being gift grabby; she is just plain grabby under all circumstances.

    I'm not sure if this is any kind of answer (I feel better though), but it is one of those issues that your instincts are probably better than anything any of us can tell you.  If you feel the aunts would be offended not to be invited, send them an invitation.  If, on the other hand, you think they would feel more as if this were a reminder to send a gift, then don't send the invitation.
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