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MOH Shower Question-PLEASE HELP!

mdavis4mdavis4
in Pre-wedding Parties

I am the Maid of Honor in my friend's wedding, and there are no other bridesmaids.  She is expecting me to throw her this fabulous shower for all her friends but I am on a very strict budget at the moment...etiquette says that all the bridesmaids chip in for the shower but I'm the only one! Any ideas on how I can still throw her a great shower without spending too much money?  Any help, advice, thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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Re: MOH Shower Question-PLEASE HELP!

  • PharmacyBridePharmacyBride
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I would share your concerns with the bride.  This isn't your responsibility to pay for all of it on your own.  I would ask if there are aunts on either side (B or G) that can help you- they usually want to.

    As for ideas- have it at home, make the food or shop around for good catering prices.  Don't go overboard on decorations or favors.

    Don't serve an entire lunch- make it more appetizer style.  (2 and 3PM are good start times to avoid serving a meal)  Keep the drink list simple- either juice and soda or maybe buy cheaper wine in bulk if you want some liquor.

    If you want to avoid paper plates- look into places like Big Lots.  I hosted a Thanksgiving once and needed plates- I got a bunch for $1 each and they looked nice.  They were plain white and I got a color table cloth to make them pop.  No one knew they were cheap and I got to use them afterwards.  Same goes for flatware.  (Although paper plates and plastic forks are absolutely fine.)

    Don't feel obligated to throw her a lavish affair.  Just keep it simple.  If she wants more from her shower- she should help you out or find people who will help you out (ie. aunts).

    Just remember- you aren't required to go broke just because you agreed to be in her wedding.  There are no obligations.

    Good luck

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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-shower-question-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8e51443d-2862-45a2-bc43-16be9d4c34dbPost:4fb359da-f481-4da0-89be-4cb306283cae">MOH Shower Question-PLEASE HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am the Maid of Honor in my friend's wedding, and there are no other bridesmaids.  She is expecting me to throw her this fabulous shower for all her friends but I am on a very strict budget at the moment...etiquette says that all the bridesmaids chip in for the shower but I'm the only one! Any ideas on how I can still throw her a great shower without spending too much money?  Any help, advice, thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
    Posted by mdavis4[/QUOTE]

    Well first of all, etiquette doesn't say that *anybody* is required to pay for a shower, and if the bride is telling you that she expects you to throw her one, or what she expects at it, then she is being very rude.  If you still want to host one anyway, then you can make it low key by having it at somebody's house in the afternoon (non-meal time), and just having some snacks.  You don't need a ton of decorations or food or silly games.  You also don't have to invite everybody she knows - tell her how many people are you are comfortable inviting, and ask her for a guest list.  If she complains about what you are planning for her, then she's being a brat, and you are well within your rights to tell her you're sorry you can't live up to her expectations and perhaps it would be better if somebody else hosted the shower.
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  • camille_11572camille_11572 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe you should try reaching out to her mom for help with planning and budgeting. I'm sure she would love to help you plan her daughter's bridal shower and would want to help monetarily also.

    If that isn't an option, maybe you can choose a fun brunch spot that is reasonably priced.

    Good Luck!!
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  • LisaTyler1984LisaTyler1984
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would ask her mom what she is planning for the bridal shower and if she needs help with anything. 
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  • larina+jeremylarina+jeremy member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    have an at home wine tasting party! on of my girls did this and not only was it an awesome time, we all learned a bit about what wine we like and it was super on the cheap for the host. to do: everyone brings a different bottle of wine, and you go through each one. if anyone of you knows a bit about wine, have them lead the tasting/discussion, and teach the rest of you about it. or if you are not wine drinkers, everyone brings a different liquor and mix etc.
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You are not required to throw the bride a lavish shower.  A shower is a gift, not mandatory.  Having said that, I love the wine tasting idea!!
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  • CourtneyBCCourtneyBC
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ya know, there's no rule that says only the BMs can throw the shower. I have four BMs, and only the MOH was a hostess. The sweet ladies who threw mine were two of my aunts, my pastor's wife, my mom's best friend (whom I've known my whole life and whose daughter is one of my BMs), and my MOH. Don't think you can't ask anyone for help. I'm sure the bride has many other special ladies in her life who would love to help you out!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-shower-question-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8e51443d-2862-45a2-bc43-16be9d4c34dbPost:59e0d34b-b585-4182-a38b-ed8847e6be52">Re: MOH Shower Question-PLEASE HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to MOH Shower Question-PLEASE HELP! : Well first of all, etiquette doesn't say that *anybody* is required to pay for a shower, and if the bride is telling you that she expects you to throw her one, or what she expects at it, then she is being very rude.  If you still want to host one anyway, then you can make it low key by having it at somebody's house in the afternoon (non-meal time), and just having some snacks.  You don't need a ton of decorations or food or silly games.  You also don't have to invite everybody she knows - tell her how many people are you are comfortable inviting, and ask her for a guest list.  If she complains about what you are planning for her, then she's being a brat, and you are well within your rights to tell her you're sorry you can't live up to her expectations and perhaps it would be better if somebody else hosted the shower.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Exactly what she says.</div><div>
    </div><div>If a shower is totally out of your budget, you need to let the bride know.  Don't let her be rude and push you into spending money you don't have.</div><div>
    </div><div>If you do want to, just do something low key.  If you have a backyard or an outdoor area at your home (or a pavilion at a part), chose a day when the weather is nice.  Plan it for the afternoon.  Go to party city and pick up some simple decor on sale (pink stuff is cheap right after V-day, green after St. Patty's, etc).  Get some party platters and a cake from the grocery, and call it a day.  Some of the best showers I've been to have been this style: 20 people in a back yard with cake and soda.  

    </div>
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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-shower-question-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8e51443d-2862-45a2-bc43-16be9d4c34dbPost:389f1723-a9c3-43ac-930b-000df254d7fa">Re: MOH Shower Question-PLEASE HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would ask her mom what she is planning for the bridal shower and if she needs help with anything. 
    Posted by LisaTyler1984[/QUOTE]

    exactly! 
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  • lharri12lharri12 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with talking to the bride's mother and let her know your situation.  Ask if she or other family members were planning to throw a shower, and if you could plan it together.  Usually, family members are excited to do these things for brides, and you could make it a joint effort.  If I had only one bridesmaid, I certainly would not expect her to throw me a shower herself, especially nothing "fabulous."
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  • bobbiward20bobbiward20 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My shower is a pot luck.  The invitations were recipe cards, and each guest is supposed to bring the recipe card filled out and that dish to the shower.  Then the host doesn't have to provide food at all, maybe just punch.  And if you do a small group, it could be done in someone's home at no cost.  The bride gets to keep all the recipies and everyone gets to bring some variety!  :)
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