RECENTLY ENGAGED DW BRIDE... CURRENTLY DROWNING.... HELP ME PLEEEEEEEASE!!!!

Re: RECENTLY ENGAGED DW BRIDE... CURRENTLY DROWNING.... HELP ME PLEEEEEEEASE!!!!

• milfette

  

  October 2012

  Congrats! I just got off Skype with a travel agent who just answered my flurry of questions and I'm finally taking my first deep calm breath. I only got engaged on the 20th of sept and I'm not as fussy about the details but I know the other knotties are here to help!

  

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• cevans11

  

  October 2012

  For us, the first step to figuring out location was actually to sit down and figure out who would be invited. Once we had a list of everyone we wanted/needed to invite, we used our best judgement and ranked how likely they would be to attend a destination wedding (ours is in Mexico)- definite(parents, siblings, best friends- the people who would be there no matter what), high, moderate, low likelihood. It gave us a general idea of how many people we could expect. Of course, this was a guess, as some of our high likelihood people can't because of other commitments, and some low likelihood people have already booked their rooms, but overall, our numbers will be about what we originally expected. 

  
  

  That might be a good first step to figuring out whether an international location would get the attendance you want, or if you need to think closer to home. 

  
  

  The other thing to consider is when you're thinking about getting married (long engagement, short, not sure, etc). Different times of year affect who will be there, and what different venues cost. 

  
  

  Those were the first two steps for us. Take a deep breath, and Congrats! 
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• BMcLeodTeam member

  

  October 2012

  The biggest first step for a lot of brides, and I've seen it on here time and time again is that you need to think about who is important to you to be there. I know you say it might just be you, but is there someone that you would look back and think 'I wish I had made sure they were there'. I know for me my immediate family was a must.
  
  This may or may not affect where you choose, which is why its important to think about. I remember hearing a bride once saying she wanted an international wedding, but her grandfather won't fly and she wanted him there, so she decided not to go that route.

  Planning Bio (Updated 04/08/12)
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• harr0610

  

  October 2012

  First off, breathe.
  
  I completely agree with Brit. This is exactly what we did. Figure out who *HAS* to be there. For me, it was our parents, siblings, and my bff who sort of invited herself (lol) but now I'm so glad she did. Ask those people if they are on board with a destination wedding. If they are, ask them if there's an amount they'd be willing to spend (i know etiquette says NEVER BRING UP MONEY EVAAAARRRRRR!" but to me it was our freaking parents. I dont think they were offended lol). From there, decide if it can work.
  
  If they can't, you and FI need to decide what's more important....the wedding you guys want or having those "VIPs" there. There's no right or wront answer, just what works for you.
  
  If people are on board then great. Narrow down the location you want based on the cost everyone agreed on, pick a location, then the fun stuff starts!

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• Julyet06 member

  

  October 2012

  Congratulations!! 
  
  I may be repeating a lot of what was already said...but first thing FI and I did was ask our "VIP" people if they would be willing/able attend our DW.  If any of the said they wouldn't, it would have been a deal breaker and we'd have our wedding at home.  After we found out that our most important friends/family would without a doubt make it I had the task of picking the island.  This was VERY hard to narrow down.  Only you (and your FI) can decided where to have your wedding.  Try to narrow it down, do you want to have a wedding on the beach, by a mountain?  Do you want to get married at a place you've visited before or somewhere you've never been. 
  
  One factor I used to narrow down the place was the pricing of flights and how far we would have to fly.  I tried to keep an affordable budget for my guests.
  
  Just try to take it one day at a time, it can get very overwhelming but you really need to research esp if the price of the trip is a big deciding factor.  Here is where a travel agent may come in handy.  You tell them what you are looking for and they do all of the required research :-)
  
  Good Luck! 

  

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• nicolej518

  

  October 2012

  Pretty much what everyone else said. Find out who is most important and what their realistic budget is. For us, leaving from the NJ area, we have gone to all-inclusive resorts for about 1000 for 7 days 6 nights so we knew this was a feasible range. We started with a list of resorts that allow weddings as there are some that do not, and went from there weeding the more expensive ones out. 

  
  

  Also, you need to decided if you want to get legally married in the states or at your destination if it's international. Some international areas have crazy restrictions....blood work, paperwork translated months in advance, residency requirements that don't included weekends or national holidays, etc. 

  
  

  Do you have a date? Start with some of the fun stuff like colors and looking at centerpieces, though your ideas will probably change a million times. Don't get so stressed out so early on!

  

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• Meg&Austin member

  

  October 2012

  Wow there is really nothing I can add. You do need to decide if you want to do it all on your own or work with a travel agent. I know my travel agent has been a very big help but that is just me everyone is different!

  
  

  Congrats though and don't forget to give us all the juicy details! 

  
  

  A website I have found helpful second to this one is bestdestinationwedding.com, some ladies have started forums on certain resorts. Some of the ladies at the same resort as me have started one and its nice to be able to talk to some ladies that have been there before of are getting married there as well. I love tripadvisor because they have pictures from people who have been there before and not just the hotel taking the best pictures possible. Although you have to take the reviews with a grain of salt because you have to realize some peoples expections are a little higher than others 

  

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• cmgannett member

  

  October 2012

  congrats! my fiance and i got engaged months back and tried planning a PA wedding..but nothing stood out to us.  so we up and decided go DW! how we decided was a lot different than what i am reading.
  maybe it was selfish...but its how we did it.
  we sat down and wrote top 3 most beutiful places we have been together, and it was an easy decision, st john usvi. now, st john is not by any means a cheap place to marry or visit. we worked with that in mind, we are going to have a very simple beach wedding and a reception at a resturaunt. everyone is staying in villas ( this saved us and our guests A TON of money). also, we are planning it a year from now, so far, all our guests have been excited and said yes to comming.
  
  i think its a balance...where will your guests be willing to travel to? but also, where is YOUR DREAM destination? if your dream is somewhere expensive, dont fret! there are plenty  of ways to cut costs and still have an amazing time.
  
  good luck with everything!

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• MrsTate2014 member

  

  October 2012

  Thank you soooo much for all the wonderful advice and information.... Some of these things we have done, like our VIP list, and we have determined that neither of us wants to be married in Illinois, so we have to travel somewhere... Our dream was to be married on the ocean... no sand though.. LOL (I know, we're a little special), at sunset with all of our guests staying with us at a bed and breakfast type place just for more intimacy with our guests.... We had decided on Key West, FL but as we looked at flights, spoke with a travel agent, and looked at the cost of taking over a bed and breakfast, it looks like it would cost our guests close to $800... and that does not include any excursions or a coupl of meals, so I am just concerned that it will turn people away from wanting to attend...  The few people that we have asked have said yes they would come paying that amount, but then we all know that people say yes until they have to put money down.....
  
  We did FINALLY agree on a colors though which I am extremely excited about.... Persimmon and Berry with hints on gold!!!! Whoo hoo!!! That was a journey!!!
  
  BTW..... Congratualtions to all of you beautiful brides!!!!!

  

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