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Catholic Weddings

Pre-Cana

My fiance and I just completed this Saturday! We weren't really looking forward to it (him especially), because giving up nine hours on a Saturday (even though obviously it's for a good cause) is not that appealing, especially when it's snowing out. But we planned a fancy dinner for afterwards to give us something to look forward to, and headed out in the snow.

But it wasn't that bad! I actually really enjoyed it, and the nine hours flew by. The leader couples were all really interesting, and had really valuable things to say about fighting fair and being patient (these were the ones that stuck out to me). I wished there had been more specific information about NFP and about financial advice, but I know they can only do so much in one day. Also, one couple at our table (which had one leader couple and three engaged couples total) was really apathetic, which made it uncomfortable for the rest of us to really open up and get into it during our small group discussions. They also fought the entire time during our short breaks...

So I guess my message is don't dread Pre-Cana, you might actually end up liking it!

Re: Pre-Cana

  • edited December 2011
    Yay! Glad you got some helpful advice out of it :)
  • edited December 2011
    I'm glad that it was a good day for you!

    I would definitely recommend taking a full NFP class, even if it is not required for Marriage Prep. Having someone to answer questions and guide you really is invaluable to learning it.
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  • edited December 2011
    That's good to know I think my Fi and I are going to one this summer
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  • edited December 2011
    Ours was a bit disappointing. We learned a lot about marriage in general, but the Catholic aspect was almost absent and they didn't say anything about NFP (we just got a pamphlet). I'm thinking that maybe we'll get more when we have our meetings with our priest. At least I hope so!
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  • edited December 2011
    I had a great experience as well! I thought the Catholic aspect was there just the right amount. The thing that was so cool was the topics they talked about were taken from a practical and realistic standpoint. I went in worried about having to give the "right" answers and say the "right" things but it was very open and laid back. I felt comfortable and felt like the point truly was for us to have a better marriage. We did have a talk about NFP and also had a talk about marriage as a sacrament so it was a combination of practical and Catholic talks.

  • katetwkatetw member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was actually happy with the amount of "Catholic-ness" about it. Obviously it's a Catholic marriage, and that needs to be present, but I also fully appreciated the financial advice, the conflict resolution advice, and the communication advice that can apply to any couple, Catholic or not. Also, while my fiance is Catholic (baptised and confirmed), he is not as "hard-core" as I am, and I was glad that we were both comfortable with the session (i.e., he didn't feel uncomfortable, and I didn't feel like I was missing out on any spiritual aspects).
  • edited December 2011
    We didn't cover NFP at all in our pre-cana. They told us about it and where to find more information if we wanted, but did not push it. I know in my area, there has been so many people moving away from the Church for various reasons, that they have stepped lightly in some instances and NFP happens to be one. I know I for one, am most definately not comfortable discussing choices like that with people I do not know well.
  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad it went so well for you!  It sounds like ours was structured pretty similarly except we didn't have leader couples at our tables... after a lot of the sessions, they encouraged you to discuss things just as a couple rather than as a small group at your table.  We had a few points where we talked at the table, but ran into a few apathetic couples later on in the retreat that just wanted to complain about having to go through such a religious-y thing... then why do they want to get married in the Catholic Church???  Not very productive discussions there...

    Definitely agree on wanting more info on the financial stuff!  Where to even begin... I budget for myself, but have no comprehension of where to even start when we combine our finances and add more complex expenses to our lives like house, kids, etc...

    I highly recommend seeking out local individual NFP classes!!  A quick session at the Pre-Cana can never cover it all... It is a really amazing thing to learn about yourself.  I'm taking Creighton method and several others on the boards here really like the Sympto-Thermal method as well.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_pre-cana-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:79b493f5-8508-43dc-bce1-7fe718fd2eb5Post:08c59fcd-210e-4f74-98be-89fc47b23e65">Re: Pre-Cana</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm taking Creighton method and several others on the boards here really like the Sympto-Thermal method as well.
    Posted by newlyseliski[/QUOTE]

    <div>What are these?</div>
  • edited December 2011
    They are methods of Natural Family Planning (NFP), which is the only Church-approved means (except abstinance) by which a couple can space, delay, or avoid (with grave cause) pregnancy. Basically it comes down to not having sex when a woman is fertile.

    Creighton uses standardized observations of cervical mucous (CM) to determine fertility. It is also uses NaPro Reproductive Technology to help women identify and treat health and fertility problems.

    Sympto-Thermal (ST) uses CM, basal body temperatures (BBT) and often cervical position and/or sensation to determine fertility. It is also taught by the very popular (and very helpful -- I would recommend it to every woman) book Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF).
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks, biblio! You have sold me on TCOYF, so I am ordering from Amazon:)
  • edited December 2011
    You're welcome. Glad I could help!
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