On-line registries that (politely) ask for cash?

nkangel29 · March 2010

Hi Ladies,

Can you reccomend any online sites through which I could register for cash gifts? Ideally I would like a site that lets guests know what the gift will be going towards (honeymoon, new furniture, etc.)

Also- for any of you that have used these sites to register- how did your guests react?

Thanks!

EKobrenski · March 2010

I don't think there is really a way to politely ask for cash. There are honeymoon registries, but I think they get mixed reactions

MandahGirly · March 2010

There is no such thing as a "cash" registry per se. The closest would be a honeymoon registry (which I personally have no problem with). FI and I were going to do a honeymoon registry, but we decided to do a traditional registry but it was a lot smaller than what most people had. Then we had our close family members spread around the word that the couple prefers cash. I think that is the best way to go

Galaxy8227 · March 2010

I agree with PP's. There really isn't a "cash" registry. HM registry's get a bad rep cause it's like your asking for cash, which a lot of people have a problem with. I think that if you do a HM registry, also set up a in-store registry for people who want to buy you a physical gift. You could have family spread the word (if people ask) that you are trying to save up for furniture and maybe some furniture store gift cards would be nice.

CCBelle · March 2010

And there is really no polite way to ask for cash.

Krolik1519 · March 2010

My Cousin had a "Greenback" Party. Like a Bridal Shower but with men and women. It was in a hall with a bar and tables set up and they just served hors d'orderves. It was really nice. It was like a pre-reception.

sniksa · March 2010

Because my cousin really was hoping for cash for her wedding for a downpayment on a house, she opted to include a section in her wedding website for "plans after the wedding". The wedding website is obviously nothing earth-shatteringly creative, however by including a section of what their goals as a couple were for the future, she was able to sneak in that section that they were saving up to put a downpayment on a house (as well as children, travel etc). Without explicitly asking for cash, or "registering" for cash, People were able to see what her long term goals were and support them through their gifts to the couple.

I thought this was good way to get the message across, and let people make their own decisions. They ultimately did register at the usual C&B and BB&B, but she said they did end up with a lot of cash gifts, more than they expected. I think in this economy people are respectful of the fact that couples are trying to make responsible choices that will set them up for the rest of their lives- and may be willing to support that in a cash gift towards a lifelong investment instead of a physical item- but it has to be THEIR choice, and there needs to be options presented.

noodle_oo · March 2010

I agree with PP. Not polite to just ask for cash and I think it often backfires. I don't necessarily mind honeymoon registries (don't love them and I wouldn't contribute to them, but to each their own), but I'd prefer to see a small store registry along with it so that guests have the option of either. I think that when guests see a small registry they get the hint.

gostissa · March 2010

I know there are a lot of mixed reactions about HM or cash registries.
I don't see anything bad in them, as long as they are done with good taste and you offer your guests also a "traditional" registry if they prefer.
We had registries at williams-sonoma and BB&B, as well as an honeymoon registry.
We put nice descriptions of the gifts, so that every guest would know what we were planning to use their money for (for example, excursions, snorkeling, dinner in a nice restaurant, massages, etc.). Then we made sure to mention how much we enjoyed this and that in our thank-you cards! Our guests had a very positive reaction to the website!!!
We used sendusoff.com and we didn't have any complaint. They keep a small fee (7.5%), which is a decent one as compared to other websites (I did some research, other websites advertise lower fees, but they have other hidden costs!). THey sent their checks very promptly and the site offer message and thank you note features. They also offer free wedding website, but we did not use it!

MCarmine · March 2010

Asking for cash is rude in IMO. I'm also not a fan of honeymoon registrys for that exact reason.

If you need cash the only way to really "ask" for it is through word of mouth. Say something like "we have a registry at Macys but we are really saving for a house and furniture". Ask your parents/WP to do the same.

Plus, most sites take a percentage and I would want to aviod that.

jacquikev · March 2010

I think asking for cash can be rude, but aLSO I dont have a problem with a honeymoon registry. Your registering for a trip with activities like horsebaCK riding or a massage. I enjoy buying gifts off honeymoon registries because I feel like I'm giving the couple something they will never forget rather than a monogramed dish towel that might end up in the trash lol. but hey to each their own

jkepros · March 2010

I like that idea of putting something on your website about what you are saving for, "after the wedding" type stuff. I think if you ask for cash, you should still have some type of normal registry, even if small.

Also, I know BB&B and some other places will let you register for giftcards as well as pick out items. That might also be a hint that you want the money, rather than the stuff.

Blueyed228 · March 2010

Personally, I dont think there is a "polite way" to ask for money. I also consider HM registries as asking for money, so I dont agree with those either.

If you dont want to register for household items, just skip the shower. People will get the hint and end up giving you cash anyway.

I would really think about a cash registry before you do it. Some people will take serious offense to it. Example: I was a BM for a bride who insisted on having a "green" shower. I repeatedly told her not to do this, but she insisted. I was the RSVP contact for the shower and had to take the calls from people who were VERY unhappy and took it out on me. It was not fun. It also proves that people may not say it to the bride, but they definitely talk behind your back when they are offended. She also ended up getting alot of empty cards and f-u gifts, including a huge ceramic rooster.

Another friend did a honeymoon registry and got alot of people who gave her a card at the shower that said they donated to the honeymoon, but when she got the list of people who did, they were not on it. Some of those people were the ones who were talking about how tacky they thought the hm registry was.

junelley · March 2010

We are doing the honeyfund registery and also a couple of small registries for those who prefer to give gifts and had them listed on their website. Every person who commented on our website mentioned the honeymoon registery and the reactions have been 100% positive. People love it and said it was creative and we got inquires about how to set it up from couples who are getting married themselves in the future. I can't speak for your guests but it's working really well for us!

The site we are using is honeyfund.com

GL!

megandjay · March 2010

I like HM registries in theory, but think it is a rip off that they charge you a percent, and also that the guests really aren't "buying" you a gift. I had heard that some hotels offer HM registries, so that might be an option- then they could realy buy you something- dinner, spa treatment, scuba, whatever.

I know that most people prefer to get cash, but there is no polite way to ask for it. Do as PPs said, have a small registry and spread word of mouth (or through a website) that you are saving for a house or other things. People will get the hint.

AlexaGrant · March 2010

Haha, this reminds me of my FI who said (half jokingly - I hope!) "Can we register at Bank of America?" Um, no. But what's the ruling on furniture on registries?

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

Asking for money is never ok no matter how weel intention the couple is, or how generous your guests may be. Absolutely do NOT do this.

First of all, you look gift grabby, like you are expecting people to pay up and give gifts. I know some may argue that a registry is the same, but a registry is really a suggestion of the couples specific tastes and not a demand for a specific dollar amount. A cash registry (and even honeymoon/house registries) are much too forward and abrasive. As many pps have told you, there are plenty of wonderful ways to let people know your hopes and dreams (word of mouth, wedding website) that do not include being tacky.

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

By the way, you can always just take the cash gifts you do get and put it towards the honeymoon and new furniture, It's not like you need a registry to cash a check. This just boggles my mind.

amagwire · March 2010

It's in very poor taste to ask for cash. And honeymoon registries seem ridiculous to me.

What I'm doing is having a registry with all items we will use. Upgrades, etc, but I think it's on the smaller side. People will want to buy gifts, but having a limited registry may be a less rude way to make it clear that cash is preferred. That is what I read into it, anyway.

megandjay · March 2010

You can also see MANY threads on the Registry and Gifts board if you want more advice on this subject (some not as gentle as above):

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_im-asking-cashi-need-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b2e14ae5-08cf-4d9e-bbff-eb4b49e0782cPost:82bb90f4-fa34-4db7-b773-a7f130fa3bc9

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_please-ask-visa-gift-card

mac4929 · December 2011

My fiancee and I used Zankyou.com and we had absolutley the best experience with them. We already live together and have everything we can possibly want and need so I really dont want to be forced to get things that I dont need and have to return it. What we did was put a honeymoon fund and experiences that we wanted to do so our guests contribute to that and that is exactly what we did for the cass we received. There is no hidden agenda here and our guests absolutely knew that we were asking fo the cash equivalent of all the symbolic gifts we put on there. I feel like it is my wedding and my registry so I am embracing thenew technology and also saving my guests the time and hassle of going out and buying things that I really dont want or need.

mac4929 · December 2011

My fiancee and I used Zankyou.com and we had absolutley the best experience with them. We already live together and have everything we can possibly want and need so I really dont want to be forced to get things that I dont need and have to return it. What we did was put a honeymoon fund and experiences that we wanted to do so our guests contribute to that and that is exactly what we did for the cass we received. There is no hidden agenda here and our guests absolutely knew that we were asking fo the cash equivalent of all the symbolic gifts we put on there. I feel like it is my wedding and my registry so I am embracing thenew technology and also saving my guests the time and hassle of going out and buying things that I really dont want or need.

On-line registries that (politely) ask for cash?

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