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Never saw this before..

NoAngelxNoAngelx
10 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I went to a cousins wedding this summer, It was very casual...
On my aunt and uncles acreage...We all stood and watch the quick outdoor ceremony.Then the reception was in the huge green houses, very casual, buffet etc.

Anyhow, The bride a groom had a big jar in front of them on their table and people were putting money in it...
And then some people put in like $20 and would bang on it with a fork demanding a big kiss to take place!

The MC (brides brother) mentioned many times about the jar and how people could donate to a honeymmon, pay for kisses etc...

I'm not huge on etiquette and rules, But even I thought it was tacky.

So now my mom suggested that for MY wedding...ummm NO
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Re: Never saw this before..

  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    It sounds tacky to me.  I guess this is acceptable in some regions/cultures, but I would feel VERY uncomfortable putting money in a jar for the B&G.   
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  • TiffannieFTiffannieF member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I saw some one else post this as an alternative to clinking glasses.  Yes very money grabbing look they created for themselves.  "Please stand outside, feed yourself, and eat in a greenhouse while you pay for our HM...oh sorry you couldn't treat you better but you know we're getting married, give us money". lol
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  • ShadowCutterShadowCutter
    10 Comments
    That is weird. Are they paying to see the couple kiss each other, or getting a kiss from the bride themselves? I've heard of the "let me kiss the bride" tradition but not with money involved, and I don't want to do any of that.
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  • NoAngelxNoAngelx
    10 Comments
    I don't think anybody knew, it was my cousin and we are a small close family and it had to be announced (mentioned) many times thru the night... Geez if people would pay FI and I to kiss, we'd be rich!!!
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_never-saw-this-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:5ce9ed1f-41f5-4e13-9539-285db88597aePost:cc0d6e56-ca37-428a-ba5f-83caed129475">Re: Never saw this before..</a>:
    [QUOTE]If people knew to put money in it then it's probably something they do normally and something you are not used to. Just because you are not used to it does not mean it's tacky.
    Posted by wrdgirl[/QUOTE]

    I disagree with that. I'm willing to give some consideration for regional customs and all, but that doesn't make them non-tacky. It's generally accepted tacky perhaps, but it's still in poor taste. I guarantee that the OP was not the only one who thought this was offensive.
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    Sounds money grabby to me.  As if the gift they brought wasn't enough.  I would feel awkward walking up to them, and putting money in the jar.  I feel like they would be mentally keeping track of who put what in there.
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  • NoAngelxNoAngelx
    10 Comments
    I double checked with my mom and it's not tradition in the family (either side)
    The couple just thought it up...

    And her suggesting it to me, was a joke! *whew*
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  • B&K10+13+12B&K10+13+12
    100 Comments
    That's horrible!  This reminds me of when my BFF got married they had a dollar dance.  After the wedding I met them at her parent's house to sign the marriage license, and they were actually complaining that they did not get nearly as much as they wanted to help pay for their HM!  I was speechless....
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  • toothpastechicatoothpastechica member
    1000 Comments
    ive seen this before and totally understand why it was done...the couple felt awkward kissing all the time (who wouldnt) and so instead of having the clinking of glasses they did this to discourage people from making them kiss...while at the same time getting something out of tradtion they dont like but know is going to happen anyways for themselves. I'll probably be hated, but i kinda like the idea.....because i think the clinking glasses is distastefull but if you dont replace it with something you can have your mc say not to do all you want and people still will!

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  • almost-a-bridealmost-a-bride member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_never-saw-this-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:5ce9ed1f-41f5-4e13-9539-285db88597aePost:4d5623dc-fb27-45c3-b527-92cf6b1e05a4">Re: Never saw this before..</a>:
    [QUOTE]That's horrible!  This reminds me of when my BFF got married they had a dollar dance.  After the wedding I met them at her parent's house to sign the marriage license, and they were actually complaining that they did not get nearly as much as they wanted to help pay for their HM!  I was speechless....
    Posted by B&K10+13+12[/QUOTE]



    OMG. if they needed money from a dollar dance to fund their honeymoon, they shouldn't be going one. That's crazy to me!
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  • JesssiLynneJesssiLynne
    First Comment
    I would personally feel uncomfortable as the bride to have the jar in front of me. I do not like asking people for money. I will probably do the dollar dance just because it gives the guests a chance to dance with me (and my groom), and that way they can give the money to my MOH standing nearby with a basket and do not feel pressured by the amount they give. :) A more personable approach with less pressure to give.
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  • B&K10+13+12B&K10+13+12
    100 Comments
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never saw this before.. : OMG. if they needed money from a dollar dance to fund their honeymoon, they shouldn't be going one. That's crazy to me!
    Posted by almost-a-bride[/QUOTE]

    Seriously!  I couldn't believe that they were being so greedy! 
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  • Sydney91Sydney91 member
    100 Comments
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_never-saw-this-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5ce9ed1f-41f5-4e13-9539-285db88597aePost:b51f0cb8-435b-4cf8-a33a-f517e8355bf7">Re: Never saw this before..</a>:
    [QUOTE]ive seen this before and totally understand why it was done...the couple felt awkward kissing all the time (who wouldnt) and so instead of having the clinking of glasses they did this to discourage people from making them kiss...while at the same time getting something out of tradtion they dont like but know is going to happen anyways for themselves. I'll probably be hated, but i kinda like the idea.....because i think the clinking glasses is distastefull but if you dont replace it with something you can have your mc say not to do all you want and people still will!
    Posted by toothpastechica[/QUOTE]
    I see what you are getting at with the discouragement thought. I want to discourage it but don't know how to tactfully.
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