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April 2012 Weddings

Am I nuts...(Long)

So maybe I'm being crazy and whatever, but i'm really upset and hurt over MIL's comments at our wedding...that I just found out about. 

I recapped on our FB page about how MIL made some snarky comments at the wedding (4/20) about not being in the family picture for her EX-h's family.  She even stormed off mad, making a scene.  I honestly don't know why you'd want to be a family pic if you've been divorced for 15 yrs....and her EX-h is passed away.   

I talked to SIL yesterday, for the 1st time since the wedding.  She said "sorry if mom made a scene about pics".  My response was "who cares, she looked silly, not me".  SIL says "yeah, but she was really out of line, i mean asking the photographer to take a pic of just us - me (SIL), H, and her - was just not right".  My response...wait - what?  She wanted a family pic on our wedding day w/o me?  I totally understand wanting to take a pic w/ the groom, her son.  But no Bride in the family pic....um what?

  I guess our photographer knew what's up b/c she didn't do it...but I i'm really disappointed that after everything we've done for her, and how she acts to my face - she either doesn't want to accept me or doesn't like me.      

  I talked to my BFF/MOH she said not to worry about it.  That i'm being overly sensitive.  She said that she would be more upset about the other drama MIL caused at the wedding than this, but I can't get over the hurt feeling. 

  I'm not taking it out on H at all, but I feel like all the financial assistance we've given his mom and ways that we've accomidated her...for what? He apoligized on her behalf, but I know it's not his fault. :( I'm just sad/aggrivated.    
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Re: Am I nuts...(Long)

  • Totally understand your aggravation especially with the things you've done for her. Join the club. My husband's sibling...who doesn't always act like much of a sister and had even threatened drama before the wedding...made a scene over pictures at our wedding because it wasn't possible to take them where she wanted since their elderly parents had already made their way downstairs and weren't going to be able to get back upstairs, and although there was other drama that arose and there were enough other things that went wrong, her hissy fit was the icing on the cake and ruined the day. They also wound up with a family picture without the bride.  Try to focus on the support from your sister in law and best friend and have a united front with your husband, maybe he will be less inclined about doing anything to help his mother, at least for a while.  Good luck with everything, you are NOT nuts and I hope you feel better about it after venting.

    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • mdphdmdphd member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    My H took a family pic with just his family, without me in it... we set it up that way. then added me in.  I didnt think to have hurt feelings over it...they were a family before I became part of it, and it's just a picture.  We did the same with my fam.

    I get that you are upset, but overall this seems like a very small thing.  You're taking it as her not accepting you, but it may not be that at all.  Maybe have H talk to her about it.  But remember, you're married, your H is on your side regarding MIL...life is pretty good.  =)
  • rlavachrlavach member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I agree with mdphd in not thinking that a pic without you is that big of a deal. There were other family & friends that got individual shots at my wedding, without me in it. I didn't think anything of it. My MOH got a shot with her mom & after thanked me so much because she doesn't have ANY family pictures. Her parents were never picture takers. 

    I think this is bothering you so much because you're just upset at her for other reasons & this is one more reason to not like her. She may have tried to do this to upset you, but even so, don't let it. All you're doing is giving her what she wants. Really, it's a picture. She is small-minded to think that taking a picture without you would be that big of a dig to you. 
  • I think you guys are right...I'm thinking too much about it.  I guess I would feel different if she would have asked another person to take a picture of the three of them...but she wanted the photographer to do a formal picture.  N-way....It definitly helps to vent.  Thanks guys for listening/reading.  I'm obviously being oversensitive.  :)  Happy Friday!!
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  • I agree with mdphd and rlavach as well.  My H took a picture with just his dad and sisters (his mom passed away), but some with me as well and we did the same with my family.  I think this is just an added to all of the other things she has done, as I agree getting upset about her ex-h pictures is ridiclous. 

    Hopefully everyone can just move on and enjoy you being married.
  • DH and I both took pics with our respective families,  both with and without each other, so IDK if it's really a big deal that she wanted a family pic without you, but her attitude would tick me off, and her hissy about not being in the ex-H's family pictures amplifies all of that.  I'm sorry you have to deal with that. :(

    Hopefully things will settle down and people will start acting normal soon.

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  • rlavachrlavach member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_am-i-nutslong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:5c3a8198-23a0-4996-8a60-3729cb37d4d3Post:b9ca8e91-2d49-4ca0-a846-d6cdbd94c8f7">Re: Am I nuts...(Long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you guys are right...I'm thinking too much about it.  I guess I would feel different if she would have asked another person to take a picture of the three of them...<strong>but she wanted the photographer to do a formal picture.  N-way</strong>....It definitly helps to vent.  Thanks guys for listening/reading.  I'm obviously being oversensitive.  :)  Happy Friday!!
    Posted by chickenbut143[/QUOTE]
    Why not? The friends/family that got the pictures I spoke of in my first post were all with my photographer. I guess I just don't see the big deal. I totally don't agree with her stinky attitude & I can understand if taking these pictures was holding you up or something. If not, then you really need to let it go. You don't want to hold on to these negative memories from your wedding day. Your wedding should be a positive experience. Delete the negative thoughts.
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