This is pretty long, but I need some advice...(Disclaimer: written after many tears, glasses of wine and a xanax)I need to just vent for a second. So here I go. This is my second marriage and my FI's first. We are both in our late 20's early 30's, professionals and mostly have everything that we need house-wise. When we got engaged, I specifically informed my bridemaids that I did not want, under any circumstance, any types of showers, parties, etc. ...begging for gifts becaue I felt a little funny that we are older, well estblished in our professional, personal and financial lives and have everything that we need. A bachelorette party would be just fine. Just no showers, or anything along the lines. Well, alas, I find out they are planning a "stock the bar party" at a local fancy restaurant. They were very persistent in trying to get a guest list from me and I kept telling them that I was very appreciative but we were not interested. Finally, I caved when they convinced me that this was more for my FI, since he's never been married before. Ok. Fine. Fast forward to this week. The party is on Saturday. They planned this party at a local fancy restaurant. The theme of the shower or cocktail party as they are referring to it as is a "stock the bar party". It's 730 pm on a Saturday evening. They said they wanted to have the party there because the restaurant would basically do everything: set up, clean, provide food, booze, etc. Ok. fine, again. Well, today at lunch, while out with one of my bridesmaids, I was telling her that several people were asking me about the concept of the party and I had been telling them that it was basically a cocktail party with drinks and food....... to come and celebrate and support the bride and groom.... You can bring a gift if you'd like to stock our bar at home. Then she gave me the side eye and informed me that cocktails, wine, drinks or nothing of the likes wouldbe served. There would be apps instead and offer a cash bar, because offering booze was much too expensive for them to handle.I was pretty much stunned. I just about died. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but I NEVER wanted this party. Infact, I begged for no party. I don't understand why they chose such a fancy place, advertised it as a cocktail party which gives everyone the assumption that alcohol would be served and had the theme as "stock the bar" which in my opinion, implies that the party will have booze.
I feel blindsided, pissed off becaue they didn't listen to my one request, embarrassed at the thought that my guests wouldve shown up to this party expecting alcohol, considering the theme and would've had to pay for it themselves... TACKY... I have been the most easy going, laid back bride ever. I just feel that having my family and friends coming together to celebrate our love and our future wedding, I'd like to provide them with refreshments and something to eat--rather than charge them for their beverages. I did not demand anything from them. Infact, I haven't confronetd them about how hurt and sad I am, but my FI and I both agreed that it was very important to us that our guests did not have to pay for their own drinks, so we called the restaurant ourselves this evening and gave our credit card to have open bar services during the party.I understand that bridal parties are NOT obligated to throw any kinds of parties whatsoever, so I'm happy that they care about us enough to want to do this for us. I just feel like it was very unorganized and misleading. I cried all afternoon because this really wasn't in the budget but I would NEVER do such a thing to my guests--family and friends that are so important to me and made an effort to come to this event to support me. I understand that some people don't have the money to support an open bar party, but everyone pitching in to buy a couple of bottles of wine for the guests would've been a little too much to ask for, I suppose... it was so unorganized; they could've thrown a shower at a hall or someone's home without giving the guests expectations of a cocktail party and booze, especially on a Saturday night...... Ok i'm rambling now... Is this just crazy? Am I over re-acting? I was so blindsided by the whole thing. The gesture was very nice of them. I appreciate it, but if you can't afford to hst a party at a fancy restaurant, don't host it there; infact, next time, please follow the bride's ONE request, no parties period.
If you got this far, thank you. Sorry for the typo's and all. I've had a couple glasses of wine this evening and a few tears.I hope I don't come on sounding like a spoiled rotten snotty brat, because I'm really not. Im just sad that this event is actually taking place, is so unorganized and that FI and I are having to shell out 2000$ for something that we never wanted.thanks for listening.