"and guest"....does this mean friend or significant other?

Re: "and guest"....does this mean friend or significant other?

• kinsey0628 member

  

  February 2012

  Can you not just let him bring a friend?  Sounds like you have the money if it was a GIRL-friend, why not let him bring a buddy?

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• ceh789 member

  

  February 2012

  Is your venue/budget totally maxxed out?  It's your brother... I can't imagine he would ask unless he really didn't want to go alone.

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• MattsPenguin member

  

  February 2012 edited February 2012

  "And guest" typically means anyone that the person feels like spending the day/wedding with.
  
  I don't know that I would deny your brother.  Granted, it's highly likely that he knows someone at the wedding, but stil.  Why does he want to bring a friend? 

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• pgcp member

  

  February 2012

  Well since a significant other would be invited by name, an "and guest" is by definition a friend.

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• StephBeanWed61502 member

  

  February 2012

  If you really can't accommodate this person due to budget/space reasons, then say so, but otherwise, I'd say let him bring his friend.  He's your brother, and if having his friend at your wedding will make him more comfortable there (and you'd be willing to invite the person if the person was female), then why not? 

  my to-read shelf:
  

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• aragx6 member

  

  February 2012

  You must accommodate for someone's significant other -- that's not a +1 situation. you'd need to find out their name and include it on the invitation. But that's obviously not the case with your brother who is truly single. That's the difference here, and you could tell him that due to space/budget etc. you can't accommodate anyone else.
  
  That said, as others mentioned, he's your brother and if you can swing it, it would certainly be nice to allow him to bring a guest.

  

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• strlzfan11 member

  

  February 2012

  Why does it bother you that he wants to bring a friend?
  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  February 2012

  I suppose you could let him know that you are on a tight budget, but to let you know if he is in a relationship.
  
  I think the problem you could potentially run into is, what if he gets a girlfriend? That could happen by October. I think a "Let's discuss this when we get closer to the wedding" conversation needs to happen. If by then he doesn't have a gf and you have the money budgeted, it might be a nice gesture since he's your brother. However, if you dont' want to give in (and I understand if you don't) you could let him know that unfortunately you will not be able to accommodate any of his friends.

  
  

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• specialk84

  

  February 2012

  I don't see why you don't want him to bring a friend, especially since you have no problem with him bringing a girlfriend.

  
  

  One of my brother's best friends came to my wedding. I would not have thought to invite him, but I'm glad he was there.

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• LRBklyn

  

  February 2012

  Wow, that was a lot of fast responses. I guess I was getting indecisive because my mother thinks it is inappropriate....I guess we have a few "discussions" to get over in the next few months.
  Thanks for your opinions!

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• MattsPenguin member

  

  February 2012

  I definitely don't think that it's inappropriate to let your brother bring a friend.  Heck, the one time when I was single that I DID bring a guest to fulfill my +1 (normally I just went solo), was to bring my BFF who was also a friend of the bride, but wasn't invited.  Everyone was really happy with how the situation turned out.

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• kinsey0628 member

  

  February 2012

  Yeah I don't see how it's inappropriate.  I think friends are fine +1s.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2012

  It sounds like the brother was not invited with "and guest" since he's single, and in that case it seems a bit untoward of him to ask to bring a friend. Not really an appropriate request.
  
  However, if I'm mistaken, and the brother was invited with "and guest", then it's perfectly accpetable for him to make that guest a friend.

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• chrmun member

  

  February 2012

  Maybe he's trying to tell you something....

  

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• ceh789 member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_and-guestdoes-this-mean-friend-or-significant-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bc99bb4-7d8a-4bb6-9c38-6c87f3043b65Post:4c054575-aa13-422a-87bb-7090daa8c9b2">Re: "and guest"....does this mean friend or significant other?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Maybe he's trying to tell you something....
  Posted by chrmun[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I am so glad I wasn't the only one who thought this :D</div>

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• alwaysyours3 member

  

  February 2012

  I think that you should allow your brother to bring his friend to the wedding unless you really dislike the guy that he is bringing (I had to veto a friend's date because I really disliked him) or you think he could potentially ruin your big day.
  
  Otherwise, because he is your brother I think that you should allow him to bring someone. He is your brother after all.

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• specialk84

  

  February 2012

  FTR, my uncle is gay and is only out to a few people. He often refers to his partner as his friend to those who don't know.

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• stefaniewattie member

  

  February 2012

  MOST people when they have gone out of their way to actually ASK, its for a good reason and it is important, honestly for me, if someone made the effort to call and ask if its ok to bring a guest, even though one was not technically invited I would say yes, as it was important enough that they asked me. Depending on the circumstance that is...but, for your brother, definitly yes.
  My brother is single, and was invited with no plus one because he doesnt have one! but if he asked, I would definitly say yes.
  Although I do find it kind of odd that he would feel the need to, when clearly hell know people there, but to each their own, dont know the circumstances.
  GL!

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• lnk060710 member

  

  February 2012

  I agree with Kinsey...what's the big deal?

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• lnk060710 member

  

  February 2012

  Are you saying there is something wrong with the brother's male friend? If not then I don't understand what difference it makes whether it is male or female, especially if there will be OTHER male couples in attendance as well.
  

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• specialk84

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_and-guestdoes-this-mean-friend-or-significant-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6bc99bb4-7d8a-4bb6-9c38-6c87f3043b65Post:d5b849ad-87c8-46ef-9535-fffcdc16230e">Re: "and guest"....does this mean friend or significant other?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think that you should allow your brother to bring his friend to the wedding unless you really dislike the guy that he is bringing <strong>(I had to veto a friend's date because I really disliked him)</strong> or you think he could potentially ruin your big day. Otherwise, because he is your brother I think that you should allow him to bring someone. He is your brother after all.
  Posted by alwaysyours3[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>That seems like a crappy thing to do.</div>

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