We will have a lot of out of town guests coming to our wedding. Many have never been to NY before, so my fiance and I thought this would be a great opportunity for us to show them a good time in the city and for both families to meet. We are not having an engagment party since our families live so far a part. I don't think I want a shower, because I really don't want gifts. If I do one, maybe something small with friends and family like a tea or lunch. I know the Rehearsal dinner is normally reserved for the wedding party and immediate family, but we thought it would be cool to invite all of our guests to a cocktail party the Friday or Thursday before our wedding, which is on a Satuday. Again most of our family and friends will be meeting the first time, why not do it in a more informal setting than waiting for the wedding and make it more special for those traveling. Some of my BMs don't see the point of this other party, they think it will take away from the wedding itself, and that the rehearsal dinner should be just the wedding party and immediate family. But are there really any rules?