First Meeting with the priest question

TBee99 · February 2011

Hi all,

My fiance and I set up our first meeting with the priest at the church we wish to marry at. I was wondering...is it rude to discuss the date you wish to reserve during that first meeting? It seems to me that you would want to make sure your venue and the church are available on the same date before you start your pre-cana, right?

Thanks in advance!

agapecarrie · February 2011

Let the priest guide you in what you discuss. Normally, dates should not be confirmed until the discernment portion (pre-marital investigation) of marriage prep is completed. The church does not want you investing financially in a date if it has to be delayed.

In fact, doing all of the marriage prep before a date is picked is the wisest as occasionally, something might come up that makes people think ...and they have the freedom to delay if necessary.

Danidawn20 · February 2011

I know my priest personally, and he had us pick a date with the first meeting.

Calypso1977 · February 2011

our priest let us pick a date at our informational first meeting. it was all part of doing your paperwork.

but you really should be booking the church first anyway.

[Deleted User] · February 2011

It seems to me that choosing the date was one of the first things we did. Our priest wanted to make sure we were on the church's calendar. Plus, we lived out of state, so we were trying to stay ahead of the game on many things.

[Deleted User] · February 2011

Our preist asked us right away when we wanted to be married. He also had us do pre-cana closer to the wedding, His reasoning on this was that so much gets lost in the shuffle of wedding planning that pre-cana is a nice time to revisit why you are getting married and talking about the future.

catarntina · February 2011

At our first meeting -- which was actually a phone call since I was out of state -- our priest asked a few questions like, "Are you both baptized Catholic? Do you go to church? Do either of you already have children? Were either of you married before? Do you want children (his exact words were, "Do you want kids or are you plannin' on raisin' horses over there in Colorado?" ha)? What do you plan to do with those kids once you have them (Have them baptized, of course!)?"

Once he was satisfied with our answers, he asked us about what date we were looking at then put us in the books. I did not have to pay a deposit to the church though.

So after the conversation we started discussing logistics of pre-cana since I was out of state it was a little more complicated.

bibliophile2010 · February 2011

I think a good way of approaching it, if you priest does not bring it up himself, is to ask when you will be able to schedule a date.

We were able to talk about dates at our first meeting, but did not set one formally for another month or so, after visiting reception venues, since our time of year is not popular (at all) in my area.

Regardless, you should set a date and time with the church first and then try to work your reception around that. Ideally, that includes both the venue location and the time of the reception.

ring_pop · February 2011

The date was one of the first things we discussed. I"m sure it will come up.

ootmother2 · February 2011

The date was set the day the B&G found the church they wanted to be married in. It was about 14 months before the wedding.

Everything else was arranged from there. The priest was extremely helpful to them as they were planning from out of town most of the time. He even set up their pre cana in Boston where they lived rather than the town on the Cape where the church was located

CaylaSummer · February 2011

Mine was set the first time we met with the priest. they might just tell you the available dates and times they have and you can choose from there. In my parish they want you to book at least a year in advance and that you belong to that parish

TBee99 · February 2011

Ok, I'll just see how the meeting goes and if the priest brings it up. I know that my parish also requires a year, and we are well over that. Plus, I'm a member, so we should be okay there. I also was wondering because they have a summer chapel we are hoping to use since our wedding is in the summer, but I guess I'll see how things go.

lmeade62 · February 2011

We set our date in our first meeting with our priest. Same reasons as above - he wanted to make sure we got on the calendar, though this was less of a problem than it might have been if we had wanted to get married in June or September. We had a pretty specific date we needed to have due to my FI's visitation schedule with his son and my family's schedules, so we wanted to make sure that date worked for the church and the priest before we sent out our Save The Dates.

Linda

CoCo'sMommy · February 2011

I am having my first meeting next week (we are getting married this August). My mom actually went in and put a deposit down for me about 6 months ago. So I have had my deposit down and date booked for a while, but the deacon didnt even want to meet with me until now. I sopke with him at church once informally and introduced myself, but thats about it. I think your priest will probably bring it up, but dont be afraid to ask. I mean what is he going to say no?

cgielow · February 2011

The priest asked us at our first meeting

First Meeting with the priest question

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