Friday wedding vs. Sunday wedding. Help?!

CrystalSully · November 2012

We're getting married in August 2013 in Colorado with 75 guests, the ceremony will be outdoors and it's absolutely breathtaking. The problem is we can't afford to have the wedding on a Saturday, but we can't decide between a Friday evening wedding or a Sunday evening wedding. The only day time Sunday reception this place offers is from 10AM - 3PM, which is wayyyy too early for me because the ceremony itself would have to be very, very early. That's out of the question. So it basically has to be an evening wedding/reception, which would run from about 4PM-10PM. The destination we've chosen is about an hour and a half away from most guests, which is also a factor. If anyone had a wedding on either day, please let me know how it went! A Friday is appealing because it's the beginning of the weekend which should make for a better atmosphere and the late night time-frame that we've been given. It would also mean that guests would either have to take the day off from work or leave very early to drive up to the mountains in time. However a Sunday wedding would mean less guests staying late and enjoying the alcohol that we will be paying for, guests being rushed, and people not in as good of a mood overall because of the end of the weekend. Not to mention they would be adding an extra hour and a half to the evening for the drive time back down into the city regardless of which day we choose.

So there's a lot to consider, and it's a really tough choice. The prices for our venue are the same for both days, so it really comes down to preference.

I feel like we can't win no matter what we do. Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks!!

coopsbaby · November 2012

I've been to several Friday weddings which are not a problem for me since I'm self-employed. My fi can NOT get off on Fridays, so he misses out. I think you get more of a party-vibe on a Friday, but you may have people not available.

On the other hand, I don't think I'd go to a Sunday evening wedding. I have kids who would have school and such and it would totally stress me out. What do your VIPs think?

emeejeeayen · November 2012

I'm getting married August 2013 as well!

We're having a Sunday wedding because it makes the most sense for our group.

I would poll your VIPs and go with the majority consensus from that. It will give you a sense for what your group would prefer.

AimeeRab · November 2012

I'm having a friday wedding. Can't have an evening wedding at the church I grew up in unless it is on a weeknight. I spoke with almost everyone before I booked the wedding, but my FI and I felt strongly about an evening wedding. All the most important people in our lives saw that it was important to us, and we very willing to work with us. Not everyone was happy with the decision, but I gave them over a year to plan. Sometimes, you've got to do what is best for you and the people closest to you. If they can't be there, be understanding.

KellyBrian2013 · November 2012

I had an August 2012, Friday evening wedding. We cleared the idea with all of our VIPs, and then just went ahead with it. If you can start the ceremony a bit later (ours started at 6:30 PM), then guests won't necesarily have to take a full day off of work. Many of our guests worked a half day.

Many will tell you to be prepared for people to decline, or for them to show up only for the reception. I was a bit worried about both, but I have to be honest: none of our declines were because of it being a Friday wedding (versus a Saturday or a Sunday).

And in fact, H's uncle told us the next day as we were all leaving the hotel that he LOVED the Friday wedding, as he had the rest of the weekend to relax, recover, and travel home.

linnyv27 · November 2012

I am in the same situation and we ended up choosing Sunday August 25 2013. We compared the pros and cons of each day and with a lot of family coming from out of town, it's what worked best.

With a Friday wedding, guests would be flying out Friday morning therefore taking a day off. WP members would have flown out Thursday for the rehearsal so that would be two days off from work. With a Sunday wedding, they are only taking Monday off when they fly back. Most of our VIPS are either self employed or can take days off so it didn't matter much to them. Plus I like the idea of having Saturday to do any last minute errands or crafting. I realize that we most likely will get a few declines from local guests who work on Monday and have families to take care of but we're okay with that. It would have been the same with people who didn't want to miss work on Friday. The people closest to us have already said they will be there and we're making sure to get STDs out at the 9 month mark so everyone can make plans with plenty of time.

I think it all depends on your personal preferences and that of your guests. Just make sure to talk with your VIPs about it and get their input. Good luck!

Simply Fated · November 2012

I went with Sunday because that day would be easier for me, but I know that isn't the case for everyone. You know your guests best. I would check with the people who you really want to be there, like your immediate family, and see what they say and decide from there.

It shouldn't matter, the people who really care will be there no matter what.
For your own sanity, please erase this thought from your mind. Some people just might not be able to make it, but it doesn't mean they don't really care about you. My friend just missed his brother's funeral because of the recent hurricane. Trust me, don't gauge people's love for you based on whether or not they miss your wedding.

arco13 · November 2012

We are having a Friday evening wedding-we originally planned for a saturday, but found out our venue was double-booked and we were the 2nd booking. If we mad it any earlier, it would interfere with half our WPs finals, and I was nervous about making it any later because late May/June in Texas for an outdoor wedding just might not be a good thing.

So, we picked Friday, because we wanted an evening wedding, and would really not like the idea of a Sunday evening wedding. I think if you want more of the drinking/party atmosphere, Friday's your best bet. Then again, I'm also partial to friday because it's not very hard for FI and I to take off work, so we wouldn't mind skipping a day for that at all.

missglinda14 · November 2012

We are having a Jewish wedding, so Friday wasn't an option for us and we didn't want to have a super late ceremony start time for a Saturday party. So we ended up choosing a Sunday evening wedding. Sunday is the day Jewish weddings are typically done, so it works out fine in our circle. Ask your VIP guests what works best for them and go from there.

[Deleted User] · November 2012

I agree those saying check with vips. We are doing a Sunday evening. For our group, it makes more sense. Most of our friends will have to travel and take a day regardless. Its easier for them to fly to the wedding Saturday and then take Monday off to fly back. Most of my family is local so they can be home by 11:30 even if they stay the whole time. So, it was best for our crowd but I realize that isn't necessarily the norm. Also, be prepared that any Friday or Sunday wedding is likely to have more people not attend. That's why its good to consult your vips so at least they are aware and on board. Eta for putting the wrong day.

Ven&Radio · November 2012

My fiancee and I asked his family (who lives 600 miles away) what day of the week worked best for them. They all answered Friday or Saturday would be fine, so we picked Friday since it's more economical. We're having an evening event, which will allow his family to fly in that morning if they choose (it's about 3 hours of travel time by plane, including a layover).

lyndausvi · November 2012

I would prefer Friday over Sunday.

FWIW - I HATE this option "It shouldn't matter, the people who really care will be there no matter what."

People not attending your wedding =/= not caring about you.

People have lives. Work, kids, other social obligations, whatever all play into whether or not they can attend a wedding regardless of the day of week.

For example: I do not get PTO. So taking a day off to attend your wedding makes me lose a day's pay. I might care about you, but putting food on my table might be more important at the time.

Point is, pick a date that works for you and your most of your guests. If some people can't attend it's not because they don't care sometimes schedules don't work out. NBD.

cwaggoner07 · November 2012

I would normally pick a Friday over Sunday, BUT due to the fact that you said a lot of people will be driving an hour and a half afterwards, it seems like you won't get the party atmosphere no matter what.

The one benefit of Friday versus Sunday is that people can drink and have a good time and not worry about work the next day, but if they have to drive back anyways, it won't matter.

Bottom line, ask your VIP's what they prefer and what works best for them.

misssunshine17 · November 2012

I would go with Sunday because no matter what it sounds like people will leave early. I think it's a little off to assume your guests who aren't your VIPs will take off work to attend your wedding. If you add lost wages into your budget, you probably don't save any money from a Saturday wedding.

CrystalSully · November 2012

Ok guys, can we please ignore the whole "it shouldn't matter" option in the poll? I'm not seriously that naive to believe that if people can't make it to my wedding for whatever reason, that means they don't care about me. I browsed several other website forums on this Friday vs. Sunday issue, and a lot of responses to others simply said "choose whatever you want, it shouldn't matter, blah blah blah" which is frustrating because that's not helpful at all. I included that option in the poll so that people might just click "vote" and not bother telling me that useless sentiment.

Aside from that, thank you all so much for the suggestions! I really appreciate everyone taking time to try and offer some help. As many of you mentioned, since the drive is about an hour and a half and the location is way up in the mountains, I'm worried that I won't get that late-night party atmosphere regardless of the day I choose, so this is still going to take some thinking!

CrystalSully · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friday-wedding-vs-sunday-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a25e7231-8091-4057-b533-17b89475907bPost:7c1db257-25df-40fa-a1af-e0d5e8342102">Re: Friday wedding vs. Sunday wedding. Help?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would go with Sunday because no matter what it sounds like people will leave early. I think it's a little off to assume your guests who aren't your VIPs will take off work to attend your wedding. If you add lost wages into your budget, you probably don't save any money from a Saturday wedding.
Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]
<div>I'm not assuming anything, I've actually been told by the vast majority of my guests that they would <strong>love</strong> the chance to take a day off and take a trip up to the mountains to our location, possibly staying at a nearby hotel afterwards. However, I would rather no one take any days off which is why I'm considering Sunday in the first place. It's not like I'm asking for half of someone's yearly salary here, just an evening to come celebrate the wedding at a popular vacation destination. If it meant someone would probably need to leave work a little bit early, that's not the end of the world either. I know I would.</div>

achiduck · November 2012

I've been to a Friday afternoon wedding where the ceremony started at 5:30 pm and a Sunday wedding where there ceremony started at 2 pm and they had an evening reception. The friday wedding was a coworker so my boss gave everyone the afternoon off to get ready/travel since it was 60 minutes from where most of us live. It was great but had it been anyone else it would have been harder to get the time off. FI wasn't able to make it as he was working nights at the time and has a hard time getting time off for non-family weddings.

Personally, I'd prefer a Sunday wedding since I wouldn't feel rushed to get there, etc.

kay136 · November 2012

We are having a Friday wedding. Most of our guests are traveling from OOT to San Diego and using it as a vacation. We originally chose Friday beacuse I didn't want to pay more for a Saturday wedding. I also wanted a Friday wedding as oppossed to Sunday beacuse I want everyone to be able to party and not have to worry about working the next day. That's just me beacuse my ideal wedding is just a huge party with dancing late into the night. Also- I would personally be much more likely to attend a Friday wedding than a Sunday night wedding.

I agree with PP's that say you should ask your VIPs and see what works best for them and just understand that some people will not be able to make it because of work or may just come to the reception. There will always be reasons that people can't make it so as long as your VIPs are ok with it go with whatever option fits best into your "ideal wedding."

TiffanyT816 · November 2012

I'm doing a Friday evening at 5pm wedding.

I've talked to all of my VIP's and it works for their schedules. I'm also sending out STD's WELL in advance, to assist with people out of town planning, etc. If people can't make it, that's fine, I completely understand.

Calypso1977 · November 2012

both are bad.

id do a saturday wedding 10-3, which is probably cheapter than saturday evening as well.

jhg140 · November 2012

We are doing a Friday wedding, with a 7 pm start time.

A personal experience - Last summer, we had a Friday wedding to attend out of state. At the time, I was a shift supervisor at a production facility and couldn't fudge vacation by "working from home" the way I normally could. I was a bit miffed about having to leave half a day early. However, all of our friends were going, it would be a great time, yada yada yada. Let me tell you, when I woke up Saturday morning after drinking pretty constantly since we arrived Thurs PM, I was never so glad to NOT get on an airplane in my life. It was also nice that the bride and groom planned an activity for the day after (we all went to an MLB game), and that gave them a chance to hang with their friends in a more laid back atmosphere post-wedding.

My one suggestion if you decide on Friday - having plans for your guests on Saturday is a nice touch. We decided that instead of my mother hosting a day-after brunch, we would do a crawfish boil (since most out of towners have never been to one), and invite everyone to attend. I'm not saying you need to pay for even more crap (i.e. the other Fri wedding I attended, we were offered the tickets at a discounted rate but we paid for them, NBD), but just making plans for people unfamiliar with the area is a great way to extend the weekend and create a memorable vacation.

aurianna · November 2012

Where is the:
D) If I'm out of town, I wouldn't go to any none-Saturday wedding if it wasn't a close family member or a dear friend because my vacation time is limited and I'd really not want to spend it traveling all day.
(A wedding that ends at 10pm on Sunday is most likely going to involve OOTers having to take at least part of a day off on Monday. You know this right?)

I would definitely prefer going to a 10am wedding and then going to a really nice brunch reception (in the mountains? Fab!!). Yes, you'll have to wake up super early, but isn't that something you're willnig to do for the convenience of your guests?

So personally if Saturday isn't an option, I vote for an early Sunday. That way people can travel on Saturday (Saturday plane tickets are often cheaper than Friday), and still leave at a normal hour on Sunday.

If you're set on Friday or Sunday...
Expect some people to skip the ceremony Friday and just come to the reception.
Expect some people to come to ceremony/dinner on Sunday and then immediately leave.

If a lot of your guests are younger and there's going to be lots of hosted alcohol... I'd say go with Friday. People can party all night and sleep in the next day.

If it's going to be more of an elegant/relaxing/chill reception, then go with Sunday. People can unwind and go home early and it will be nice.

DramaGeek · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friday-wedding-vs-sunday-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a25e7231-8091-4057-b533-17b89475907bPost:74f6844b-6d52-4865-b8a1-34b7d0110009">Re:Friday wedding vs. Sunday wedding. Help?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would not take off work for a Friday wedding unless it was literally immediate family or one of my 5 closest friends. I'd go to a Sunday wedding but leave as soon as dinner was over if it were an hour and a half drive home.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I know you say it's off the table, but I think the earlier Sunday option is your best bet.</div>

haileyschwebbs · November 2012

both aren't ideal... but friday weddings are evil. Im from NY/CT area... the traffic on a friday is torture... i doubt its that bad in CO but in my experience getting to the 2 friday weddings i had this year were way worse than the 2 sunday weddings i had...

the only con of wedding on a sunday is having to wake up for work the next day after a night of drinking... but that is up to the guest to pace themselves. Also if your guests are considering taking off a friday for a wedding it should be just as easy to take off a monday. Go for sunday...

rdillardesq · November 2012

My wedding is on a Sunday, but we are getting married on Memorial day weekend, which could go either way. Guests may come and party hard, or they may not come because of planned trips etc. I have attended Sunday weddings on regular weekends and I find that you can get away with a lot of things that you can't on say a Saturday evening or Friday evening wedding.

For instance, you could do a dessert reception, or an appetizer reception with no real worries. You could have a dry reception since guests who are concerned about going to work won't heavily drink anyway or may not drink at all. I think Sunday receptions are really over looked.

Friday receptions are fine, but I would most likely miss the ceremony and end up at the reception due to work requirements.

lringue · November 2012

Me and my Fi were in the same boat. I wanted a fri and he wanted a sun. I gave in on the sun. and we booked the venue. A lot of people started talking to my fi and he then told me that everyone he talked to would rather a fri than a sun. So we ended up changing the wedding date to a fri. There were few more pircs at my venue for a fri. like being able to set up the day before, having the rest of the weekend off, lower prices ect..

Friday wedding vs. Sunday wedding. Help?!

Re: Friday wedding vs. Sunday wedding. Help?!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards