Second Weddings

My old engagement ring - UPDATE

I was finally getting around to selling my engagement ring from the ex and as soon as I start getting offers I freak out and back out. This is coming from the person who threw out every other memorabilia and left all the photos with him. I already sold my old wedding band when we traded for the new ones, but for some reason I'm now stuck.

At first I was thinking that I'd have the diamond (rather small) reset with a set of diamond earrings he gave me, into some unique 3 stone ring. A friend told me this was crazy and DH said he'd think about it, but then he asked how the selling was going. Now I have it posted on craigslist and have had 2 legit offers. The price I have it for is about 10% of what we paid, which is also throwing me off. I feel like I'm practially giving it away and then I get stuck on wanting it to "go to a good home."

Talk me through this ladies. I've never had even a moment hesitation moving on from my past, but here I am.

UPDATE - I'm meeting a girl on Saturday who hopefully will take it. DH had been asking a lot what the status of selling it is, so I guess it's time.
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Re: My old engagement ring - UPDATE

  • I would shop it around some jewlery stores first to see what it is actually worth. It may not be worth what you may think or it could be worth more. This will give you an accurate price to set for your ring.

    As far as letting it go, You should definitely let it go. Don't bring the old in with the new. It would be like you were carrying the old baggage in with the new relationship. If you are really stuck give it to one of your children if you had any with the Ex. 

    I didn't have that problem and I was married 15 years. I sold mine for 3 trips to Sam's Club LOL.
    imageAnniversary
  • I guess you need to ask yourself why you feel so attached to it.  Jewelry unfortunately doesn't hold its value from the price you paid - people on craigslist are going to want yard sale prices.  Your ex is an ex for a reason, I went through and destroyed everything I had from my ex and wanted no piece of him left in my life.  I cant wait to get rid of his last name!  That will be the final thing for me.  Do you have children together? perhaps you could give it to a daughter?  My mom gave me all the diamond rings my dad had bought her when she married my step-father.  She told me I could do whatever I wanted with them.  Some had paperwork from Kays and were worth quite a bit in trade.  I used them towards my wedding jewelry.  If you aren't ready right now - maybe tuck it away in a box and revisit at another time - save it for a rainy day fund.  :)
  • ellie63ellie63 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited July 2012
    I've been divorced for 18 years. I threw my cheap wedding band in the Rio Grande River probably 15 years ago. However my wedding album is still sitting on my bookshelf with the rest of my scrapbooks and my wedding dress from 25 years ago is still preserved in a box in the garage. My new wedding dress for my Jan 1, 2013 wedding is in its box on my closet shelf. What's up with that???? Let me add that I have a daughter and son and that makes getting rid of the stuff a little harder.
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Honestly, I think you should pull the ad and keep the ring.  Just tuck it away (or mail it to a friend for safekeeping if you don't want it in your house) and forget about it.  You'll eventually make a decision that doesn't make you queasy.  Until then, relax.
  • What Lisa said.  It is a part of your life that you aren't quite ready to get rid of...yet.  Maybe never.  I am packing up my house and I have placed the hat (yes, I said hat-- it was the 80's) from my first wedding in a box to go to the next house.  It made me happy back in the day, and I cannot imagine that it will ever find another use or be worth a cent at any point in time.  It's a symbol of a happy time in my life, even if it was an incredibly huge mistake.  

    I think that is part of the healing process after a divorce -- to recognize that there were happy moments, joyful times and indeed even love.  It didn't turn out so great, but it was (for most of us, not all) good for a while.  

    Just stick it in a box in the bottom of a drawer. ~Donna
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_my-old-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:e8e37969-dca1-4fc1-8ec7-2a8764874f4fPost:7ec22975-09b7-482d-a0be-523744b70864">Re: My old engagement ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]  I cant wait to get rid of his last name!  That will be the final thing for me.  /QUOTE]

    <div>Amen me too! 34 more days.</div>
    imageAnniversary
  • Thanks for the thoughts ladies! Lisa and Donna, as always, you're the best :) I think the drawer option will continue to be status quo for now.

    Ellie - I love that you threw your ring into the river, I always wanted to do that, but it felt too dramatic. I was never too passionate one way or the other over that marriage. Also, my old wedding dress is still in my guest room, can't seem to give that away! And no, it was not even from the 80s ;)

    I brought this up with DH yesterday, who really didn't have much opinion on it... yet. 

    Part of me wants to just go through with the sale, we have a small credit card bill that it would pay off, but that's not "necessary." I don't have children to pass it on to, and I doubt any friends want to hang onto it for me.

    The other issue is that I hate the thought of someone else wearing it as is, just kind of...bad juju, kwim? One jeweler did offer me a small amount one time, but every time I go back it depends on the market whether or not they want it.  I may go with that, I'd be okay knowing the reset the diamond and melted the gold. You know, demolish the whole thing, but it still becomes useful.
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  • I had the diamond removed from my old engagement ring, and got more "bad news" my XH had upgraded the stone to what he thought was 2 cts - it wasn't it was 1.77 and it wasn't the quality the certificate stated it was either... Oh well I have a loose diamond that I need to sell along with some other jewelry. 

    My DH and I still need to decide what to do with our old wedding rings as well... 

    So I understand your dilemma, but it may not have bad juju for someone else. 
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