October 2012 Weddings

Addressing help

FI has played on a coed softball team for many years.  Many of them never bring their SOs to games but I know some are in long term relationships, engaged, or married.  FI is terrible with names and doesn't know the majority of the SOs names. 

I just wrote Mr and Mrs John Smith on the ones that are married.  For the girls that are married can I put Mr and Mrs Jane Smith?  Also those that are engaged I don't want to write "and guest."  So what can I do with those?  Is "and guest" ok for long term relationships?

Also hyphenated names do I put Mrs Jane Johnson-Smith and Mr John Smith?  This was my guess.

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Re: Addressing help

  • edited July 2012

    Can your FI just ask them what their partners' names are?

  • We ran into this problem with FI's friends from work.  He just had to go around and ask what people's significant others' names were.  It took a little bit of work on his part, but we were able to put the correct names on this invites.

    Yes, that is correct for the hyphenated name.  The woman goes first in that situation.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_addressing-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:cc65a898-a56e-4457-b7d0-1caecc05d145Post:2f5898cc-0f5a-4566-b5bc-aa33d678d64e">Re: Addressing help</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can your FI just ask them what their partners' names are?
    Posted by Julia822[/QUOTE]

    He feels too embarrassed to ask. 
    Anniversary wedding-1 my read shelf:
    Heidi's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • Well now I feel silly because when FIs step mother FINALLY gave us the names and addresses of all of their family members after about 9 months of asking, all she gave us was Mr. and Mrs John Smith, etc.... and after the pain of trying to get things from her I just said screw it and that's how I addressed everything. Was that bad? I didn't do inner envelopes for them.
  • FI was embarrassed to ask too, but he knew that it had to be done.

    If you're going to leave out people's first names, I think it's better to address it as:
    Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Leave out first name completely
    rather than:
    Mr. and Mrs. Jane Smith - that just sounds weird to me
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_addressing-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:cc65a898-a56e-4457-b7d0-1caecc05d145Post:8366baa5-fb5f-45af-8da8-f7f5eda430a9">Re: Addressing help</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI was embarrassed to ask too, but he knew that it had to be done. If you're going to leave out people's first names, I think it's better to address it as: <strong>Mr. and Mrs. Smith</strong> - Leave out first name completely rather than: Mr. and Mrs. Jane Smith - that just sounds weird to me
    Posted by Nic12184[/QUOTE]

    Good call.  I don't know why I didn't think of this.
    Anniversary wedding-1 my read shelf:
    Heidi's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • Hmmm...do you know anyone else on the team who might know?  Maybe he can enlist someone else to ask around.

  • I addressed all my invites mr and mrs smith and I went formal on the inner envelope and wrote the same thing....
  • I did Mr. and Mrs. Smith (no first names) on some and I think that's fine.  I also was confused about writing and guest.  What I did for people in relationships but not living together is address the envelope only to the friend of ours and then I included a little note attached to the RSVP card sayig that two places were reserved for them.  I don't have inner envelopes so this was the best I could think of. 
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