Should I?

melissasdwedding · July 2012

My sister says I should do a dollar dance, and I never heard of one until she told me. I know its my wedding but she says its fun & its popular at weddings. Is this tacky? Anybody else doing this?

gabriel0915 · July 2012

Almost everyone will tell you it's tacky. Personally, I can't say I know anyone that would do that at their wedding.

celticmyss · July 2012

I think it's acceptability is somewhat regional but in general I would find it tacky. I'll dance with someone because I want to, not because they're paying me.

MrsBassPlaya · July 2012

Almost every wedding I've been to has had it. I think it's sort of a regional thing. I, personally, love the dollar dance; but 90% of people will tell you it's tacky. I see it as an excuse to steal a few seconds away and get to say hi to the groom (or bride). One on one time with the special couple is pretty rare at a wedding, even if it's just a few seconds. Plus I would never ever ever just walk up to the groom and start dancing with him on my own if I didn't have the dollar dance as an excuse. Some of my cousins who live long distance who have gotten married, the dollar dance is literally the only time I've ever met or spoken to their husbands. So I value it.

I always come to weddings with a few extra dollars. We'll definitely be doing it. However, it's not for everyone. Don't let your sister pressure you into something that you're not comfortable with.

amberlopez2 · July 2012

I am on the same thing. Everybody in my group says it's a normal thing to do at the wedding, but I think it's tacky myself. Here in Kansas it is done at most weddings. I mean Imagine if nobody had cash on them (crickets sqeeking)? I know that i rarely carry cash on me, and if I were to go to a wedding I wouldn't be able to participate in the dollar dance.

Fluffernut · July 2012

I think it's very regional and somewhat cultural in places too. It's common in my group of friends to do the dollar dance. Most on here will say it's tacky. I'm on the fence. I see the tacky aspect in the fact that the guests have blessed you with their presence and possibly gotten a card or gift for you already and then you ask them to pull out their wallets for a dance. But I also see that it's a dollar. Some give more. Some don't dance at all. I don't feel funny if I don't dance that dance with the bride and groom. But sometimes if I'm the guest of an invited person, I feel awkward dancing with people I don't know (usually encouraged by the invited guest, I don't just randomly choose to :-) Some people feel like they are being side-eyed because they don't want to dance the dollar dance with the bride/groom, like "geez, you're the only person who won't pony up a dollar for them? Wow!" But I don't feel that way. I would say if it's not common in your group, you may want to stay away from it.

hollyweenOR · July 2012

I'd say that if you hadn't heard of it, then it's probably not usual in your area, and people who aren't familiar with it either might not know what to do or might feel a little put-on-the-spot. I'd probably not do it for that reason. If it's a cultural thing, I really don't have a problem with it, but if almost all the guests haven't seen it, then it probably wouldn't work too well.

calindi · July 2012

MrsBassPlaya makes some really good points. It's not something I've ever seen at a wedding, so it would be weird to do for anyone in our area. But in some areas, supposedly it's the norm. Have you been to many weddings? Have you seen it? If not, I'd suggest not doing it. If people expect it and you want to do it, then I think MrsBassPlaya makes some really good arguments as to why people might like it - of course, no one is required to give a dollar or dance!

wcasar · July 2012

It's a little tacky, but tradition at my family weddings. Even most of my friends have had it. My FI & I agreed we will be doing it. I figure it can't hurt to get a little spending cash for the HM. Plus it gives people a one on one chance to dance with us who may not dance with us later.

smartlypretty · July 2012

I think dollar dances are one of those things that yes, they are techincally rude/against etiquette rules, but they are really common and downright expected in some areas/cultures. I know they are almost downright expected in a lot of Polish American families. Question is- are they always at every wedding in your circle? Are they downright expected? Will people get mad if there is no dollar dance? If you can't answer YES to all of these, don't do it. It's not something you want to pull out of no where.

I have seen one cute variation on the dollar dance. They placed cards at all the tables and instead of giving the bride a dollar, you had to write well wishes on the card.

Bierfrau · July 2012

It is definitely not a German tradition. And anyway, this is your wedding and you should do what you like. I could see it happening later at night when most conservative relatives left and only party people still hanging around.

QueerFemme · July 2012

Personally, I think the dollar dance is tacky. However, it IS tradition in my circle and everyone keeps asking us if we are doing it because they are excited. My sweetheart's entire family does the dollar dance, so they are all planning for it. I have had a 4 month conversation of how I don't want to do it, and my honey says "fine, you can sit there while I do it, and don't ask me to share my dollars with you".

I have finally caved and said I would do it. But, I don't want it dragging out for multiple songs. And I am going to have the DJ announce something like "If you have a dollar, or even if you don't... come dance with the happy couple" I don't want people to feel obligated to pay me for a dance.

cronin85 · July 2012

My FI cousin did it for her wedding last March and it was not a success at all... I dont think many people knew what the heck was going on lol. But if alot of people you know have heard of it and its not frowned upon then I say go for it!

loinmo · July 2012

They have had dollar dances at almost all the weddings I have gone to around here. I like your explanation MrsBassPlaya. Well said!

cinderellasjc · July 2012

The last wedding I attended where they had a dollar dance in this area was 19 years ago.
Although it may be common still in some areas, try to put yourself in your guests shoes. I know I would be thinking........ I gave them a gift at the shower, and a wedding gift.... now they want more money to dance with them.

Ravenclaw79 · July 2012

I've seen them done at almost every wedding I've ever been to.

I can see it both ways: Some people might think it's tacky, but also, it's a chance to buy a few moments of one-on-one time with the groom or bride, which is nice. I couldn't decide whether to do one and left it up to my FH.

npott044 · July 2012

I can't recall ever going to a wedding that did not have a dollar dance. I think they are fine as long they do not go on forever!!! We are doing one and we have a two song max on it. I have been to several weddings where they go on for like 6 songs and it sucks to sit around for that long.

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