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October 2012 Weddings
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thoughts on how to handle this?

cbear215cbear215 member
500 Comments
in October 2012 Weddings

One of my aunts has 3 kids, ranging from 18 to 24ish.  Her oldest and her youngest are both in relationships; I was planning on inviting them.  I called my aunt to verify their addresses and she left me a voicemail saying that she didn't think her kids' significant others should be invited as it was a family event and they would have more fun alone.  I really don't want to start any drama but I really don't agree with this.  If they decide they'd rather attend alone, that's fine but I think they should have the option.  I'm just not sure how to respond to my aunt without her thinking I'm disregarding her opinion and inviting them anyway.  Any suggestions?

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Re: thoughts on how to handle this?

  • kimm260kimm260
    500 Comments
    You can tell her that while you value her opinion you would feel rude not inviting your cousin's SOs.  If they chose to come alone thats fine but you wanted to give them the option of bringing their boyfriends.
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  • mrshall1027mrshall1027
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    Just tell her that etiquette dictates you invite people SO's and that you feel comfortable inviting them.  Also mentioned what you said above - if they decide not to bring them, then that's their decision.
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  • islandmonkey8islandmonkey8 member
    100 Comments
    I agree with PP. Invite them, leaving it up to them how they would have more fun.
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  • ericaandtom2012ericaandtom2012 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    I don't think you even need to tell her that you're inviting them, unless she asks (in which case either previous responses are fine).  You have their addresses, so address it to your cousin on the first line and then add the SO on the inner envelope (or the second line if you don't have inner envelopes).  
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  • snuff9861snuff9861 member
    1000 Comments
    Invite the SO's. Her "kids" are adults and can decide for themselves whether they wish to attend alone or as couples.
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  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    It sounds like her kids don't live with her so it's really none of her business how they're invited.

    I would invite your cousins with their SO and let them decide how much fun it would or wouldn't be to bring them.
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  • brainybrunettebrainybrunette member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    I agree with all the PPs...her kids are adults and etiquette dictates that everyone 18+ gets their own invites with a +1.  You are just following etiquette rules.  Let them decide if they want to bring a guest.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    500 Comments
    Sounds like perhaps she does not like kids SO's?
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  • cbear215cbear215 member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_thoughts-on-how-to-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:ae459052-befc-4a20-914c-2242191ae6cePost:ef441052-4608-47f3-9f23-60e0eb8ac72a">Re: thoughts on how to handle this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sounds like perhaps she does not like kids SO's?
    Posted by stephdi7971[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I actually think is exactly the issue.  UGH.  Thanks, ladies, I'm definitely inviting their SO's.  My cousins do actually live with her (she wants me to just send one invitation for the whole family) so I do want to address it with her beforehand so she doesn't think I'm ignoring her request(?).  I'll tell her as PPs suggested: that I'm not comfortable not inviting them and it's fine if they ultimately decide not to bring them.
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  • brainybrunettebrainybrunette member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    I would still send multiple invites to one house.  They are adults, and should have their own invitations with the +1.  I'm sending multiple invites to a few houses where my 18+ cousins are still living at home.
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  • cbear215cbear215 member
    500 Comments
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_thoughts-on-how-to-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:ae459052-befc-4a20-914c-2242191ae6cePost:72cb94d6-b19b-4cad-a7e6-5a56935fdcc2">Re: thoughts on how to handle this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would still send multiple invites to one house.  They are adults, and should have their own invitations with the +1.  I'm sending multiple invites to a few houses where my 18+ cousins are still living at home.
    Posted by Nic12184[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I'm going to.  I know etiquette says everyone 18+ gets an invite, and not only that but I think it's just so much more organized if they each get their own lol.
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  • brainybrunettebrainybrunette member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    Oh, ok...sorry that I misread.

    Sounds like your aunt really does not like your cousins' significant others!  
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