Wierd/WWYD

Re: Wierd/WWYD

• ralbro member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wierdwwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:62ee4843-4e51-419d-9173-55f8465ca48cPost:ceb19e7a-7aca-496b-9512-4ea63df53935">Wierd/WWYD</a>:
  [QUOTE]Background: So there is this guy R who is friends with several of my friends, and currently lives out of state but is in the reserves here so he comes down like once a month for his drill weekend.   I have met him several times but he is just an acquaintance, FI has maybe met him once, Issue: He is coming down for his drill weekend the weekend of the wedding and wants to know if he pays if he can come to the wedding because everyone he knows will be there.  I think: 1) it would be a little weird having him there and in pictures since we hardly know him, he is a very quiet shy guy so I know he wouldn't do anything crazy at the wedding but still, and 2) I know you should never make someone pay to come to your wedding- but I am not willing to pay for him to come when<strong> we had other friends we didn't invite due to costs.</strong>  I am not exaclty sure what to do.
  Posted by mary1217[/QUOTE]
  
  I think this is the main part that caught my eye. If you have other actual friends that didn't get invited, I think they'd be offended if they found out that someone you barely know was there. Him paying for himself doesn't really solve the problem - he may have just said that to get the invite and will also be offended if you actually have him pay to come. I would politely tell him that you're really sorry, but there's just no room on your guest list. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable seeing him there, knowing that he PAID to be there. I think it's ridiculous of someone to ask to do that, but I don't pretend to understand everyone or their situations. What if he paid and one of your other friends you couldn't invite found out? I think that would make them feel like if they had just offered to pay they could've been invited too.

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• w+c3 member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wierdwwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:62ee4843-4e51-419d-9173-55f8465ca48cPost:c4d53cb3-4b90-4524-9493-e6437e4cd1ab">Re: Wierd/WWYD</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Wierd/WWYD : I think this is the main part that caught my eye. If you have other actual friends that didn't get invited, I think they'd be offended if they found out that someone you barely know was there. Him paying for himself doesn't really solve the problem - he may have just said that to get the invite and will also be offended if you actually have him pay to come<strong>. I would politely tell him that you're really sorry, but there's just no room on your guest list.</strong> I certainly wouldn't be comfortable seeing him there, knowing that he PAID to be there. I think it's ridiculous of someone to ask to do that, but I don't pretend to understand everyone or their situations. What if he paid and one of your other friends you couldn't invite found out? I think that would make them feel like if they had just offered to pay they could've been invited too.
  Posted by ralbro[/QUOTE]
  
  This is where I feel I stand on the situation too.

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• brittandjp member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wierdwwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:62ee4843-4e51-419d-9173-55f8465ca48cPost:c4d53cb3-4b90-4524-9493-e6437e4cd1ab">Re: Wierd/WWYD</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Wierd/WWYD : I think this is the main part that caught my eye. If you have other actual friends that didn't get invited, I think they'd be offended if they found out that someone you barely know was there. Him paying for himself doesn't really solve the problem - he may have just said that to get the invite and will also be offended if you actually have him pay to come. I would politely tell him that you're really sorry, but there's just no room on your guest list. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable seeing him there, knowing that he PAID to be there. I think it's ridiculous of someone to ask to do that, but I don't pretend to understand everyone or their situations. What if he paid and one of your other friends you couldn't invite found out? I think that would make them feel like if they had just offered to pay they could've been invited too.
  Posted by ralbro[/QUOTE]
  
  Well said. I agree with all of this. :)

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• elidellio member

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_wierdwwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:62ee4843-4e51-419d-9173-55f8465ca48cPost:c4d53cb3-4b90-4524-9493-e6437e4cd1ab">Re: Wierd/WWYD</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Wierd/WWYD : I think this is the main part that caught my eye. If you have other actual friends that didn't get invited, I think they'd be offended if they found out that someone you barely know was there. Him paying for himself doesn't really solve the problem - he may have just said that to get the invite and will also be offended if you actually have him pay to come. I would politely tell him that you're really sorry, but there's just no room on your guest list. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable seeing him there, knowing that he PAID to be there. I think it's ridiculous of someone to ask to do that, but I don't pretend to understand everyone or their situations. What if he paid and one of your other friends you couldn't invite found out? I think that would make them feel like if they had just offered to pay they could've been invited too.
  Posted by ralbro[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>I completely agree. This is great advice!
  
  </div>

  
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• cmac3504

  

  February 2012

  I 4th ralbo

  

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• cu97tiger member

  

  February 2012

  Ralbo has it right. The only thing I'd think about, if I were you, is whether those friends of R's would actually want him there. Is there a single friend of R's that you invited with a guest? If they'd be willing to take him as their guest, then you end up even. Just a thought, but I think you are well within your rights to tell you are sorry but at this time you really cannot add any more people.

  

  
  

  

  
  

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• rachel801231

  

  February 2012

  I totally agree with everyone else. Plus he basically just asked for an invite and that's just rude to do!

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• mary1217 member

  

  February 2012

  Thanks ladies.   I don't think I am going to say yes.  It actually wasn't even him that asked me (shows you how close we are). Which also makes it easier to say no. 

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