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Rehearsal Dinner Questions

dori851dori851 member
Combo Breaker First Comment
in May 2012 Weddings
I've got some scenarios as far as who to invite to the rehearsal dinner & I need you ladies to help me :) *Note -- We are DEFINITELY inviting our parents, the wedding party + their dates, our grandparents, officiant, & guitarist.

1) We have an OOT couple, G & J, coming in from Maryland for the wedding. However, they are staying with their family members (not in the hotel) for the weekend. Their family members, M & L, are invited to the wedding as well. Do I just invite G & J to the rehearsal dinner? Invite all 4 of them? Invite none of them?

2) My grandparents (who ARE coming to the rehearsal dinner) are hosting an OOT couple for the weekend, D & J. Can I get away with just inviting my grandparents & not inviting D & J? Or do I need to invite them as well?

3) D & J, the ones who are staying with my grandparents, have their children, S & M coming in from OOT for the wedding as well. S & M are staying with my aunt (who is not invited to the rehearsal dinner). So, if I end up inviting D & J with my grandparents to the rehearsal dinner, do I need to invite S & M as well?

Sorry if any of that is confusing! I tried to make it clear! TIA for the help :)
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner Questions

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    amandad18amandad18
    First Comment
    If it were me, I'd either invite everyone from OOT, or no one. It's hard to exclude some and invite others without it looking weird/ rude.
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    csgmancsgman member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    I don't think there are any strict rules you HAVE to follow, but an easy one is to do all or none for OOT guests.  I think you also would be fine to invite D&J and no one else, though, since they are the only OOT guests staying with someone who is invited to the RD.

    FWIW, I think we are inviting only OOT guests who are staying at the hotel on the night of the RD.  Our RD is two nights before the wedding though, so there are only a few guests coming in that early and we have the space at our RD venue to include them.

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    LuckyHeatherLuckyHeather member
    First Comment

    I agree with PP, you can invite whoever you want.

    If I were making the decision, I would not invite G & J; invite D & J (since it will be awkward if they stay home while your grandparents attend); do not invite S & M...unless you invite the Aunt too.

    I am including all family (regardless of whether they are in the wedding party).  I'm not including OOT guests who are not in the wedding.  There will be too many.

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    toothpastechicatoothpastechica member
    First Comment

    My grandparents (who ARE coming to the rehearsal dinner) are hosting an OOT couple for the weekend, D & J. Can I get away with just inviting my grandparents & not inviting D & J? Or do I need to invite them as well?

    I would not invite any one from out of town formally, however since they are staying with your grandparents who are coming I might informally invite them or let your grandparents know that they can come and they can let them know that they can come but not to feel need to feel like they "ought to" or "need to" if they are comfortable with not coming. I would imagine that conversation going something like g'ma or g'pa saying "So the night before the wedding, we are invited to the rehersal dinner, theres food here, but you are welcome to come if you would rather since we wont be here". That way its not so much a YOUR inviting some oot and not others, but you are inviting your grandparents and allowing for the people staying at thier house to come.

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    mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I understand why you would want to include those few OOT guests, however if you extend the RD invite to some OOT guests it has to extend to all of them. 
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    bpphoto785bpphoto785 member
    First Comment
    Do you have other OOT guests? If you're not inviting them I wouldn't invite these three couples.
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