Wedding confusion?! legal wedding vs. wedding of my dreams?

Re: Wedding confusion?! legal wedding vs. wedding of my dreams?

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  2dBride member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  I think most same-sex couples do what you are talking about, if they live in a state in which such marriages are not recognized.  I know that we did it when we were married in 2009.  We had a very small ceremony with immediate family and very close friends (a dozen people total) in Massachusetts, and just took everyone out to lunch afterward.  Three days later, we had a much larger at-home evening reception in DC (which did not have same-sex marriage at the time).
  
  The general rule is that you can invite people to the reception who are not invited to the ceremony, but not vice versa.  And when you're dealing with a ceremony that is out-of-town, and not by the couple's choise, people understand just being invited to the reception.

  
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  LisaTaj member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_gay-weddings_wedding-confusion-legal-wedding-vs-wedding-of-my-dreams?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:44Discussion:fd39fce8-d9cf-47d6-9afa-e310fb423c88Post:c063f502-0c7f-4bfb-9f0d-ba221c312c26">Wedding confusion?! legal wedding vs. wedding of my dreams?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hey everyone! i need some suggestions here. i was planning on getting married on a friday in washington Dc, but i Live in west virginia and and all of my family live in indiana. Would it be acceptable toi have my immediate family come clear to Dc to see the wedding on a friday, and bring the back to west virginia on a Saturday for the huge wedding reception with my family and friends, even if some of those people didnt see the actual wedding? i am completely lost on were to even begin with all this, and the wedding was supposed to be this October... HELP?!
  Posted by MrsSpencer2510[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>Sharing my experience here, FWIW.  :-)</div><div>We got "pre-married" (aka legally married) in Iowa and decided to look at it as just that, pre-married, taking care of paperwork.  We just flew out by ourselves and did it.  YES it was special.  But we knew no one there.  We treated fabulously by everyone and it was very sweet.  But we wanted the fairytale wedding with the dress and the aisle and the family and friends, SOOO, that's our WEDDING which will end up taking place about 4 months after we got married in Iowa.  Our invitations say "request the honor of your presence at our wedding celebration" which is typical for a couple who elopes but wants to have a "real" wedding later.  Most won't know that and we don't care.  We aren't making a big deal out of it.  </div><div>
  </div><div>Best advice, do BOTH and make the legal one simple.  Why lend more energy and attention t our inequality by dragging closest family/friends to both?  Just tell them it's happening, let them throw you a **little** engagement party before or dinner party after to pat you on the back and give you hugs but make it clear your WEDDING is really going to be on X date and please, let's focus there.  The rest is just paperwork.    Hope this helps
  
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