Random question: Quickie marriages

agape1cor813 · January 2012

(I want to preface this by saying I'm not trying to nitpick other people's choices or be judgemental, I'm just trying to see if this is some kind of new "normal" or not.)
So, I can count five people I went to high school with (we are all in our mid-20s) who got married and divorced in less than a year. (And those are just the people I know about, there could be a lot more than that.) I find it so bizarre and sad.
Has anyone else seen anything like this among their peers? Or is what I'm seeing just strange and really outside the norm?

iamjoesgurl · January 2012

Any of my friends who are no longer together were married for at least 5 years. The ones I can think of who are no longer married were married young and because she was pregnant. It is so sad to see my friends go through divorce. Especially when kids are involved.

RebeccaJac · January 2012

Divorce trends show a decline in divorce mostly because couples are delaying marriage or just not getting married to begin with. It still hovers around 50%, so what you're seeing is probably normal.

I'm curious to see what the next generation does with this. Does divorce become easy and therefore as common as a break up, or do they recognize the damage they cause and dramatically decrease the # of divorces.

ElisabethJoanne · January 2012

Haven't seen too many divorces among my high school friends. I have seen out-of-wedlock births at the same rate as average, despite lots of "abstinence education" from lots of arenas when we were growing up together.

mrandmrsbrist · January 2012

Just two that I only know of because of Facebook. One was because of abuse, though, so I don't think that was her fault. It was really sad, though. They seemed perfect

DramaGeek · January 2012

I haven't seen many quickie marriages. My cousin lived with her husband for 5 years before they married in May 2007. She moved out July 2007 and their divorce was final Sept 2007.

What I have seen a LOT of is people getting pregnant and then getting married because of it, especially within the Christian church. It's actually kind of sad how prevalent it is.

BMcLeodTeam · January 2012

The numbers for this were REALLY high among the people I went to highschool with... many of them married right out of highschool, they often stay married for a year, or a year and a half, and then once a baby comes there is a divorce... its really sad

ochemjenn · January 2012

A girl I knew in elementary school has been married 3 times now, to two guys. She remarried one of them and is still with him now. He's the father of her second child. It's complicated, and she's only 26.

ravenray · January 2012

Hmm I know a lot of people who are married and I am sure they will be divorced at some point, but as of yet I don't know very many people who get in and out quickly. I think it is a sad trend through.

drama1308 · January 2012

I don't stay in touch with a lot of people from my high school, of the ones that I do, only 4 of us are married and have stayed married.

agape1cor813 · January 2012

So it seems like I'm one of the few who is seeing this. I will admit, many of the people I know who do this aren't Christians or not strong Christians.

I just think it's so strange that these really short marriages that you usually only see in Hollywood are starting to spill over into the average American lives. It makes me really nervous for the future, but it also makes me grateful for the relationship I have with my husband.

RyansBelovedBride · January 2012

None of my close friends have gotten divorced (since I've known them; I have a few older friends who have divorces in their past). I do know some peripheral friends that have divorced, but as I don't know them well, I don't know the situation or feel it's my right to speculate on it with barely any facts.

Speaking from the younger generation, what I see is millions of scars from divorce on the vast majority of the now-grown children of divorced parents. For some, that means prenuptial agreements and feeling "comforted" knowing there is always divorce, attitudes that really disturb me. For the majority of the scarred, it means an all out fear of marriage and therefore delaying commitment, fleeing commitment, and lots of cohabitation.

The divorce rate is now down to high thirties, low forties, by the way.

I think the majority of my generation (that I know) takes marriage very, very seriously... so seriously that many of them think that only the insane get married, because you shouldn't mess with something so serious.

They don't realize that the lack of commitment in parental relationships scars kids almost as much as divorce does, leaving them feeling home isn't a secure place.

Then again, many of peers are equally terrified of having children, so who knows?

MelissaC315 · January 2012

I've seen a little bit of it too but with classmates that married right out of high school. Those who waited until after college seem to be staying together at least from my graduating class.

naomikb · January 2012

I don't know of any. Although I am inclined to agree that quickie marriages often happen because a girl gets pregnant, of the people I know from high school who got pregnant without being married, they all had the baby umarried and got married a few years later (or didn't get married at all).

All of the people I know from school who got married are still married... anyone divorced are more my parents' age (aunts, uncles).

toothpastechica · January 2012

ive seen a bit of this...not a ton, but the ones i know about are all christians who all got married early - right out of highschool or shortly after (undoubtebly because of the whole dont have sex till ur married thing so they got married), and divorced within 2-5 years. Its sad. But the plus side is that the great majority of people i know who are getting married are waiting till they are a bit older (mid-late 20's) and who have developed as independet adults before making such serious commitments.

FaithCaitlin · January 2012

I haven't seen any but sadly I'm sure I will. I'm one of the first of my friends/peers to get married; it will be interesting to see what happens when everyone starts to tie the knot.

Bett2012 · January 2012

I heard that New Mexico is (thinking of?) bringing in an option to get a "2 year marriage certificate" where you can re-evaluate your status at the end of 2 years - do you want to renew? or do you want to split up without the complication of divorce court?

It's SO sad

agape1cor813 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_random-question-quickie-marriages?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:046cd6a3-2a8e-4f88-b4f7-07c9ccdbbf39Post:f8e1d4ca-c567-42ee-a30b-c3bd3e15816f">Re: Random question: Quickie marriages</a>:
[QUOTE]I heard that New Mexico is (thinking of?) bringing in an option to get a "2 year marriage certificate" where you can re-evaluate your status at the end of 2 years - do you want to renew? or do you want to split up without the complication of divorce court?
Posted by Bett2012[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wow...this is so sad and scary for how the general population views marriage.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm flabbergasted.

</div>

Random question: Quickie marriages

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