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Second Weddings

My house is on the market :(

It's kind of sad.  I think I shed a tear the other day.  I've lived there since 2004.  I owned it, lived there alone the past few years, put my self through graduate school.

We knew for about a year that when we got engaged this year that I would move into his house.  It just makes sense.  His house is much bigger, newer, nicer.  I don't even have a room in my house big enough for his tournament sized pool table.  Plus this house is where I lived with my ex (and continued to live after I bought him out).  Not sure if that was a factor or not, but it's just a small little old bungalow.

BUT it's on the river, 0.35 acres, all these mature trees!  I've put tons of effort into making lovely xeric scaped gardens.

I'm trying to list all the PROS of his house.  He does have mountain views from all sides (because there are no big trees in the way!), much more room, better heating, it has A/C, nicer hardwood floors.  He has nicer landscaping that my house, but it's all weed ridden and needs major work.  I look forward to restoring the yard to it's intended beauty.

Also, when I do sell my house, I can use the profits to pay off my student loans.  I will be 100% debt free.  Then I can put all my salary into savings and retirement to catch up since I was in school. 

Renting it out wasn't an option since I'd be falling $200 short a month because I cannot rent it for what my mortgage is.  Financially it doesn't make sense to keep the house.

I know it will just take time to get over it.  I was just very familiary with my place.  I remember not feeling like it was home when I first got there, so with time our current house will feel more like home.  It is really nice to come home to fiance though.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

Re: My house is on the market :(

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My FI had a similar experience.  He sold his house and moved in with me a few months ago.  However, he wasn't as emotionally attached to his place as you seem to be to yours.  His place was bigger, but he says he'd always intended to buy smaller (downsize) the next time he moved, so it has not been a big deal.    He has a much shorter commute and ... well, there's me.  :)

    I'm sure it will take time.  Be sure to plan to take along one or two significant pieces of furniture.  That will help.  FI brought his sofa and recliner, his desk and TVs (LOL!) and the transition has been smooth.

    Hang in there!  Think about the fact that you're making money on the deal, something very few people are able to accomplish in this market.  Good luck!
  • ginadogginadog member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Lisa! 

    As of now I have a short term renter in my house for 7 weeks. I left all my major furniture in my house for her to use.  So I'm getting 1/2 the mortgage + utils.  If I weren't engaged, I would still be at my house sharing it with her.  I figured I can go without it for 7 weeks, but it will surely help with the familiarity feeling when it's over at our house.  This will give us time to paint the spare rooms, organize, etc.  His house was not fully furnished so my stuff will complete the rooms.

    Thanks for the reminder (re: profit)!  I  have to remember that I am fortunate at a time when things are very hard for others.

    What are ou guys doing about ownership?  It doesn't make sense to refi to get me on the mortgage (he just refied), but we are thinking we'll get me on the title after marriage.  Should something happened to him, then I would still be owner of the house.
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    I haven't figured it out yet.  It will likely be to put him on the title (as long as that doesn't impact the mortgage) immediately following the wedding.  I need to get started on a will (which I should have already done, I know).  Thanks for the reminder.

  • ginadogginadog member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    From what I've gathered from my Wells Fargo lender, it doesn't affect the mortgage to add someone to the title, but the title company is who you'd have to go through to make changes.
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_house-market?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:c44fd8bf-26ed-4771-abfe-79eb8faac7fcPost:741a5701-3915-4e6e-9ec7-428fa0296ac4">Re: My house is on the market :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]From what I've gathered from my Wells Fargo lender, it doesn't affect the mortgage to add someone to the title, but the title company is who you'd have to go through to make changes.
    Posted by ginadog[/QUOTE]

    Cool.  Thanks!
  • edited December 2011
    I hear ya, girl.  Giving up my house was incredibly difficult!!! 

    I currently have renters in my house.  I cannot even tell you how many times I cried before I left.  I dragged my feet for months.  I bought it by myself while I was also putting myself through grad school.  I closed right after my divorce was finalized.  I remodeled it completely from top to bottom.  It was walking distance to work.  Perfect.  It was the first time I'd lived by myself.  I was living alone for the first time while dealing with the heartbreak of a divorce, it really helped me cope and become a new person.  I felt truly independent so leaving was incredibly hard. 

    All I can say is that is did get easier as I moved inand remodeled FI's house.  I still dread my commute to work and miss my daily walking immensely, but the more we do here, the more I like his house.  I have been living here since March and I am really beginning to get use to it and feel like it is now our house.   It was definitely a hard transition, but well worth it to be with FI in the house his son knows and the place where the dog can run and run and run to his hearts content!    Good luck.  It is not easy, but I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
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  • edited December 2011
    I think it's always hard to move from your "healing place"

    (((HUGS)))

    I'm sure you'll feel better when you start making his house your house, too.
  • edited December 2011
    I can relate! I purchased my home after my divorce, with my own money (no settlement) and have lived here for almost 9 years. I have for the most part raised my son here. My husband has a home and we are working now on mine so we can rent it or sell it in the next year. We were married last fall and were supposed to move in together this summer.

    There is much to be done and it is going a lot slower than expected. My husband and I still officially live apart, because I live so close to work and my son's school. BUT still are together every night at one house or the other, but all my "stuff" is still here. His house in only 10 minutes from mine.

    I can relate to how you feel. I know the adjustment will be tough when I move in with him.
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