cake question

betsyray85 · December 2012

My FI and I are having a cookie table and ice cream bar in addition to a cake at our reception. Am I obligated to have enough cake for all the guests, hopefully around 140, or would it be acceptable to just have a small 2 to 3 tiered cake? Neither of us are huge cake fans, which is why we are having the ice cream bar.

Peledreamsofrain · December 2012

If you have several people eating cake, you have to make it available to all your guests. Otherwise you create an elitest, privilaged class of 'better' people at the event, which doesn't go over well.

A cheap option would be to have a small tiered cake to cut for pictures, then serve sheet cake for the guests that is plated behind the scenes. Nobody will notice or care that it didn't come from the little cake.

LuckyGirl1713 · December 2012

Make sure you have enough cake for everyone. The best way to do this is to have a small 2 or 3 tier cake and have a sheet cake in the kitchen that is the same flavor. None ofyour guests wll know the difference as long as they get the piece!

kmmssg · December 2012

Agree with the others. Don't let your feelings about cake dictate what to order. The cake is my favorite part of the food at the reception! I say that so you realize that many look forward to it.

When you have an assortment of desserts, people will take more than one. Order cake for everyone.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

Honestly nix the cookie bar and ice cream bar and do only cake. Generally those special dessert tables go to waste. There's so much food on them and it never gets eaten. A cake would feed everyone and you'd get a piece to take home. You're not going to be able to take home left over ice cream from an ice cream bar. (No one is generally impressed with those types of things anyway). I feel mostly people are generally pleased with a piece of cake.

AddieCake · December 2012

I love cake, so I would be pissed if I somehow didn't get my slice.

betsyray85 · December 2012

Thanks for the mostly helpful input! I thought about having sheet cakes in the back to serve from, but just wanted to see what the general consensus was. Sheet cakes in the back it is, with a small cake on display to cut. Eliminating the ice cream bar and cookies are not an option, OwningAHome1981. If my guests were to show up at my wedding and not see ice cream, they would be worried I was kidnapped. A cookie table is also a Pittsburgh wedding tradition that I intend to keep. Trust me, I'm not doing these things to impress my guests.

courtski2004 · December 2012

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d267a2f7-b0d6-443e-bb18-6abdfc043c4bPost:ab889c97-c8be-4c0c-8c0b-83915457be57">Re: cake question</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly nix the cookie bar and ice cream bar and do only cake. <strong>Generally </strong>those special dessert tables go to waste. There's so much food on them and it never gets eaten. A cake would feed everyone and you'd get a piece to take home. You're not going to be able to take home left over ice cream from an ice cream bar. (No one is <strong>generally</strong> impressed with those types of things anyway). I feel mostly people are <strong>generally</strong> pleased with a piece of cake.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

You <strong>generally</strong> give terrible advice and make ridiculous assumptions.</div>

freebread03 · December 2012

In Response to Re:cake question:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cake question:Honestly nix the cookie bar and icenbsp;cream bar and do only cake. Generally those special dessert tables go to waste. There's so much food on them and it never gets eaten. A cake would feed everyone and you'd get a piece to take home. You're not going to be able to take home left over ice cream from an ice cream bar. No one is generally impressed with those types of things anyway. I feel mostly people are generally pleased with a piece of cake.Posted by OwningAHome1981You generally give terrible advice and make ridiculous assumptions. Posted by courtski2004[/QUOTE]

Agree. Yeah, just like you should send a gift if you receive an invite. Some people should be banned from giving advice to others. Thank goodness there are so many level headed posters who are up on etiquette and give normal advice to counteract the likes of OAH1981.

mcda04 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d267a2f7-b0d6-443e-bb18-6abdfc043c4bPost:2d2985d5-1144-4760-a768-3b118664b34a">cake question</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I are having a cookie table and ice cream bar in addition to a cake at our reception. Am I obligated to have enough cake for all the guests, hopefully around 140, or would it be acceptable to just have a small 2 to 3 tiered cake? Neither of us are huge cake fans, which is why we are having the ice cream bar.
Posted by betsyray85[/QUOTE]

As others have said, have enough for everyone. You'll be surprised; in my family, NOBODY likes cake, the day of our wedding, it was gone in 2 seconds. Almost everyone had some.

Peledreamsofrain · December 2012

Yeah... Not sure where the weird judgementalness over the ice cream bar came from. I think it would be awesome to see at a wedding.

betsyray85 · December 2012

Thanks everyone for sticking up for me and my ice cream, and pointing me in the right direction for the amount of cake!

kmmssg · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d267a2f7-b0d6-443e-bb18-6abdfc043c4bPost:900f6100-cd6c-439e-a67f-6d1f4b058429">Re:cake question</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the mostly helpful input! I thought about having sheet cakes in the back to serve from, but just wanted to see what the general consensus was. Sheet cakes in the back it is, with a small cake on display to cut. Eliminating the ice cream bar and cookies are not an option, OwningAHome1981. If my guests were to show up at my wedding and not see ice cream, they would be worried I was kidnapped. A cookie table is also a Pittsburgh wedding tradition that I intend to keep. Trust me, I'm not doing these things to impress my guests.
Posted by betsyray85[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My DH and I would be so happy at your reception. He is a cookie and ice cream fiend and pretty much could care less about cake (I eat his piece at weddings) and I adore cake. I think you have a good solution going now.

</div>

betsyray85 · December 2012

snippet17 Giant eagle is actually high on my list of potential places to contact, as I really enjoy their carrot cake and want that in addition to another flavor. I don't want the display cake to be anything elaborate, as I don't want fondant, so I'm going to look into having them do all of the cakes.

daria24 · December 2012

Pretty sure NOT having a cookie table would cause a riot in PA. I've never seen a single crumb left on the cookie table. The weddings I've been to with an ice cream bar, fewer people do usually use this just because they aren't aware to save room. So maybe pass the word around. And definitely have enough cake for everyone, maybe even have boxes or sleeves available for people to take a slice home to get rid of the extra cake.

QueerFemme · December 2012

We had a cookie and dessert table, in addition to our wedding cake, and it did NOT go to waste. We had take-out boxes, and people were loading up on those things !!

Sharpschruter22 · December 2012

ICE CREAM!!!!!! I would do this at my own wedding if I could afford it. Yumm! Great plan!

mlg78 · December 2012

I would suggest the take out boxes as they were previously mentioned. Cookies are always yummy to munch on on the way home and, as my best friend would say, they're alcohol-absorbing...ha!

I agree with the ice cream especially since you're not a fan of cake. Keep the cake for the crowd but you have to make yourself happy because, afterall, it is YOUR day!

Jen4948 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d267a2f7-b0d6-443e-bb18-6abdfc043c4bPost:ab889c97-c8be-4c0c-8c0b-83915457be57">Re: cake question</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly nix the cookie bar and ice cream bar and do only cake. Generally those special dessert tables go to waste. There's so much food on them and it never gets eaten. A cake would feed everyone and you'd get a piece to take home. You're not going to be able to take home left over ice cream from an ice cream bar.<strong> (No one is generally impressed with those types of things anyway).</strong> I feel mostly people are generally pleased with a piece of cake.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

Wrong. I and plenty of other people I know are impressed with those types of things. Don't generalize about that.

OP: If you do serve any cake, you do need there to be a piece for everyone.

[Deleted User] · December 2012

Your dessert plan sounds awesome and delicious! My FI would be all over that.

For our wedding we're having cake, groom's cake, mini desserts (cheesecake pops, chocolate covered strawberries, lemon bars, etc.) and an espresso cart.

Maggie0829 · December 2012

Definitely have enough cake for everyone. I love cake and ice cream so needless to say I would be taking my slice of cake over to the ice cream bar and adding a scoop or two LOL! Oh and the only time I am not "generally" impressed by dessert tables is when they aren't there

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