Open Letter Wednesday?

kinmir30 · March 2011

Forgot to do this yesterday.....so thought we could do it today. Why not?

Go!

mgoss228 · March 2011

Dear Skin,
I know it has been super cold FOREVER, but can you please not be so freaking dry? I swear there is not enough lotion in the world to moisturize you!
Love, mgoss

Dearest FI,
Figure out your ring size already! You have been putting this off for over a month... it's always "I'll do it next weekend." Just get it done, so not hard, we already know what ring we want to order online, but we need to make sure your ring will fit! 9 weeks to go, YO!
Love, your impatient FIe

GMs and BMs who have yet to RSVP,
What's keeping you from mailing your RSVP? You're in the WP and there is already a stamp on the d@mn envelope. Do it already!
Yours Truly, Bride who LOVES seeing the little green envelopes in the mail bin

abrieckinthewall · March 2011

Dear Scale,
I know the common phrase states "Bigger is Better" but this is definitely not the case. This is more along the lines of "Less is More." I know you feel proud, thinking your winning showing a number 17 pounds higher than when FI and I first started dating. but if you really, really want to win, you will go down. Please.
Thank you,
the evergrowing bride

Dear Phones,
I know, I know you must love the way I hold you and speak into your "ear." But please, please can you not ring so much. It is a crazy day as it is without having to answer 70 calls by lunch time. and I know you can do worse than that. Just don't. and ease up a bit?
Thanks,
because I'm ready to hang up

jales · March 2011

Dear Every Food That Is Good In Life,
I will miss you dearly. Unfortunately I have 150 days to shed 30 pounds and tighten everything up before this wedding and honeymoon. I have already accepted most likely wont happen, but damnit I'm gonna try. Thanks to FI and his stupid diet/exercise program, from now on I will be focusing on eggs and celery. I will try to visit you once in a while for dinner, but after today, you are pretty much dead to me. I love you, and will see you in July.

Dear Weather,
I just want to play some freaking golf already. Please stop snowing, raining, and being windy. It's March now... March = golf. I have a handicap to improve.

Dear FI,
If you are going to talk me into planning a wedding with 5 months notice, you need to contribute. Going "uh huh" or "yeah I will" when I ask you about doing stuff (get your brith certificate, fill out passport app, and oh yeah- GET ME YOUR GUEST LIST), is not an acceptable form of communication. Work with me here.

(Okay i'm done... it's one of those days).

MacPanda · March 2011

Dear final 5 RSVPers,
Please respond to me and FMIL already. You're way late and this isn't a "casual" just show up type of thing. It would be kind of nice to know if you're coming. And on that note, you should come because too many other people of FI's have declined. He is getting sad. I want the people he cares about to be there to celebrate with him.
~Concerned future wifey

Dear seating chart,
Could you please just magically make yourself. Mmm, K, thanks! ~Busy bee

Dear Pile of work,
I know I should be working on you right now. The fact is, I just don't want to. There are so many other more important things to be done and you just keep getting bigger and bigger. Stop growing and start finishing yourself. Maybe you and the seating chart can have a working lunch together. ~Brain is out to lunch bride

EMTmommy · March 2011

Dear FI,

WE DO NOT NEED MORE MEAT! If you come home from Safeway with any type of meat whatsoever, you will have NOWHERE to put it. If you buy 60 pounds of meat from Costco, you do not need to continually buy it every other week.

Sincerely,

Jam-packed freezer

Dear B%*$ of America,

Thanks for lowering my credit limit just before I planned on using my card to buy my wedding gown! You totally did that on purpose, you spiteful, terrible company. I'm going to quit you ASAP.

- Frazzled Dressless Bride

Sharingourlove · March 2011

Dear Customer Service Reps at Nordstroms;
While I realize that everyone may have a bad day, but both of your attitudes when I called with a simple question, and refusal to answer the main one, really doesn't say a lot for the "Nordstroms Experience" that you promote of "great customer service". If I didn't like my dress so much I would seriously consider returning it because of the customer non-service I received today.
Sincerley, A seriously ticked off customer!

Dear FI;
I love you with all my heart, but please help me work towards a fitter me and get your coat off the exercise bike and stop hiding the Wii board under boxes. Think how much more fun our honeymoon will be with both of us in better shape...

Your loving wife-to-be

Reilly2Be · March 2011

Dear FSIL,

It would be really nice of you to include my name on the envelope of the birth announcement and not just your BIL's name. We've been living together for almost 4 years and engaged for almost 1 and I'm not going anywhere, so be polite and include me because I always include you when I address envelopes.

Sincerely,

Don't be rude

Dear FMIL,

I love you and I couldn't ask for a better FMIL but I really don't want you at my bachelorette party! I know you want to be included but I really want this to be with the "Younger Generation." I really hope you can understand because I don't want to hurt your feelings!

Love,

Your favorite

Dear Dairy and Gluten,

Why do you have to make me feel so sick! I love you but I'm done with the stomach aches

All I want is a piece of cake and a nice glass of milk! Ugh!

Always & Forever,

The Permanent Paleo Dieter

zoiesmurf · March 2011

Dear FI,

I'm super happy you want to help my stress level by offering to take over some of the projects, but if you are going to offer, please do the ones I ask. Don't procrastinate and mock me for how "early" I am trying to get things done. You are the one who wanted a wedding in the middle of freaking holiday season(!) so procrastinating is not an option. It also does not help the stress level.

Love Always,
Your Frazzled Bride-to-be

Dear Manager,

I understand that it makes you unhappy when you're boss is condescending to you, and that you find it unnecessary and rude, so please try to keep that in mind when speaking/leaving notes for me.

Thank you,
You're Increasingly Pissed-off Employee

Dear Dairy and Gluten,

I have discovered now that I have given you up, that I really an allergic to you, which is sad enough, but why must you be in ALL pre-packaged foods? It would make it much easier to cheat the scale b*tch if I could buy prepared diet meals like most other normal people trying to lose weight. If you could allow me something that will not make me miserable and help in my race against time, that would be great.

Thank You In Advance,
You're Very Sad Gluten and Dairy free eater

Dear Scale,

I know that you have found your favorite hangout and really don't want to leave it, but I promise you that you can make new friends around the 140 mark. I promise.

Yours Truly,
Frustrated Dieter

kinmir30 · March 2011

Dear Gas Prices,

What the heck is going on with you?!?!? $3.50 already!!!!???? That is enough already. It's time to go back down.......please?!? Don't you know that FI and I are trying to save any ounce of extra money we get to pay for our honeymoon? .,.......and now we have to put all of that into the dang gas tank!!! Stop going up every day! Trust me, everyone will be much happier if you instantly drop back into the $2.50 range. Thanks!

Sincerely,
Bride desperately trying to save money!

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