Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

Quick question

WMSKTFWMSKTF
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Our date is either the weekend of May 2, 2014 (Friday, Saturday, or Sunday not sure yet) or a tiny, immediate family and minister wedding sooner. Like May 2013.

If we went with the tiny family wedding, this is my question...

My mother wants to still throw my a bridal shower. I think it is rude to invite a person to a bridal shower and not the wedding. That's like saying "You're not important enough to come to wedding so I just want you to buy me something." My FSIL said they could throw me a house-warming shower instead, but I'm still iffy on accepting that offer because I feel like people would ask why they weren't invited.

What would you do in this situation?

Report Reply to Post

Re: Quick question

  • Options
    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:150216e6-c161-4fcc-b802-ba27d240dca7Post:a082af31-67f3-48c8-aa20-0862b5dfc6b5">Quick question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our date is either the weekend of May 2, 2014 (Friday, Saturday, or Sunday not sure yet) or a tiny, immediate family and minister wedding sooner. Like May 2013. If we went with the tiny family wedding, this is my question... My mother wants to still throw my a bridal shower. I think it is rude to invite a person to a bridal shower and not the wedding. That's like saying "You're not important enough to come to wedding so I just want you to buy me something." My FSIL said they could throw me a house-warming shower instead, but I'm still iffy on accepting that offer because I feel like people would ask why they weren't invited. What would you do in this situation?
    Posted by WMSKTF[/QUOTE]

    <div>Anyone at all invited to pre-wedding events such as showers and bachelorette parties needs to be invited to the wedding.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I've never heard of a house-warming shower, and it just sounds like a way to try to get around the rule of inviting guests.  I would decline that.</div>
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    WMSKTFWMSKTF
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:150216e6-c161-4fcc-b802-ba27d240dca7Post:94f4d01f-3b2f-4230-8712-6d9aac5796fb">Re: Quick question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Quick question : Anyone at all invited to pre-wedding events such as showers and bachelorette parties needs to be invited to the wedding.  <strong> I've never heard of a house-warming shower, and it just sounds like a way to try to get around the rule of inviting guests.  I would decline that.</strong>
    Posted by Beachy730[/QUOTE]

    In my area, house-warming showers are common. They are typically thrown for the couple after a wedding once they purchase their first home.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:150216e6-c161-4fcc-b802-ba27d240dca7Post:d9b10917-827d-451d-9e8d-75890e2a4b49">Re: Quick question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Quick question : In my area, house-warming showers are common. They are typically thrown for the couple after a wedding once they purchase their first home.
    Posted by WMSKTF[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm from the Atlanta area, but I've never heard of this.  It's not uncommon to do housewarming parties, but you don't register for those.</div><div>
    </div><div>Anybody invited to something associated with your marriage before the wedding needs to be invited to the wedding.</div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    WMSKTFWMSKTF
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:150216e6-c161-4fcc-b802-ba27d240dca7Post:e9b05b07-efe0-48da-a002-fe4a5e49769b">Re: Quick question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Quick question : I'm from the Atlanta area, but I've never heard of this.  It's not uncommon to do housewarming parties, but you don't register for those. <strong>Anybody invited to something associated with your marriage before the wedding needs to be invited to the wedding.</strong>
    Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

    The shower would take place weeks after the wedding.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:150216e6-c161-4fcc-b802-ba27d240dca7Post:bccc8c0a-3545-4b34-892e-c0f537d73759">Re: Quick question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Quick question : The shower would take place weeks after the wedding.
    Posted by WMSKTF[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>But, even though it's after the wedding, it's so close to the wedding that it DOES sound like trying to get around the rule of not inviting people to a wedding shower if they aren't invited to the wedding. Skip it.</div><div>
    </div>
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Don't invite anyone to a bridal shower that isn't invited to the wedding.  Simply decline the offer of a bridal shower.

    Housewarming showers seem nothing but gift grabby.  I'd pass on that too.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Ditto the PP's on the pre-wedding showers.  Anyone invited, needs to also be invited to the wedding.

    Have you recently bought your first house?  I've been to housewarmings before.  Although most people bring a bottle of wine or something as a gift, and not actually anything for the house. And you wouldn't register for a housewarming.  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    WMSKTFWMSKTF
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-question-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:150216e6-c161-4fcc-b802-ba27d240dca7Post:99d0cf5c-b923-4cb0-82e0-33d9a28aada8">Re: Quick question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto the PP's on the pre-wedding showers.  Anyone invited, needs to also be invited to the wedding. <strong>Have you recently bought your first house?  I've been to housewarmings before.  Although most people bring a bottle of wine or something as a gift, and not actually anything for the house. And you wouldn't register for a housewarming.  
    Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]</strong>

    We closed on our first home in April but we are remolding it and won't be living in it until we are married. It's an older farmhouse and needs some TLC. In our circle of family and friends, a housewarming shower takes place when the couple purchases their first home and move in it. And also in our circle, presents are typically the same as a bridal shower and no one ever registers for them. Everyone is different I guess, but that is how we do things.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    arendivaarendiva member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    When FH and I bought our house a few months ago we threw a housewarming BBQ. I didn't expect people to bring gifts (I certainly didn't register) I just wanted everyone to see the new house. People did bring gifts but that wasn't the point of the party. I guess my point is it's okay to have a housewarming party if your objective is truly to show people your new house. If you're doing it for the gifts than you should skip it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards