Do you ever feel...

AlwaysABridesmaid... · March 2010

like people don't care about your wedding? I know that it is obviously not going to be as a big of a deal as for anyone else as it is for FI and I but seriously. Every wedding I have been in I have been more then enthusiastic to do everything with the bride and help out. I was always the first to put my deposit down on my dress, go to trials, help with crafts...etc. Almost all of my bridesmaids forgot that they were supposed to put their deposits down on their dresses by this weekend. When I mention something to do with the wedding (which is not often) people change the subject to something about themselves and I invited some people to my makeup trial this weekend and got emails back with no response but a totally different topic. I don't care if they dont' want to go but at least acknowledge that I asked! I just feel like I don't have any sort of support system. I got my veil and hair flower in the other night and I put it on and I was so excited I started to cry. I went to call someone, ANYONE to share my excitement and then realized that most likely none of them would answer the phone. I love my friends and family and they are all really great, but I just don't understand. Thanks for listening girls!

jwatts23 · March 2010

I felt like that at times throughout the planning. Being younger (24) I was the first to get married and I think it was hard for people to understand what you are going through unless they have been in the situation. It's hard but keep your head up. Sending you good vibes!

snoangel79 · March 2010

Sorry to hear that you are feeling unsupported!! We are here so please vent if you need to!!

jonchrissy · March 2010

It is very hard when people aren't around to support you! I'm sorry you're going through this. I feel ilke with friends, especially depending on the stage their in, they might not get it if they've never been throught it, or they've already been through it, they might just be tired of it. Vent away!

MandahGirly · March 2010

I feel like FI's family on the whole are super super excited for this wedding (First grandson to get married on his Dad's side, and 2nd on his Mom's side, but the 1st wedding no one went to cuz his cousin got married on St. Thomas I think), but when it came to my family, I feel like no one cares! FI's family returned their RSVP's sooooooooo much earlier than my family, and every time I see them they say how excited they are, but I get nothing from my family - I'm still waiting for RSVP's from my ENTIRE mother's side. UGH! I am glad that I have very supportive friends though, and my bridesmaids rock! I'm sorry you are going thru that though, but I feel your pain

Knottie6cd98948dcce890b · March 2010

Always, I feel the same way. I have one of my BMs who is always there, but the rest could care less. They never answer emails and when I do see them, which is rarely, they don't ask about planning etc.

When I do ask then directly about planning etc, they tell me its too far off to plan and change the subject (498 days).

erickskd · March 2010

That's why we're here! We care! Side note: where did you get your hair flower from?

Knottie6cd98948dcce890b · March 2010

Any advice for engaging BMs?

CCBelle · March 2010

Yes, I definitely felt that way at times during my planning. I also felt like guests (and sometimes DH's family) viewed it as a huge inconvenience. It was as though the Cape was on the other side of the globe! So you are not alone... people just get very wrapped up in their own lives and it's hard for them to recognize how important your wedding is to you and FI.

EKobrenski · March 2010

That really stinks....this is why the knot exists though! Vent and dish away!

My BMs have all been really good the whole time, but I have noticed that once I got past 6 months, everyone is getting much more excited and involved. My mom was not into it at all until a couple of months ago. FMIL has been pretty good, but stuff like this is kind of her thing. I would wait a little bit, I bet people will start to get caught up in it!

MeaghanandMichael · March 2010

I was lucky that I had friends that were super excited for every little thing. Mike's guys were a bit harder to get going (getting tuxes was a nightmare), but the real trouble I had was with my mom. She and both my sisters eloped to get married and we have no family so she had never planned a wedding before. Once she learned what to do she really got into it though so maybe people just need to get excited in their own time, you know?

AlwaysABridesmaid... · March 2010

Thanks ladies. I am feeling a little bit better.

erickskd- I got my hair flower on Etsy and I love it!

erickskd · March 2010

That's what I figured, from what seller? I've been perusing this week!

amberdawn77 · March 2010

Like Erickskd said, WE all like to hear the good news

I can't talk wedding stuff with too many people either. I don't mind though; when I was single I was jealous and didn't care about hearing it. Now I LOVE it, haha. You've got a captive audience

As for family, I know they love, they're just all single so I remember how that was. So long as they get along with Adam I'm happy. I'll do the planning and make it a nice day with awesome food and they can just enjoy the reception instead of hearing how I agonized over which table clothes they're eating off of, haha.

jquirke9881 · March 2010

I think before I had planned a wedding I may not have been super interested in all of the details of somebody elses wedding. Now that my wedding has past, one of my BM's is getting married, and I am obsessd with hearing about it and I am super excited about it. I think I just didn't understand how to be excited about pale pink BM dresses and matching shoes and whatever else... now I do.

AlexaGrant · March 2010

(Not saying that you don't do this, but) I have been trying to make sure that when I talk to my BMs that I talk about their part in the wedding and not just all about myself and what I'm doing. I started a wedding blog and I realized some of the stuff I was interested in might not be interesting to my BMs so I made sure to do a post featuring my BMs with pictures and descriptions of them.

Maybe instead of inviting them to your makeup trial, you ask them what kind of makeup style they want for the wedding. Or include them and give them a makeup trial, too.

People like to feel appreciated and important - they also like to talk about themselves. Allow them that opportunity when it comes to your wedding. Maybe your BMs have some issues like jealousy or resentment at the attention you are getting - preempt the tension: feed their egos! Make them feel like this is their day, too, and they may show more interest.

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