Seating of the parents & grandparents during ceremony

Re: Seating of the parents & grandparents during ceremony

• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2013

  1) No, in a Christian ceremony, which I assume is what you're having, the mother of the bride is escorted by a groomsman, usher, or another male relative.  She's the last one seated.  Then the father of the bride escorts the bride down the aisle.  At a Jewish wedding, both parents escort the bride.
  
  2) Seat them separately and don't have the walk down the aisle together.
  
  3) You could have a groomsman or usher escort your grandmother if you like.  But I do think you have to at least acknowledge your grandfather's wife as his wife if not your grandmother, and I would have her escorted too for the sake of politeness and avoiding the appearance of pettiness.

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• AddieCake member

  

  February 2013 edited February 2013

  My grandfather was my only living grandparent at the time and my husband's grandparents could not attend, so we didn't do "seating of the grandparents." I have never seen the father of the bride escort his wife and come back. I have only ever seen the mother walk herself or be escorted by a son or usher. I wouldn't have your fiance's mom and step dad walk together if they are no longer together. She would be escorted by an usher or other son or male relative or walk by herself. They don't have to sit anywhere near each other, or they can choose seats in the same row but a few seats apart. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• Jenni8412 member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to Re:Seating of the parents :[QUOTE]1 No, in a Christian ceremony, which I assume is what you're having, the mother of the bride is escorted by a groomsman, usher, or another male relative.nbsp; She's the last one seated.nbsp; Then the father of the bride escorts the bride down the aisle.nbsp; At a Jewish wedding, both parents escort the bride.2 Seat them separately and don't have the walk down the aisle together.3 You could have a groomsman or usher escort your grandmother if you like.nbsp; But I do think you have to at least acknowledge your grandfather's wife as his wife if not your grandmother, and I would have her escorted too for the sake of politeness and avoiding the appearance of pettiness. Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]
  
  I agree with answers 2 and 3, but I believe there can be more leniency with the Christian ceremony referenced in the first answer.
  
  We were married in a very small area which allowed my father to escort his mother, my grandmother. Then he walked back down the side while my brother escorted my other grandparents, and was then able to escort my mother. The procession of the bridesmaids gave him plenty of time to get back and have a few moments for hugs and such before he walked me up the aisle.
  
  I believe that most adults can walk to their seats without the need of an escort. But if one is provided, it can simply denote how "VIP" they are... or it can be an opportunity for an intimate moment for the guest and escort to share. Example: dad's mom was whispering to him about her excitement as he escorted her to her seat.

  

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• Tami87 member

  

  February 2013

  1) Up to you and the officiant. Some people have Mom escorted by an usher, groomsmen or male family member. Sometimes mom walks alone. Some have mom and dad both escort the bride. We had my dad escort my mom then loop around (Catholic wedding). I had three bridesmaids and a flower girl before my dad and I went so even though it was a big church my dad made it back fine and I have great pictures of my parents walking in together that I love.
  
  2) I would seat them separately and let them walk in separately. Again you can have MOG walk escorted by a male family member of her choice, groomsmen or usher or alone. I would have Step-dad walk in alone after MOG.
  
  3) No you don't have to have grandparents process in if you don't want. We chose not to because H's grandma has trouble walking and one of my grandfathers is not Catholic or really religious at all and he didn't feel comfortable processing in. It meant enough to me that he was just willing to show up even though it made him a little uncomfortable so of course I wasn't going to force him to walk when he didn't really want to. We got all the grandparents boutonnieres or corsages, included them in pictures and in the program and called it a day.

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2013 edited February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_seating-of-the-parents-grandparents-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:adadf919-7606-4a98-afbe-9f23d5f13e58Post:9b06b11c-0d73-4cee-b517-8fd337b511ca">Re: Seating of the parents & grandparents during ceremony</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Seating of the parents & grandparents during ceremony : Sorry, but how on earth does who walks mom have any bearing on whether a ceremony is Christian or secular?  I have been to many Christian ceremonies where the mom was escorted by her husbad, who then went back for the bride, and many secular weddings where the mom was escorted by an usher or a groomsman.  
  Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  
  My point wasn't that it was Christian or secular, just that it's different from a Jewish wedding.  But the non-Jewish weddings I have experience with have had the mother of the bride escorted by someone other than her husband.  There can be variations, but this procedure is what I've read is pretty standard etiquette.

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• erinw13

  

  February 2013

  Thanks ladies you all have been very helpful!

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2013 edited February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_seating-of-the-parents-grandparents-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:adadf919-7606-4a98-afbe-9f23d5f13e58Post:0b31b09a-e326-42e5-bd67-0c6d15c85ed8">Re: Seating of the parents & grandparents during ceremony</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Seating of the parents & grandparents during ceremony : And yet, you specifically said "if it is a Christian ceremony".  How many groups can you marginalize with a single post?  What you meant was "unless it is a Jewish ceremony" apparently, right? So, would you say "if it's an African American Wedding..." when what you really meant was 'unless you are having a Hindu wedding"?  See the difference? You also spoke with utter authority that this was how Christian weddings were, period.  That also wasn't the best approach, since what you meant was "this is how all the weddings I personally have been to have been, except for Jewish weddings."  
  Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  
  I also said "there can be variations."  You apparently missed that.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2013 edited March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_seating-of-the-parents-grandparents-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:adadf919-7606-4a98-afbe-9f23d5f13e58Post:30dd3663-b138-47a1-9dd0-8b10c7f9fc8a">Re:Seating of the parents</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Seating of the parents : I see nothing in this post about how there can be variations. Also, the point is that you make it sound like being a CHristian ceremony is the reason for that type of seating. And that's what rubbed me the wrong way.
  Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  
  I'm not going to feed any trolls.

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