know what I want..is there a more stressless....

Re: know what I want..is there a more stressless....

• handfast4me member

  

  June 2012

  As far as planners, and all that, you might want to check out the local boards, to your left <----------
  
  As far as the rings go, I would focus on the engagement ring, worry about the wedding band later.  Let me guess.  You're going to the big stores for jewelry.  Stop. They're there for a sale, princess cuts can be more expensive, so they start thinking about their commission.  Try a smaller, family owned business.  Or get recommendations for jewelers on your local board. 
  
  We did it fairly stress free in that we (I was 48, he was 39, my second marriage, his first) told everyone we were getting married, and the entire thing was planned, but we went to Key West, and were married ont he beach, just the two of us.  It was a "wedding" because it was our legal ceremony.   The size of your guest list does NOT determine if you had a "wedding" or not.   
  
  If you want the big reception, with everything, that's your choice, and you will have the accompanying stress.  AND the bills.  The average wedding and reception costs 26,000!   That amount of money seemed ridiculous to me, and because my husband is an introvert, it just made sense to do it very privately.  Also, we were able to write our ceremony and say things to one another that we would not ahve if there had been an audience. 
  
  This is all your choice; stress, or not.  Big money, or not. 

  Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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• Lisa50 member

  

  June 2012

  I agree with handfast ... it's up to you.  H and I wanted to have a ceremony and celebration within a set budget.  Once we set the budget, we took our time and did things exactly the way we wanted.  It's been almost a year and we still talk about it all, remarking that we would not change a thing.

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• scorpio407

  

  June 2012

  Thanks ladies for your helpful suggestions!
  
  Because my fiance is EXTREMELY introverted, private, shy & a workaholic, I'm trying to respect his needs of possibly being overwhelmed on his day & keep our day intimate. Plus I have very few close friends & a tiny family which is why our ceremony will be at best 20 people or less depending who actually attends. We hope his mom will be able to attend if she's here from their country.
  
  I've been looking at all styles of rings in bridal magazines, online & browsed a few local  'expensive' jewelry stores (at his suggestion) & yes their prices are either above the ring budget or just not what I want to wear on my finger for the rest of my life! Just like it's said about the wedding gown search applies to my ring search: "when I find it...I'll just know it's THE one". I've gone back to the drawing board of choosing different cuts of diamonds similar to the princess cut as alternative options. 
  
  We are both budget conscious yet at the same time I can't argue with my future husband's decisions if he chooses to spend over. After all, it is his wedding day too plus if he wants something added he can afford the extra cost if it's spent on making our day special to us. We are both willing to compromise on details when it comes to cost. I also prefer to have a plan A & a plan B to avoid any disappointment if our first choice just isn't physically possible to obtain or not worth the added expense. I keep seeing ideas that focus & add up extra budget costs to make sure your guests have a better time at the wedding than us: the 'happy' couple. I want our friends/family to share in our union but we don't see the need to party, feast or go crazy like it was a Spring break pool bash!
  
  Again, thanks for your feedback! Will continue to do my homework, stick to what I envision for our day & not settle for what vendors want to offer just to make a 'sale' 

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• Kristin789 member

  

  June 2012

  Coordinator:  Get one.  Then you and FI can focus on the real meaning of the event - maybe even schedule a meeting with your officiant to get this underway.
  
  Ring:  Stop going to big name stores in the mall or whatever.  Go to a diamond wholesaler.  We did, and got the ring exactly 50% of what the mall stores were wanting.  And stop fretting or feeling weird that you are picking out your own ring.  My DH spent about six visits to jewelry stores and considerable time on the internet trying to figure out what was true and what are complete lies about diamond shopping.  Then I volunteered to take over the hunt, and actually went two days with my mom, who knows much more about buying high end jewelry than I ever will, and WE found my ring, which FI and I bought the next day together without my mom.  I make no apologies for that process.  It's unusual but it worked great for us.
  

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• FSForever member

  

  June 2012

  We did our ring shopping similar to Kristin. No apologies. I got the ring I wanted and he actually re-proposed at the jewlery store when he put it on my finger. 

  Now about the "no spring break pool bash"! Lol we just booked our condo for our HI wedding and the reason we pick a ground floor was to be near the pool and so our guests could come to our "pad" for drinks. Hey we are older but we can party too! 

  You mentioned that you are both very budget concious. You may not need a WC if you are having a small wedding and you want to keep tabs on deals that you may make with vendors. 

  We are having 18-20 guests for a Maui wedding and we have gotten some amazing deals that I believe we would not have if we used a WC. I just don't think they work the best price because they have vendors that they are used to using. Check the budget thread and your local. They will all have ideas to get you started. 

  Maui DIY bio!

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• Leo379 member

  

  July 2012

  I agree. My ring both engagement and wedding band were basically designed for me. I also had my fiance's ring designed for him. There is no other ring anywhere like ours. That we got what we wanted. We went to a small, family owned jewelry store. They worked with each of us and designed our rings for us. Took a little longer but definitely worth it!

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• HomesickGypsy

  

  November 2012

  In Response to know what I want..is there a more stressless....:
  Posted by scorpio407[/QUOTE]
  
  You might look at some "estate jewelry" for sale and see if you can find a picture of what you're talking about. A picture may be worth a 1,000 words.

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