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Would it be absolutely horrible to turn down

Rosie24Rosie24
500 Comments
in New Jersey
being in a bridal party?

W/O going into details, ifyou have ever done it, how?!
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Re: Would it be absolutely horrible to turn down

  • alliecarrie41alliecarrie41 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    no.  it would be worse to be IN a BP and not want to be there. 

    tell the truth.  why don't you want to be in it?  it's kinda hard to give advice without details. 
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  • hcer0708hcer0708 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have never done it but i would rather the person be honest from the begining then to say yes and drop out right b4 the wedding.  I wouldnt feel horrible if i had vailid reasons..
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  • yankees320yankees320 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If it's a financial reason, then perhaps you can offer to help in a way that won't require so much $$$...hand out programs, bubbles, help with DIY, etc.  But again, kind of hard to advise without more details.
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  • Rosie24Rosie24
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would NEVER willfully drop out of one...haha.

    I didn't ask any of my friends to be in mine bc I didn't want to be in anymore, I hate bp drama, and to be honest....I think it is really silly and a financial burden. I had strictly my 3 sisters and 1 cousins.  I didn't involve anyone in anything AND am so happy I didn't. 
     
    Without going into any specs.....My one very close friend from grammer school and I drifted significantly a part while I was planning my wedding for really ridic reasons. She apologized for whatever and we are still close and I am helping her with whatever she needs done. She just asked me and I am totally caught off gaurd. 
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  • 30may09bride30may09bride
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I would just be honest and say while you are very happy for her and want to be there for her on her wedding day, that you would rather do it in a capacity other than BM.  It sounds like one of those relationships, where if saying no impacts it negatively, it isn't a huge loss.  One of my best friend's brother just got engaged, and she has to break it to him and their mom that she has no desire to be a BM again.  It isn't easy, but sometimes you have to do what's best for you. 

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  • kewltifkewltif member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would probably say yes... I have sucka written all over my face though.
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  • alliecarrie41alliecarrie41 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    i assume she came to your wedding, but was not in your BP?  not that this is quid-pro-quo at ALL, but that should tell you that your gut reaction is right.  i would say no.  just say no.  being a guest is enough.  why in the world would you want to be in a wedding, which is one of the greatest money sucks and headaches ever, vs. being a guest who can just show up and have a nice time for someone you don't even consider yourself that super close with anymore?  no-brainer imo.
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  • Rosie24Rosie24
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yea,well when I told her how I felt she sounded hurt...this is all ridiculous. She didn't get it. I mean I even told her that since I was thrown so off gaurd I needed to think about it. How bad is that?! I was EXTREMELY hurt by her but moved on from it....there was too much to do to dwell on it. That doesn't mean I still feel the same towards her as a friend though and I really just feel I am in a bad position.
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  • Rosie24Rosie24
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Allie---this is how I feel exactly. I hate being in bp. I really do. All my friends got to enjoy my wedding as guests (which was my absolute intention) and I am inclined to be in the bp for theirs. I just want to be a guest....lol!
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