Not Having Alcohol At Reception?

Carson386 · August 2012

Alight, I made the decision to not have alcohol at our wedding reception. First off, we are getting married in the morning. Second, certain people that are invited have serious issues with alcohol (they drink way too much and are out of control when they do). My third reason- We don't have the money!! It was an extra $2500 to have a cash bar. We are providing plenty of other drinks free of cost to everyone- a variety of soda, 2 types of punch, water, coffee, and tea. Now FMIL is upset that we aren't having alcohol. I explained my reasons to her which only upset her more. Mind you, we did not ask for any money from her or anyone, and she has not offered to help (which is fine, I understand it's my day not hers). Anyone else not having alcohol at their reception?
--We also have some guests that say they will not come beause of no alcohol.

turtleslove · August 2012

I toyed with the idea for those exact reasons, but gave in for a cash bar since that won't cost us extra. If alcohol is more important to someone than sharing the day with me and FI I wouldn't want them there anyway. Weddings are no longer traditional, and wedding etiquette has become subjective. Make it what you want and go for it, you already know people will not agree so just decide ahead of time how you will handle it.
Best of luck!

Danny&Mel2003 · August 2012

I think it's preference. I prefer alcohol but I don't have any family or friends who are invited that have alcohol issues to begin with. Just remember your money, your wedding, your way.

DivaJenD · August 2012

While I would never personally consider having my reception alcohol-free, I can totally see where you're coming from and your reasoning... And anyone who would be angry with you for deciding to have no alcohol is completely off base. I think your FMIL is being unreasonable - especially if she's not contributing $$ to the wedding (she therefore has no say-so). She can certainly voice her opinion, but I disagree with the anger.

I can't imagine telling someone I won't go to their wedding because they're not serving alcohol. I find that completely ridiculous and unbelievably selfish and inconsiderate. I know it may be tough, but if someone is willing to skip out on your special day simply because they can't get liquored up, they're probably not worth having there.

Annas2013 · August 2012

We're having alcohol, but we're just doing beer and wine because it's cheaper. And I didn't want to do a cash bar. If they're common where you're from, then go for it. Also? Liquor at our wedding, with some of the people invited, just seemed like a bad idea.

There is nothing wrong with having a dry wedding. Especially in the morning. We almost ended up having one to save money, but my parents decided they wanted to pay for the alcohol. If your FMIL wants alcohol, then she can pay for it. And for anyone that says they won't come, that's their problem. It's not your fault they're rude.

rswans · August 2012

I'm not having a dry wedding, but a few of my friends did. Even though some people were a little bummed when they found out, everyone still attended and had a blast, so I wouldn't worry about it.

monikaedwards · August 2012

In Response to Re:Not Having Alcohol At Reception?:[QUOTE]I'm not having a dry wedding, but a few of my friends did. Even though some people were a little bummed when they found out, everyone still attended and had a blast, so I wouldn't worry about it. Posted by rswans[/QUOTE]

This.

shano06 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_not-having-alcohol-at-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:eb80b09e-ec06-48a7-9fe2-f64b6283603bPost:68a071fa-4b81-42d4-8eef-37349ab17fe5">Not Having Alcohol At Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Alight, I made the decision to not have alcohol at our wedding reception. First off, we are getting married in the morning. Second, certain people that are invited have serious issues with alcohol (they drink way too much and are out of control when they do). My third reason- We don't have the money!! It was an extra $2500 to have a cash bar. We are providing plenty of other drinks free of cost to everyone- a variety of soda, 2 types of punch, water, coffee, and tea. Now FMIL is upset that we aren't having alcohol. I explained my reasons to her which only upset her more. Mind you, we did not ask for any money from her or anyone, and she has not offered to help (which is fine, I understand it's my day not hers). Anyone else not having alcohol at their reception? <strong><font color="#ff0000">--We also have some guests that say they will not come beause of no alcohol.</font></strong>
Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

If people dnt wanna come to your wedding because of no alcohol, then they shouldn't be there in the first place as PPs said. If you cnt afford it, then dnt stress about it. You and FI getting married is more important than alcohol. So they can be there to support you beng united as husband and wife or they can just stay home and drink. We are putting a $500 tab on our bar, and when the tab runs out, its going to a cash bar. I've never heard of a cash bar being $2500.! I wouldn't have been able to afford that either. Our cash bar is only $75.

Carson386 · August 2012

Thank you everyone!! I definitely realize that if their drinking is more important than our wedding, they really shouldn't be there. It's sad to think that there are people in our families that won't show up just for that reason but, that is their choice.

ptobias45 · August 2012

We aren't having alcohol at our wedding either. And for the same reason as you: that we have some family members who would be out of control. It's your wedding...do what YOU want.

FLGatorGal88 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_not-having-alcohol-at-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:eb80b09e-ec06-48a7-9fe2-f64b6283603bPost:d899021a-ea15-4b4a-8d2e-4ebf7e8a505c">Re: Not Having Alcohol At Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not having a dry wedding, but a few of my friends did. Even though some people were a little bummed when they found out, everyone still attended and had a blast, so I wouldn't worry about it.
Posted by rswans[/QUOTE]

I also agree with this... If people don't want to come to your wedding because your not serving alcohol screw em!!! The nerve of some people....

pittpoint1119 · August 2012

We are having alcohol at our wedding. I would never think to not have it, but that is everyones own choice. I know I would NEVER have a Cash bar. Either open bar with beer/wine or all acoholic drinks or in nothing in all. Just because people say they wont come doesn't mean that they won't. Make sure you still invite them and let them chooser. If they come it will be for dinner or in your case brunch/lunch and then leave.

monikaedwards · August 2012

Huh?

bburkel · August 2012

If they really want drinks that bad, they can tailgate from the back of their cars. (ok, so maybe that only happens in MN and WI) I know both our families would probably come up with that option if there wasn't booze at the reception.

SSaltzman87 · August 2012

I understand you having a dry wedding since it'll be in the morning. That's really shitty that you actually have people saying they won't come if it's not served, it's appalling really. If they don't come, it's their loss not yours.

lgoin1 · August 2012

Boo hiss at people not coming to a dry wedding. How moochie! It's you and your FI's day. Have a blast, dry or not. I'm having alcohol because... well, I just want it. But if I wasn't, and I had guests who wouldn't come because of it, I wouldn't bat an eyelash.

augurey · August 2012

FI and I aren't having alcohol.

FI didn't want it. I didn't care either way. My mom wanted and was going to pay for it (which we were going to do since she wanted it there).

But in the end, I ended up talking my mom out of it as out of everyone who will be there, only a handful will drink.

It was $2.25 per person + tax & 17% gratuity for bartender alone + 90/police officer (we would have to provide our own liqour & beer ran at about $150/keg). I realize it's much cheaper than some pay, but my mom probably would have paid about $1000.00 just for maybe 20 people to drink out of (at the time when the guest list was about 220).

So, we're having a dry wedding (and yes, my dad actually yelled at me about this, the importance of alcohol at a reception and why it'd be rude not to have it).

abbyandmatt51 · August 2012

I can't believe that someone would say to you that they wouldn't come to your wedidng if you didn't have alcohol. That is RIDICULOUS.

I completely agree with the other ladies. Do what you want, don't serve alcohol if that's your perogative. If they can't handle an event without alcohol, maybe they need to re-examine their priorities.

Carson386 · August 2012

I think that by certain people saying they will not come without the alcohol has definitely proven to me that they really do have alcohol issues. I think that by threatening to not come, they thought I would change my mind but, it really just proved my reason to not serve any.
The people that say they aren't coming are the ones that can't just have a few drinks, they have to keep drinking and they are not friendly when they drink. Sad it's turned out this way but thank you everyone for your kind words.

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