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Question about dinner at the reception

malliemae2malliemae2 member
First Comment
in Second Weddings

Hi,  I was needing some advice so thought I'd post this and see what you all thought.  I am getting married next year.  This is my third, (yes third) marriage and my fiance's second.  I had a big wedding the first time and a smaller, but nice wedding the second time.  My fiance was married at the courthouse his first time, so he never had a traditional wedding.  We have a beautiful venue picked out.  It's a bit pricey but we love it.  It will be in August and very hot.  We were thinking of having an evening wedding, like say 7 pm.  It will still be light out but will not be in the heat of the day.  Since it would be late, we wondered if we would still have a dinner.  People wouldn't be eating until about 8 pm.  Would it be rude if we didn't have a dinner and either had a desert bar or finger food so that they had something to nibble on, but not have an actual dinner?  We will probably have 70 people attend.  I just don't know if we should have it earlier and have a buffet dinner in the heat, with not much shade at this place, or have an evening wedding while the sun is going down.  I'm willing to go either way.  Have you ever been to a wedding that didn't have a full dinner? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

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Re: Question about dinner at the reception

  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    Welcome to the Second Wedding board!

    When I married my husband in August 2011, it was his 3rd marriage, so no need to feel you have to explain.

    The general concensus here on the Knot amongst posts for brides with timing/food questions talks about whether the time of the food service will be "dinner time". That varies from place to place, but keep in mind that people attending will be getting ready, driving to your ceremony, then waiting for your reception. The "getting ready and driving time" can cut into their normal evening meal time.

    If you have appetizers and desserts, it will probably need to be enough to constitute a meal sized portion, and appetizers and desserts can be more expensive than a buffet because they are more labor intensive than simply cooking a lot of food in an oven. Someone has to take the time to assemble 8-12 appetizers per person. If your question is not about price, but simply what people might want to eat in the evening in a hot northern California venue with little shade, then I think yes, appetizers might be the best option.

    You could always rent a tent, but it sounds like the venue is already expensive. Is there an indoor option if it rains, or are you just outside with no shade or cover? You also don't mention what other activities will be part of your reception. Are you having dancing and a bar, or simply hosting a post-ceremony meal with visiting then people would leave? If alcohol is involved, you will need to provide enough food for people to eat to absorb it.

    Maybe a bit more thought about the time line would help you with your decision? When is sunset?

    Welcome, and looking forward to hearing about your plans!
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  • malliemae2malliemae2 member
    First Comment
    Thanks for your response and for your welcome.  Yes there will be a bar and dancing.  That is why I want to have something for food so that they can eat and drink.  I just didn't know if it was right to wait until 8 - 8:30 for a meal and if that was making them wait too long. or if I assume they have eaten beforehand.  If I do go ahead and do a full buffet, it will probably be something light, nothing too heavy for that late at night.  Yes you're right that people will be getting ready and driving to the venue around 6 pm so that's typically when dinner is. 

    I don't want to get married in the middle of the day. Temps at that time of year can well be over 100 degrees.  I chose this day because it is my late grandmother's birthday so it's very sentimental for me to get married that day.   We have the venue until midnight -1 a.m so having a late wedding would be ok. 
    Smile
     I look forward to reading posts and getting ideas from others. 
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I like the idea of a light buffet.  Even if you were clear with your guests that the reception would be apps & dessert, indicating the need to eat an early dinner, they would eat between 4:30 & 6pm.  By 10 pm (halfway thru your reception) they will be hungry!

    Better to let them snack at home & have a late light supper at the reception.  ~Donna
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