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Attire & Accessories Forum

Is it normal to be scared!?

I am frightened to look for a wedding dress.
I am trying to slim down for my gown. So, being too large is one thing.
Another is dealing with the opinionated Mother I have. Trying to please everyone when I all I want to please is myself and my groom. I don't want to be rushed. I want to be able to have some time off to go look but I am the odd man out of my friends/family. Everyone I know has weekends off and I dont. I dont know how we are going to coordinate time to go together when Ill have to ask off and Im the one paying for this wedding. AH! I am super stressed. What is a good time to go look, and how far in advance do I need an appt, and when do I who is important to bring with me!? AHHHHH!!! I am making this more difficult than it needs to be. :-/
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Re: Is it normal to be scared!?

  • Why not call and make an appointment for a week day while you're off, go by yourself and take your time looking around to get a feel for what you like.  When you've got several dresses narrowed down, you can make another appointment for a weekend day that works for the people you want to bring and they can be there for the final decision?   I agree that you should take your time and I also understand how having people waiting for you to find the one can put a lot of pressure on you or make you feel rushed.   

    I personally didn't include anyone at all (even my mom) in my dress selection/fitting process.  I just feel too self conscious trying things on for people and I trust my own taste and didn't want other opinions.  I love my mother very much, but I have body image issues that I am more self conscious about when she's around and I didn't want to deal with that.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-normal-to-be-scared?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:b438800f-f568-4a3b-bebf-832d62d8aeefPost:fe478351-eef7-41ed-aa55-0d6d8cd68826">Re: Is it normal to be scared!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why not call and make an appointment for a week day while you're off, go by yourself and take your time looking around to get a feel for what you like.  When you've got several dresses narrowed down, you can make another appointment for a weekend day that works for the people you want to bring and they can be there for the final decision?   I agree that you should take your time and I also understand how having people waiting for you to find the one can put a lot of pressure on you or make you feel rushed.    I personally didn't include anyone at all (even my mom) in my dress selection/fitting process.  I just feel too self conscious trying things on for people and I trust my own taste and didn't want other opinions.  I love my mother very much, but I have body image issues that I am more self conscious about when she's around and I didn't want to deal with that.  
    Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

    Nola has some great advice. I went by myself too, actually I would have taken my mother but she lives to far away. But, I loved getting the opinions of the strangers around me. They were unbiased because they had nothing at stake. Good luck, try not to let this stress you it should be a happy time. And in the end you have to wear the dress that makes YOU feel beautiful, not everyone else.
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  • I agree with pp!  If at all possible, go by yourself!  I took too many people when I went dress shopping (FMIL, MOH, and two bridesmaids, Mom was sick so she didn't go).  I got overwhelmed by all the opinions and I ended up buying a dress that I didn't even like because everyone else liked it so much.  Fortunately, the dress shop let me switch it out for a different one.  Go by yourself and the only opinion you will be influenced by is your own. 

    I would also suggest not making a decision on the first day you go out.  Even if you find a dress you love, give yourself 24 hours to think about it.  If possible, take a digital camera and have the salesgirl take a picture of you in the dress.  Use the picture to help you make up your mind.  Only buy the dress if you absolutely love it and you think you will never find anything better.
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  • Yyou ladies are all very helpful. I aprreciate the feed back.
    I don't know if I like the idea of going by myself. Maybe if I just take one person with me during the week that I totally trust and then go back later? Its such a big huge important part of such a big huge important day. I don't want to make the wrong choice.
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  • Ditto NOLA. I had a large group that wanted to come with me (10 people total) and I only wanted 2-3 tops. I ended up at a sample sale to get over my nerves about trying on dresses and found my dress there. I had a few of those girls come to fittings so they could feel included but I have no regrets about going alone. 
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  • Just go by yourself, especially since it seems like the idea of your mother being there is just stressing you out.

    At the end of the day you're the one wearing the gown and apparently paying for it so the only opinion that really should matter is your own.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-normal-to-be-scared?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:b438800f-f568-4a3b-bebf-832d62d8aeefPost:7ccd562e-5d74-432f-9365-e71395c95efc">Re: Is it normal to be scared!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yyou ladies are all very helpful. I aprreciate the feed back. I don't know if I like the idea of going by myself. Maybe if I just take one person with me during the week that I totally trust and then go back later? Its such a big huge important part of such a big huge important day.<strong> I don't want to make the wrong choice.</strong>
    Posted by TiffanyDevor[/QUOTE]

    This is going to make me sound like a B, but your most important choice definitely won't be your dress.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-it-normal-to-be-scared?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:b438800f-f568-4a3b-bebf-832d62d8aeefPost:e98a7784-928d-4b2e-b4e9-021960a60bcd">Re: Is it normal to be scared!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it normal to be scared!? : This is going to make me sound like a B, but your most important choice definitely won't be your dress.
    Posted by JoeAnne2013[/QUOTE]

    No, that's ok. I understand. I get that. I just personally want my dress to be perfect. I got image issue and I am very hard on myself. I just want the process to be quick and painless.
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  • I'm getting married the weekend after you and I know how you feel. I am totally terrified about trying on dresses because I'm plus sized but I know I'll find a dress that is going to make me feel so beautiful. I can see from your profile pic you are such a beautiful girl. Try not to be too hard on yourself and just have fun. No matter what, your FI won't be able to take his eyes off you when you are walking towards him and that is the most important thing. Good luck
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  • Try on dresses by yourself on your day off and then see if the shop can stay open late on a weeknight so all your friends and family can come with you after work. Tons of shops will extend sale hours if they think you're serious. 
  • I have a mother like you it sounds like. She envisioned me in a giant ball gown and I don't want that at all. I didn't actually bring her along to my appointments. I didn't feel that I needed that. Everyone doesn't need to be at the appointment. Maybe people who can't be at the appointment make sure they are at a fitting or something.
  • I went alone too. And my consultant found my dress She suggested it after I tried on a few that were what I thought I was looking for. The one she brought, I didn't even want to try on, but she talked me into it and it was the one I chose. Afterwards, I took my matron of honor and a bridesmaid to see it, and they both loved it.

    You can always show others later, but it isn't a bad idea to scope things out alone. And my consultant knew what she thought would look good on me, and it did. Sometimes it's the impartial people with the best opinions.

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