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how to communicate one event of wedding weekend at guests' own cost

afossafoss
in Wedding Invitations & Paper

We are planning an intimate destination wedding in California wine country. We would like to include all events of the wedding on the invitation and response card. We are covering all expenses of the wedding weekend except for the group wine tour. Is there a tasteful way to have guests understand on the invitation/response card that this one event of the wedding weekend is at their own cost?

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Re: how to communicate one event of wedding weekend at guests' own cost

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    No, there is no tasteful way to do this. If the wine tour is part of your wedding reception so to speak, then you need to foot the bill. Would you host a party and ask people to pay for their food, etc? I don't think so. The same goes for weddings and receptions.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think it would depend on when in the weekend it occurred.  If it were on the day of the wedding, yes, I would expect it to be hosted, and there's really no way to communicate that it's not.  But if it were something like before the rehearsal dinner or the day after the wedding, I think word of mouth will suffice, or maybe a link to the tour on your wedding website.  Would you have to organize the booking yourself, or can the people who choose to participate do it directly?
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    Events you are not hosting do not belong in your wedding invitation in any manner.  You should inform people of this by word of mouth and say something like "we are planning to go to XYZ wine tasting, you're welcome to join if you like."
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    If you do OOT bags, you can do a list of "local attractions" and things to do in the area. I'd list the wine tour and the cost on that.
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  • vsgalvsgal member
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    My H played a show with his band the night before the wedding.  There was a cover at the door because there were 3 other bands that needed to get paid.  We did not put anything on the invite.  We spread the details of the show via word of mouth and on our wedding website.  People that wanted to come out showed up, but it was not a mandatory part of the weekend.  We did put the cost out there so people would have cash to get in the door.
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  • lexandfablexandfab member
    100 Comments
    I wouldn't put it on the invitation at all. If it's not technicaly a part of the weding it doesn't need to be on there, include it on your website and word of mouth.
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  • hanson2Bhanson2B member
    10 Comments
    I would think you could do something like this:  Say something like "the following events will be included" and then list all the other events.  Then leave one line blank, and after that, say "There will also be an optional wine tour."  Even if it messes up the chronological order, that's okay.   And if you're making them pay for it, then obviously it has to be optional -- you can't force them to pay for it.  But that should help them understand that this is not part of the "inclusive, paid package".
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  • saranash6901saranash6901 member
    10 Comments
    I would list all the events that you ARE hosting together:

    Event #1 at 3:00
    Event #2 at 5:00
    Wedding Ceremony at  X:00
    etc, etc

    Then leave a space and say something like:
    There will also be a Wine Tasting Tour available at X:00 on Friday evening.

    At this point, I think you've made it clear that this will not be hosted. You COULD add "the cost for the tour will be $X", but I think that's bordering on tacky. You could also include a line like "please contact XYZ Wine Tours Company to make your reservation." Obviously, when they call, the company will make the money issue clear. Another option would be to direct your guests to your wedding website for events info. You can get into greater detail there.

    And btw, I don't think that just because you're having a destination wedding that you need to host your guests for every second that they are in town. I see absolutely nothing wrong with organizing a fun activity like that and leaving it up to your guests whether they'd like to pay and go along or just relax and skip it. I would be happy to pay for something like that if I were a guests.
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