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Coworker invites....

cynnamon79cynnamon79
First Comment
in New York
I've only invited my three closest coworkers to both the wedding and the reception. There's a few others that I would have loved to have, just didn't have the space and budget for. Would it be rude to offer them to come to the church for the ceremony, even if we can't have them at the reception?

There's an older one in particular, in a position above me, who I work closely with and who's followed me through the process and been there for my venting, offering advice along the way. I'd love to give her the details for when the ceremony is, in case she'd like to cut out of work with the other girls to come watch (it's a friday afternoon wedding). Is it rude to offer her and possibly others these details when they're not invited to the reception? And how could I go about sharing the info with her in a kind way?

(She realizes she's not invited to the reception, because I've had complaints to her on some problems I experienced in that department). I just don't know if she realizes she's welcome to come to the church without the invite.

Thanks!!
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Re: Coworker invites....

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    kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes it's rude.  This is a P&R and I don't have time to write everything else that should be said here, but I'm sure one of the other girl's will pick it up. 

    You can also post this question on the etiquette board. 
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    sbolger17sbolger17 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, you can't really invite people to only part of your wedding day without coming across as rude.  Like they're good enough to come to the ceremony but they aren't good enough to join you for the real party.  (I know that's not how it seems in your head, but that's how it can come across to others.) 

    And I'd try to stop talking about it at work as much as possible so feelings aren't hurt.  Most people understand that there have to be cuts to guest lists and that co-workers are the one of the first things to go, but no more venting to them and chatting about details!
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    lornarose07lornarose07
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    DON'T post this on the etiquette board... they'll rip you a new one LOL you can, however, read one of the many posts similar to this on that board and see the responses. At any rate, it IS bad etiquette and may come across as rude to be invited to one but not the other. Besides, you never know which one of these people might show up to your ceremony and then just casually tag along/follow everyone to the reception and then you'll have an bigger problem. I agree with PP, try your best not to discuss with anyone at work or else they'll feel entitled to an invite that they aren't getting, and you know once the wedding is over, you still have to face these people everyday at work. HTH, although I know it's not exactly the answer you were looking for.
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    emieroseemierose
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    edited December 2011
    If she's been there for you along the way, and good enough to witness the most intimate moment of your life (thus far) - your vow exchange, then ante up the 40 or 50 or so dollars  and pay for her to come to the reception as well.
    Otherwise put this idea to rest and just bring in your album after the fact to share some of the pictures. She will understand. It is rude to invite her to half, not all of your wedding. not ok at all.

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    DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sooo you have a woman that you work very closely with and who knows small details thus far on the wedding and has offered her advice and has suffered through all your venting and yet shes not invited to the wedding?! That in and of itself is rude, but now you want to tell her she can come to the ceremony b/c its free but shes not worth the extra money for the reception?

    Quite possibly the most rude thing Ive ever heard. I think you should post this on the Etiquitte Board b/c you deserve a nice rump ripping.

    I ran to 1 coworker with all my wedding details and woes and she was the very first person (after family) on my list. Asking her to come to just the ceremony makes you rude, selfish, and inconsiderate. Might as well just slap her across the face. Its basically what youre doing anyways.

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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    kks4471kks4471 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Yikes, I agree with the PP.  You should definitely stop talking about it at work, and seriously invite that one coworker to both the ceremony and reception.
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    kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_coworker-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:621Discussion:a997c1ce-7050-49f7-bf87-dd2bb4e4ab7ePost:74e00a77-2db7-46e7-92fd-99b4f321677a">Re: Coworker invites....</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>DON'T post this on the etiquette board... they'll rip you a new one LOL </strong>you can, however, read one of the many posts similar to this on that board and see the responses. At any rate, it IS bad etiquette and may come across as rude to be invited to one but not the other. Besides, you never know which one of these people might show up to your ceremony and then just casually tag along/follow everyone to the reception and then you'll have an bigger problem. I agree with PP, try your best not to discuss with anyone at work or else they'll feel entitled to an invite that they aren't getting, and you know once the wedding is over, you still have to face these people everyday at work. HTH, although I know it's not exactly the answer you were looking for.
    Posted by lornarose07[/QUOTE]

    ruined my fun.  lol
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    raes19raes19 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_coworker-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:a997c1ce-7050-49f7-bf87-dd2bb4e4ab7ePost:70911771-97e5-47c5-ad80-9e167f920608">Re: Coworker invites....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Coworker invites.... : ruined my fun.  lol
    Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]

    Lol that was my thought, too.
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    MelissaC315MelissaC315 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Reverse the situation and put yourself in her shoes. If you helped this woman plan her wedding and she vented to you throughout and then you got invited to her ceremony but not her reception... how would you feel? A little cheated probably... I would personally fork over the extra money to invite her to the reception too.
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    lornarose07lornarose07
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_coworker-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:a997c1ce-7050-49f7-bf87-dd2bb4e4ab7ePost:45a87b9b-bd7a-4ec4-ab2a-77d5281e3a6a">Re: Coworker invites....</a>:
    [QUOTE] I think you should post this on the Etiquitte Board b/c you deserve a nice rump ripping. .
    Posted by DondadaTimes2[/QUOTE]

    Changed my mind; this, because it made me crack up
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    raes19raes19 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_coworker-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:a997c1ce-7050-49f7-bf87-dd2bb4e4ab7ePost:d1780af6-5e51-44e2-b881-d1b7051ef115">Re: Coworker invites....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Coworker invites.... : Yes it's totally fine!!!!!! Oh my goodness it's your PPD so  YOU get to do whatever YOU want!!! It's all about you, and no one else!! Just make up an invitation inviting her and the others to the ceremony! Since you are so close to her she will totally understand. **For those of you at Monica's tupperware party, I hope you will appreciate the italics!!
    Posted by libordke22[/QUOTE]

    Omg Kara, I literally just LOL'd haha
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    kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Love the sarcasm font.  I totally forgot to use it in my post.  Dangit.
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    DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Haahahaha. Love the font!

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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