BM's dress drama

jlmeier5 · July 2010

so i took the girls for a shopping trip to find the right fabric for thier dresses and all they did was bash me and my dress and tell me i need to be more normal about the wedding...... needless to say after making an ass out of myself by yelling and throwing a tantrum i decided to meet them half way instead of making dresses we will buy dresses and i will buy and new dress just to please my BM's however i told them if i am buying all the dresses they no longer get to bitch about the style of the dresses that we are all going to have brand new 50's swing dresses! does this make me a bridezilla? i'm really trying to be nice and help out because i know i make the most out of all my BM'sand two out of three of them are ok with it my sister is putting up a fight and i tell her to take it like a man and she goes crying to mommy even at the age of 30!!!!!!! i dont know!!! i dont care what she says it's my day and if she wants to be in it she will suffer i just dont know if telling them since im paying this is what they are getting is being a little to b*#$@* or not! can i get some advice please?

GracefulMeadow86 · July 2010

maybe yelling wasnt the best reaction, but they were totally out of line telling you your wedding and ideas basically sucked. its yours and FIs wedding, not theirs. if they have a problem with the dresses that you would prefer, they should talk to you in a civilized manner and see if theres something else that can be done. ive been in weddings where i didnt like the dress...you just suck it up because you are there for the bride and groom.

50s style swing dresses pretty much compliment every body style so i dont really see the problem. you have a vision, go for it. its nice to offer to pay for the dresses but not necessary. and if your sister is going to be a such a jerk about this, how is she going to be with the rest of the planning? maybe she needs a kick in the butt and told that if she doesnt want to wear the dress, she doesnt have to be in the wedding.

Chandler2Be · July 2010

I completely agree with Kim.
Maybe you came on a little strong with the yelling....but I get where you are coming from. I sometimes feel myself getting defensive about my wedding ideas when people criticize them and I certainly didn't ask for an opinion.
Here's what I did to make my BM's feel like they had some what of a say of what they were wearing. I chose Separates....so the style/color of the skirts are all the same but the tops come in 4 different styles so they can choose what they will be comfortable in. I also gave them a choice on the style of sash and shoes as long as they are still dress like shoes and are black....maybe let them have small choices and they might not want to retaliate so much...
...but there comes a point when you have to put your foot down and remind them that they should be flattered that you chose them to be a part of your special day.

jlmeier5 · July 2010

well here is what i picked out and i agree yelling wasnt the best idea but i felt conered and here are the dresses i am buying and they will just have to suck it up lol!

and heres my new dress

Chandler2Be · July 2010

I'm curious to see what you had planned before you changed your mind....do you have pictures?

dizzinea · July 2010

a I agree with PP it's your wedding I've been in two weddings and I hated the dress both times and kept my mouth shut, that is what you do. it's YOUR wedding and if your sister is being a big baby I'd sit her down and say, look you don't have to do anything you don't want to, and I understand if you don't want to be in the wedding, but if you do then you need to help me do it my way, and support me, if you can't then I'd be honored to have you as a guest

jlmeier5 · July 2010

i dont have pics of the old dress yet but i did use that dress for my engagement photos that im supposed to have next week now ( my uncle is still out of town with his brand new fling)

GracefulMeadow86 · July 2010

oh i love your new dress choice and your wedding dress. i dont understand why people have to be such crybabies about things....especially when what you picked is adorable!

jlmeier5 · July 2010

i know and its the same tooting thing i was going to make just not with satin but that idea was totally bash because it wouldn't look fancy enough for them..... oh well i caved and ill just buy dresses.....at least i got one good use out of the dress i made and that was the pics as soon as i get them

graysquirrel · July 2010

Have your girls never seen a wedding comedy? Wearing what the bride picks is part of the experience. When a person signs on to be a bridesmaid, she gives up her right to bitch. I do understand that some women are very concerned about body type in certain dresses, but this sounded more like people being catty about appearances. Also, are you paying for the dresses? That is something they should for sure not expect from you.

Knittibell · July 2010

Every wedding I've been in, I always tell the bride I'll wear whatever she wants me to. It's her day. 90% of the time, no matter WHAT the bride thinks, you'll never wear the damn thing again, really, so just go with it.

Sorry your BM's have been giving you a hard time, but if you're buying the dresses, they REALLY have no say!

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