new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)

empry · June 2011

Hi, I'm emily

I'm 21, and my fiancee Andy and I just got engaged on June 6th!

My fiancee is in the marines, and he just recently finished boot camp. He's getting deployed sometime in the next 6 months, so we were thinking about having a jop ceremony and then having our big wedding once he's back from deployment. I already have an idea of colors, my dress, and other stuff, I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for a new marine fiancee.

We will also be expecting our first child in January!

SarahP787 · June 2011

Congrats! Good luck with your pregnancy - will you be staying near friends and family while he's gone? A great support system is always good for deployment, but I bet it would be even more so with a new baby on the way!

It sounds like you already have plenty of ideas for the vow renewal. My only advice is to give yourself plenty of wiggle room in between when he gets home and the ceremony date.

SamiJoeB · June 2011

Welcome to the Boards!! I'm a Marine Wife...

My first advice... Marine. Always capitalized. We always show respect to SM and their branches with capitals.

Next, familiarize yourself with OPSEC and PERSEC. Google it, learn it, and then live by it.

If you have a JOP ceremony, that is your wedding. You don't get a courthouse wedding, AND a "big wedding". You can go to the JOP, and then have a Vow Renewal, but once you're married, you're married. You'll find that we have very strong opinions on this subject, mostly because we talk about it every freaking week. If you are planning to have JOP and then hide it from your family and friends until your "big wedding" or VR, you will not find a lot of support for that on this board. If you want support for planning your VR, that everyone knows is a VR, we are here to help! I personally find it rude to call a VR a "big wedding" because I think that by doing so it implies that people who JOP are some how less married, than others because they went to the JOP. Either way, big wedding, or JOP, you are married.

Congrats on your engagement and your pregnacy!!

firsttimersluck · June 2011

Welcome to the board and congrats to your Marine!
You can also check out "The Bump" by The Knot for preggo advice

I hope the Vow Renewal plans go swimmingly, and we are most definitely here to help you with any suggestions, opinion, explainations you may need or want.

jensenlewis · June 2011

Congrats on your engagement and your pregnancy! That's great. However, I agree with Sami... you can't have your cake and eat it too. I guess IMO going to the courthouse to exchange vows quickly kind of takes the romance and the excitement out of having a WEDDING, unless that's what you truly want. There is nothing wrong with a JOP ceremony. Naturally everyone's plan is to get married once, I'd say to just stick to one "big wedding" as you called it. VR are great, but it takes away the excitement of what is suppose to be your ONE big day. Right?

kyrgyzstan · June 2011

Wait a second. He *just* finished boot camp and knows he's getting deployed in the next six months? I don't buy it. His MOS monitor won't even put him in a unit until the very end of his MOS school, which is after MCT/SOI. Has he done MCT/SOI yet or did he literally *just* finish boot?

What's his MOS, how long is his MOS school? I'd bet he's not deploying that soon, even if he truly thinks he is.

heather0711 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-knot-newly-engagedany-marine-wedding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56812d46-d812-49b7-8c73-72c648a31251Post:e7f65aff-b148-4be6-a96f-b41042c24f89">Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait a second. He *just* finished boot camp and knows he's getting deployed in the next six months? I don't buy it. His MOS monitor won't even put him in a unit until the very end of his MOS school, which is after MCT/SOI. Has he done MCT/SOI yet or did he literally *just* finish boot? What's his MOS, how long is his MOS school? I'd bet he's not deploying that soon, even if he truly thinks he is.
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Exactly what i was thinking. There's NO WAY he's deploying in the next 6 months. They might have thrown that out there but they didn't mean it, trust me. He's got 6 months, at least, left of schooling before they even consider deploying him and even then, it's unlikely he'd leave right away anyways.

</div>

firsttimersluck · June 2011

Do not mess with Stan's knowledge of the Marine Corps. :P hehehehe...
What IS his MOS anyway?

kellijd · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-knot-newly-engagedany-marine-wedding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56812d46-d812-49b7-8c73-72c648a31251Post:e7f65aff-b148-4be6-a96f-b41042c24f89">Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait a second. He *just* finished boot camp and knows he's getting deployed in the next six months? I don't buy it. His MOS monitor won't even put him in a unit until the very end of his MOS school, which is after MCT/SOI. Has he done MCT/SOI yet or did he literally *just* finish boot? What's his MOS, how long is his MOS school? I'd bet he's not deploying that soon, even if he truly thinks he is.
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

I Agree- My FH was told that when he was in Army BCT. We both knew better since he obviously hadnt started OCS yet, and wasnt even assigned to a unit! I think they tell the recruits that stuff to mess with them. BCT is all a mind game! lol

Buuut- Congrats on the engagement!! And the little one on the way!!

Jonathans Precious Angel · June 2011

I think you're looking for some support, and I don't think you'll find it here. Try these:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/usmc.gals1
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Prince-Charming-IS-a-United-States-Marine/321271281054

Oorah

kyrgyzstan · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-knot-newly-engagedany-marine-wedding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56812d46-d812-49b7-8c73-72c648a31251Post:1f7278bd-8528-4a2c-ae0b-4324006f034d">Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you're looking for some support, and I don't think you'll find it here. Try these: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#" rel='nofollow'>http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#</a> !/usmc.gals1 <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Prince-Charming-IS-a-United-States-Marine/321271281054" rel='nofollow'>http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Prince-Charming-IS-a-United-States-Marine/321271281054</a> Oorah ;)
Posted by Jonathans Precious Angel[/QUOTE]

<div>Uh, how are we not being supportive? We're telling her they don't have to rush!</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

Jonathans Precious Angel · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-knot-newly-engagedany-marine-wedding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:56812d46-d812-49b7-8c73-72c648a31251Post:7793c569-bff7-4471-9828-f55df1c676dd">Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Welcome to the Boards!! I'm a Marine Wife... My first advice... Marine. Always capitalized. We always show respect to SM and their branches with capitals. Next, familiarize yourself with OPSEC and PERSEC. Google it, learn it, and then live by it. If you have a JOP ceremony, that is your wedding. You don't get a courthouse wedding, AND a "big wedding". You can go to the JOP, and then have a Vow Renewal, but once you're married, you're married. You'll find that we have very strong opinions on this subject, mostly because we talk about it every freaking week. If you are planning to have JOP and then hide it from your family and friends until your "big wedding" or VR, you will not find a lot of support for that on this board. If you want support for planning your VR, that everyone knows is a VR, we are here to help! I personally find it rude to call a VR a "big wedding" because I think that by doing so it implies that people who JOP are some how less married, than others because they went to the JOP. Either way, big wedding, or JOP, you are married. Congrats on your engagement and your pregnacy!!
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

She was flat out told she would not get support for wanting to do both a courthouse and big wedding later. Personally, I wouldn't do both, but I'm one of the FEW of my friends who didn't opt to do both. On USMC Gals (the first link) she can talk to plenty of girls who have done both if that's what she really wants to do.

kyrgyzstan · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-knot-newly-engagedany-marine-wedding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56812d46-d812-49b7-8c73-72c648a31251Post:1aa599d8-eb59-42c0-aafd-f2dc67692b64">Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :) : She was flat out told she would not get support for wanting to do both a courthouse and big wedding later. Personally, I wouldn't do both, but I'm one of the FEW of my friends who didn't opt to do both. On USMC Gals (the first link) she can talk to plenty of girls who have done both if that's what she really wants to do.
Posted by Jonathans Precious Angel[/QUOTE]

<div>She just didn't get support for calling them both weddings. Semantics. She got plenty of support, and she doesn't have to rush, because unless her timeline was off, he's not getting deployed that quickly. Heck, he might never get a combat deployment at all.</div>

SamiJoeB · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-knot-newly-engagedany-marine-wedding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56812d46-d812-49b7-8c73-72c648a31251Post:7793c569-bff7-4471-9828-f55df1c676dd">Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]If you have a JOP ceremony, that is your wedding. You don't get a courthouse wedding, AND a "big wedding". You can go to the JOP, and then have a Vow Renewal, but once you're married, you're married. You'll find that we have very strong opinions on this subject, mostly because we talk about it every freaking week.<u><strong> If you are planning to have JOP and then hide it from your family and friends until your "big wedding" or VR, you will not find a lot of support for that on this board. If you want support for planning your VR, that everyone knows is a VR, we are here to help!</strong></u> I personally find it rude to call a VR a "big wedding" because I think that by doing so it implies that people who JOP are some how less married, than others because they went to the JOP. Either way, big wedding, or JOP, you are married. Congrats on your engagement and your pregnacy!!
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-knot-newly-engagedany-marine-wedding-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:56812d46-d812-49b7-8c73-72c648a31251Post:1aa599d8-eb59-42c0-aafd-f2dc67692b64">Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :) : She was flat out told she would not get support for wanting to do both a courthouse and big wedding later. Personally, I wouldn't do both, but I'm one of the FEW of my friends who didn't opt to do both. On USMC Gals (the first link) she can talk to plenty of girls who have done both if that's what she really wants to do.
Posted by Jonathans Precious Angel[/QUOTE]

We go through this on a <u><strong>freaking weekly basis</strong></u>. No one cares if you JOP and then have a VR. What we care about is calling your VR your "real wedding". It's insensitive to the women who chose to just do a JOP wedding. By calling a VR her "real wedding" she's implying that those women are somehow less married because they didn't waste a shiitton of money on a PPD. I'm pretty sure everyone said congrats, or welcome or both.

Annnndd Miss Precious Angel, as you can see I specifically said as long as OP is not planning on lying to everyone, we are more than happy to help her plan a VR.

Stan is right though. With the current situation going on in combat areas, he may never even see combat.

She'll get lots of support on here, as will you, but support for planning and validation of bad ideas are 2 very different things and lying about your marriage is a pretty bad idea.

calindi · June 2011

Is that a page for the child brides who want two weddings? I really think those boards would scare me with all the crazy immaturity. But sure, if someone wants to surround themselves with Lemmings who just say, "Well, if she did it, it must be okay!" and patting each other on the back for their bad ideas, then that's the perfect place to go.

You can certainly get married and then have a vow renewal (that looks like a wedding, except you're already married). You just can't technically have two weddings. That's all Sami was trying to say.

Getting married is like being born. You can't do it twice. Your birthday is your birthday. Your wedding day is your wedding day. Would you think me a bit strange if I told you that I was going to give birth to my kid on this date, just to get the paperwork done, and then his real birth date would be a week later? Yes, it sounds weird because you can't be born twice, just like you can't marry the same person twice (at least not without a divorce in between) but you can celebrate birthdays as many times as you want, and it doesn't even have to be on your birthday! Just like weddings - you can celebrate and renew your vows however you want, but once you're married, you're married. If someone's religious, I can see calling them a civil wedding and a religious wedding because you're getting married legally and then you're getting married in your Church, but some religions frown on this and want you to do everything in their Church. Others, like Mormons, typically have two weddings since they have to petition to get married in the church after they're married by the state. But unless it's one of these situations, you're really only playing dress up and pretending to get married since you already did get married.

new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)

Re: new to the knot and newly engaged...any marine wedding advice? :)

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