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Double Up Bridal Shower

ahampton27ahampton27 member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties

My mom's friend has offered to throw us a couples shower. The friend has asked for a guest list from us, and FI and I thought it would be nice to invite the entire bridal party (bm, gm, ushers, etc) and some of our mutual close friends.

Here's the dilemma: Several of the groomsmen are married to some of FI's cousins (which makes them family now too). FI's family is throwing us a ladies only shower the next day. We want to invite the couples to the couples shower and the ladies will be invited to the family shower too. FI and I don't want to be "gift grabby" or come off that way. How do we tactfully let these couples know that we do not expect them to bring gifts to both showers? 

Thank you for any advice!

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Re: Double Up Bridal Shower

  • ahampton27ahampton27 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So I shouldn't invite the bestman and his wife because the wife is a cousin who would be invited to the shower her mother is throwing for us?
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  • CarolinaMissCarolinaMiss
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've traditionally gone with the rule that all mothers/grandmothers and all bm's are invited to EVERYTHING without the expectation that they will be at everything.  In this case, I think it is totally ok given the nature of the two extremely different parties that a little overlap would occur.  Honestly, I'd be upset if my S/O was invited to the couples' shower and I wasn't because I was invited to the ladies' shower the next day or vice versa even if either of us wasn't specifically in the wedding party.  I say go with the flow.  If someone feels over-extended with the two invites, they can always decline.  And if a couple brings gifts to both, write two thank you notes (one to the couple, one to just the woman), and let them know how gracious you are.
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