Guest List Dilemma

ronik77 · March 2012

Ok ladies, I need some advice here. We decided to keep our ceremony rather small. Only our immediate family and people we've had siginificant personal relatioinships with as friends and mean a lot to us. We're expecting about 50-60 people to attend.

1. we have limited seating, it is a small space and only comes with so many chairs and tables
2. we have budgeted a specific amount for food during the reception and I have NO wiggle room.

I have 2 problems
1. I have old friends crawling out of the wood work asking me where the wedding is etc and when am I sending invitations. I have specifically not shared a bunch of wedding info on FB or anything to avoid this. Other than the occassional pic of flowers etc for family to see and I created a seperate group that are the only ones who can see that stuff.

2. I addressed invitations specifically to couples and now like 3 of them have told me they're bringing all of their children. Between 3 couples that's 9 kids. What the heck do I do????

cpm1223 · March 2012

1. I have old friends crawling out of the wood work asking me where the wedding is etc and when am I sending invitations. I have specifically not shared a bunch of wedding info on FB or anything to avoid this. Other than the occassional pic of flowers etc for family to see and I created a seperate group that are the only ones who can see that stuff.

Don't send these people invitations if you can't accomodate them. If they ask (which is rude on their part) tell them that you're at your limit with #s for the reception.

2. I addressed invitations specifically to couples and now like 3 of them have told me they're bringing all of their children. Between 3 couples that's 9 kids.

You need to call these people and politely explain that the invitation was only intended for whoever the invite was addressed to. Apologize for not being able to invite the children, but stick to your guns on this, if you let some people bring their children, others may try to bring their and then you'll be way over your limit!

vineyard12 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_guest-list-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:18c3002d-ad4c-475b-b90b-bfd4fff869b9Post:10d072be-d83e-4268-822f-b0a32a22666b">Guest List Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok ladies, I need some advice here. We decided to keep our ceremony rather small. Only our immediate family and people we've had siginificant personal relatioinships with as friends and mean a lot to us. We're expecting about 50-60 people to attend. 1. we have limited seating, it is a small space and only comes with so many chairs and tables 2. we have budgeted a specific amount for food during the reception and I have NO wiggle room. I have 2 problems <strong>1. I have old friends crawling out of the wood work asking me where the wedding is etc and when am I sending invitations. I have specifically not shared a bunch of wedding info on FB or anything to avoid this.</strong> Other than the occassional pic of flowers etc for family to see and I created a seperate group that are the only ones who can see that stuff. <strong>2. I addressed invitations specifically to couples and now like 3 of them have told me they're bringing all of their children</strong>. Between 3 couples that's 9 kids. What the heck do I do????
Posted by ronik77[/QUOTE]

1. Tell them to shove it. No. I'm kidding. I have had this happen as well. You tell them (what I told people) that we wanted to keep it really small and family only. It's rude that they're even asking and you'll just have to tell them you're sorry, but due to smallishness and/or budget, you can't invite anymore. Leave it at that. Change subject.

2. With the people who want to bring kids...tell them no. Srry, but the invitation was to them and didn't include children. Due to budget restrictions, you cannot add more people. Leave it at that. But be prepared that they might decline to come. If this happens, do not add more people to fill their seats.

Don't feel bad for saying "no." You have a set budget and you have to stick to it. Period. It's rude for people to assume they or their children are invited.

mandi921vh · March 2012

1. Tell them you are having a small wedding with a very limited guest list. They are rude for asking if they are invited!

2. Tell them their children are not invited, you have decided to have a wedding without children. You shouldn't have to explain anymore than this. If they say they won't come simply say you will be missed. Stick to your guns!

deanabuonincontri · March 2012

the pp have hit the nail on the head. and whatever you do, just be honest and polite and keep it short. dont allow them to persuade you. your guest list is finalized, end of story. you are sorry but youre having a small intimate wedding and youre not able to invite everyone. and kids are no invited due to budget/space concerns. stick to your guns! and good luck!

Melissa51212 · March 2012

The ladies above said exactly what I would say. Good luck!

littleshrink · March 2012

I'm on the same page as the rest of the girls. Politely let people know that you are unable to accomodate everyone including children as you want just a small intimate wedding. Most will understand and those that do not, well, tough noogies! Weddings bring out the "stupid" in people (so I've noticed). Stick to your guns or else you are going to be in a world of hurt in a month and that is the last thing you want to put yourself through.

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

What the other girls said =]

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