What is ok as far as giving bridesmaids guidelines for make-up and hair for the ceremony?-when asked

Re: What is ok as far as giving bridesmaids guidelines for make-up and hair for the ceremony?-when asked

• AutumnFair member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  The guidelines you are thinking of are fine. It still gives the BMs a good range to make them feel comfortable.

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• blush64 member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks, after seeing so many demanding crazy brides I am trying everything to be the opposite. I want people to have an amazing time in my wedding, not regret it.

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  Since they asked, it's okay to tell them your preferences.

                     

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• mbrischoux member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  Your guidelines are more than fine.  They're still very respectful of their personalities and even their budgets.
  
  When we went for dresses, the girls asked me what I wanted for their hair4, makeup, and shoes.  I wanted to be considerate since they were so willing to spend the $175 on the dresses (which they absolutely adored and I want to steaql from one of them for an event I'm going to!) and since I didn't want them to feel obligated to spend a ton.  I told them how my hair was and that I was having natural makeup done, and they could decide amongst themselves what color shoes they wanted them all to get (they didn't have to have matching shoes, but I preferred the same color) and if they all wanted to wear their hair in some kind of updo or some kind of down (again, they didn't ALL have to have the EXACT same style, but if one was wearing it in a french twist, for example, another would have a bun, another a fancy ponytail, as long as they were all up).  They really appreciated the freedom to choose.  They decided together to get silver shoes (all three were different but completely reflected their personalities) and wear their hair down in curls (not all EXACTLY the same, but complimenting each other and mine). 
  
  Your girls should appreciate the help and the freedom to choose styles which will look beautiful for your wedding!

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  Your guidelines are fine.  But just remember that even if they do have their hair and makeup similar to yours people will still know that you are the bride.  Individuals, even if given the same makeup, can still look completely different.  Just tell them that you prefer a natural look but in the end it is up to them to decide.

  
  

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• blush64 member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  Similar is fine, just not the same. I would prefer similar actually.
  
  I have an unfortunate medical condition affecting my hair and I can only do certain styles. (unless I wear a wig) So, while they have choice with hair, I don't otherwise I would let them choose first and then pick something myself. (rather than pick something and then have them choose.)
  
  EDITED because I don't think it sounded the way I meant it.
  
  I would also like to say,  I would not say anything if they decided to wear glowing green and pruple eyeshadow. (although I wouldn't like it) I was really just asking if giving guidelines that they asked for was ok, and if how I worded it was ok.
  
  There was never a question of me having an issue with me not "letting" them decide something or forgetting it's up to them. I've been on the other side too many times to ever want someone to go through that. They are even choosing the colour, which will then be my accent colour.  We're doing white and....whatever the bridesmaids decide. (they want black so far)

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• ElisabethJoanne member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  The guidelines you suggest responding with are just fine as a response to a question posed to you, a laid-back bride.
  
  [It is funny, isn't it, how it can become more of a headache letting people decide than choosing yourself? I decided to just have my 2 sisters as bridesmaids and thought, "Oh, great, they're my sisters. I know they're style. They know mine. There's only 2 of them. They live together. They can just work out hats, dresses, shoes themselves." Just a few days after I asked them to be bridesmaids, my baby sister (age 16 plus 1 day) is already saying, "Can't you just choose for us?"]
  

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• blush64 member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I know what you mean. When I told them I thought they'd be really happy but they just looked confused. They thought I should tell them what to wear exactly. I didn't want to tell them anything until I got some advice.

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• AutumnFair member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I think the reason there are some BMs that get the "will you choose for us?" line is because:

  
  

  1. For years and years Brides have just chosen the dress, shoe, hair and the BMs just have to sit and take it.

  2. Women try to second guess other women's fashion, so many don't know if what they choose is going to make a Bride happy or upset, and they obviously don't want to make the Bride unhappy with what they might choose.

  3. There are women out there, myself included back in the day, that used not care or have a "fashion"sense. So when someone tells me to pick out my own attire I used to have mega stress in trying to find something because I have no idea if it looked good or not. 

  
  

  I think certain guidelines for dresses, shoes, hair, are fine, are fine and probably help relieve stress many BMs, because as long as you give them some direction on what you are looking for in a look they will have a better understanding when they start finding things that they like but also follow your tastes as well. 

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• lynxbbgirl member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I think your plan sounds fine, but it can be harder.
  
  I am about 2.5 months away and I had to tell one of my BM 4 times I didn't care what jewelery they wear.
  
  If you want to match, fine, if not fine. I really don't care and would prefer that they buy something they would wear again (I was also this way with the dresses although they are all in the same dress that they agreed on.)
  
  Just remember to stay calm and if they questions, be willing to answer 10 times. Also, be willing to go shopping with them multiple times

  

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