Rehearsal Booked!

msowena · March 2012

We have officially booked our ceremony rehearsal with the venue & the rehearsal dinner at an italian restaraunt up the street from the venue. So glad to have these checks... FMIL offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but wasn't exactly making it easy on us in regards to where it was hosted and how many people are invited - we have a large wedding party & 90% have SO's. (we were pushing for a casual italian restauraunt 10mins up the street from the venue that has a soda, bread & oil, salad, and pizza package for 14.25pp including taxes and only has a $50 room fee. VERY reasonable if you ask me. She wanted to host it at her house, but lives 40mins from the rehearsal and nobody in our party lives near her OR the rehearsal so I really didn't want to inconvienence the wedding party any more than we already were, since the dinner is to THANK them... the last thing I wanted was for them to dread the dinner because they didn't want to drive to it after a decently long drive already to the rehearsal and to the wedding the next day!)

This was causing me a lot of stress because I was scared she would back out of paying and we would have to. We're already looking for stuff around the house to sell in order to not owe anything after the wedding. Don't get me wrong, we are really appreciative of her for picking up the tab, I just didn't expect it to be that difficult is all.

Feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders

rojacobs · March 2012

For the rehearsal dinner, are you just inviting everyone involved in the wedding ceremony + their SO's, or are you including guests that are from out of town too? If we include OOT guests our rehearsal dinner is going to be huge, but I feel awkward not inviting them when they are in a vacation rental next door. FMIL and FFIL are hosting the dinner, and I would like something very casual, but I don't want it to end up costing a fortune because the guest list could be very long! What is the "proper" approach to a RD guest list, and are there appropriate options?

I should check out the Etiquette board but I'm almost afraid of the answer...

msowena · March 2012

Thanks mtishawt!!

rojacobs: I replied to this already, not sure where it went

I have read many etiquette articles about rehearsal dinners and here are the etiquette "rules". You must invite all wedding party SO's. It is considered very rude to exclude them. It is optional to invite OOT guests. They recommend that if you can't host the OOT guests, that you get together with them another time before the wedding if possible, and/or you have somebody not in the wedding party (fav. Aunt or something) host something to entertain the guests while you are doing rehearsal stuff so that they don't have to sit in their rooms twiddling their thumbs (like a cocktail party or something).

Pretty much all food is acceptable- Pizza, Backyard BBQ's, Potluck looking dinner at your in laws place (though not actually potluck, as you can't ask the guests to bring food to a dinner to thank them lol... but you can have trays and crockpots of food that you and the hosts prepared earlier... something like that is fine), Chinese Food... practically everything goes. In fact I read that sometimes the more fancy the wedding reception is (lobster & filet minion), often the rehearsal dinner will be the exact opposite and be pizza so they can have a more casual night with their loved one's before the prim & proper meal the next day. (though that's not a rule or anything...you can have as fancy or casual as you want no matter what your serving at the wedding!).

It sounds like you have a lot of OOT'er's.... I would say if you can't host a backyard BBQ or something similar then your in laws might not be able to host them. Ultimately that part is up to them since they are footing the bill. Good luck, I hope this dosen't turn out to be a stressful check for you!

rojacobs · March 2012

Thanks for the info, that is helpful! Our wedding is an hour outside of town, so the rehearsal dinner will be at a restaurant in the (very small) town that we are getting married in, or possibly catered if we get a vacation rental house or something. I think I would feel better including OOT guests, so I'll talk to FIL's about it. They are ridiculously nice and fun, so it shouldn't be a problem. I'm such a people pleaser that I usually end up stressing out over things that aren't really necessary

Are you ladies (or whoever is hosting the RD) sending RD invitations in the mail? We should have a pretty good idea of who will be attending from OOT since they will have to make reservations, and of course word of mouth from my family, but I think invitations would be appreciated.

Thanks!

saraschilling88 · April 2012

Congrats on the check!! You inspired me to post something, so I'll be posting before I go offline!!

Rehearsal Booked!

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