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Wedding Woes

to have kids or not to have kids

Hi All,

I recently got engaged, and immeadiately the drama began over whether or not kids would be invited to my wedding.  Heres the basic problem: My fiance has 3 younger cousins whom he does not want to be at the wedding due to their atrocious behavior and attitudes.  Therefore, to make things easy, we decided that younger children would not be invited, since we think you can't pick and choose whose kids can come to the wedding. Now, his best man's wife is putting me on constant guilt trips because her children will not be able to attend.

Any thoughts on how to handle this?  I am saying that we need to stick to our orginial decision just so we don't have to worry about anything the day of the wedding, but I want to make sure I am making the right decision.

Re: to have kids or not to have kids

  • Hi All,

    I recently got engaged, and immeadiately the drama began over whether or not kids would be invited to my wedding.  Heres the basic problem: My fiance has 3 younger cousins whom he does not want to be at the wedding due to their atrocious behavior and attitudes.  Therefore, to make things easy, we decided that younger children would not be invited, since we think you can't pick and choose whose kids can come to the wedding. Now, his best man's wife is putting me on constant guilt trips because her children will not be able to attend.

    Any thoughts on how to handle this?  I am saying that we need to stick to our orginial decision just so we don't have to worry about anything the day of the wedding, but I want to make sure I am making the right decision.
  • Hi there - There is no quick "right" answer to this. You are correct, you can't pick and chose the children at the wedding. However, growing up I was quite offended/upset that I wasn't allowed to attend certain family weddings because they did not want and children there. Even as an adult, one of my cousins got married and said no children. We have younger cousins and I found it offensive that even though they are family they couldn't be there. Of course, like I said this is a very personal decision. If you and your fiance don't want any children at your wedding that is totally up to you.
    My fiance and I love all the kids in our family (and kids in general), even though some have serious behavioral issues. This being said we wouldn't imagine it any other way and even have 6 children under the age of 14 in our wedding party. One 13 yrs, one 11 yrs, one 10 yr old, two 4 yr old and a 3 yr old.
    If you guys decide no children, you need to just make sure you tell everyone that. Not everyone will be happy, but it is your wedding so it's your decision.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    Barbie has excellent advice.  We had kids, but I know it's not for everyone or every situation.  I am not offended if my kid is not invited, but it does make it harder for an OOT wedding. 

  • I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest you just not invite the rude children or their parents.

    What kind of parents don't even attempt to control their brats? Oh. That's right. The kind of parents who raise children to be such ridiculous little hellions.
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  • Thanks for all of the repsonses.  We are setting an age limit of 16. We are lucky though, in the way that the OOT people who may come have children that are over 16.

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