First Look Questions...

TogetherPerfect · November 2012

So FI and I decided way back that we definitely want to do a first look. I just have a couple questions for those who are doing it as well...
First, if you are doing it somewhere other than your ceremony location or getting ready location, how are you planning on getting there? Obviously FI should be there first, then me... How are you going about doing that?
Second, are you having anyone there other than photographer/videographer? We had always imagined it would just be us and the photographer (and possibly videographer), and no one watching. It just seems more private and intimate that way. So when FMIL and FSIL said something about "We can't wait to see the first look", it caught us off gaurd. Um, sorry but that's not how we pictured it. So they got all upset (especially FMIL) and started pressuring us into having them (or well, the whole BP I would assume) there to watch in the background. That's just not ideal to us. I feel like that's our moment. FMIL even said something to FI along the lines of "one day you will listen to me because I am older and wiser and know what's best". Uh... I think this is what is best for YOU, but this is our wedding, not yours. Are we being silly for wanting to stand our ground on this?

melb2013 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_first-look-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:ce55d772-cac8-4f09-8864-5654973238dePost:9c71ed92-4526-49ab-a847-f3cd1362bfff">First Look Questions...</a>:
[QUOTE]So FI and I decided way back that we definitely want to do a first look. I just have a couple questions for those who are doing it as well... First, if you are doing it somewhere other than your ceremony location or getting ready location, how are you planning on getting there? Obviously FI should be there first, then me... How are you going about doing that? Second, are you having anyone there other than photographer/videographer? We had always imagined it would just be us and the photographer (and possibly videographer), and no one watching. It just seems more private and intimate that way. So when FMIL and FSIL said something about "We can't wait to see the first look", it caught us off gaurd. Um, sorry but that's not how we pictured it. So they got all upset (especially FMIL) and started pressuring us into having them (or well, the whole BP I would assume) there to watch in the background. That's just not ideal to us. I feel like that's our moment. FMIL even said something to FI along the lines of "one day you will listen to me because I am older and wiser and know what's best". Uh... I think this is what is best for YOU, but this is our wedding, not yours. Are we being silly for wanting to stand our ground on this?
Posted by TogetherPerfect[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Maybe I'm not the best for giving advice about this, since FI and I decided it seemed silly to plan an official "first look" ("god, another thing to plan" was my FI's opinion) and that we really just wanted to get ready together. That being said, I don't think it's a big deal to have your WP and mothers there. Seriously, this is not something to start a tiff about. As much as we can say, "this day is about just the two of us", the reality is that weddings are a social, religious tradition and as such, are also about your families. If they are so excited to see this, they should be allowed to because it's really not your place to forbid it.</div><div>
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MamaBear904 · November 2012

We are having a first look and we are DEFINITELY not planning on having family, BP or anyone else there besides a photographer. IMHO the whole point of the first look is to have an intimate moment between you and FI before getting married. A moment where you both can be free to feel whatever emotions you want without tons of prying eyes. At least this is what we envisioned. I have never heard of others being there for the first look.

As for where to do it, we were planning on just doing it at the ceremony location about a half hour before guests start arriving. Where we are getting married (as of right now), there are lots of places for us to have an opportunity to take great photos, alone, just the two of us.

aprahamian2 · November 2012

We are not doing a first look, but if we were, I think I would want it to be a private moment between me, FI, and the photographer. I would feel a little weird with all the eyes staring at us for that moment, and would want it to be time to ourselves.

Danny&Mel2003 · November 2012

In Response to Re:First Look Questions...:[QUOTE]We are not doing a first look, but if we were, I think I would want it to be a private moment between me, FI, and the photographer. I would feel a little weird with all the eyes staring at us for that moment, and would want it to be time to ourselves. Posted by aprahamian2[/QUOTE]

This completely! They may be upset but they'll get over it this is your day go with your vision!

FLGatorGal88 · November 2012

We are doing first look photos and the only people who will be there are FI, the photographer and videographer, and myself... The whole reason for the first look was so that FI and I could have our little moment together before the ceremony. I completely understand how you dont want FMIL and everyone else around. We have decided to do our first look photos at the country club where we are getting married which makes it little easier and less hectic. NO!!!! You are not being silly for standing your ground!!! Don't back down either if that is the way you both want it than you should be able to have it that way.

turtleslove · November 2012

We are not having anyone else around for ours! I would definintely not be natural if they were. Photographers take the Bride and Groom out to do their couples portraits alone anyway so what is the difference if you do that before or after the ceremony?

Can't help you with the location.. We are doing everything in the same place.. We will take golf carts out to the secluded place we do the photos, but the ceremony, pictures, and reception are all at the golf course.

Sharpschruter22 · November 2012

I don't think you are being ridiculous at all! Stand your ground! I agree that it is a very private moment and that's how FI and I will be doing it. No one but us and the photog. It is your wedding and you absolutely have a say over this situation. I am getting ready in the hotel Our reception is at and where the pics will be taken. FI is staying at a different hotel and will arrive when we schedule it. We are having the first look in one of the gardens. I reserved the entire garden so no one can be there except us. No matter how often she tries to talk you into it, do not yield. It is a private moment you will both treasure and will be a great start to the festivities. Tell her she will get to ser the pics, but this is a private moment you both do not want to share and ask her to respect that.

Krikin22 · November 2012

I think we might do one where my FI doesn't actually see me, but I haven't actually decided yet. But I agree it should be just you two and the photographer. I need to visit the hotel we booked and see if they have any places that would work out well. I think it would be too much trouble to try to travel somewhere else to do it.

Annas2013 · November 2012

We're doing ours probably in a secluded field. But we will not have anyone else there. Stand your ground. You aren't wrong. It's you and your FI's decisions and your FILs need to respect that.

beckyh77 · November 2012

We will be doing ours just the two of us and the photog. I want a private intimate moment and other people there would be a distraction.

Swazzle · November 2012

We're doing a first-look and it will just be FI and me.

I'm getting my hair and makeup done at the hotel and then putting my dress on at the venue. FI will arrive after me and we'll have our first-look. Our bridal party will also be there but I prefer they stay inside or something while we're doing the first-look. I agree about it being a private moment.

RebCappon · November 2012

We were originally just going to do the 2 of us but my photographer showed us amazing pics with the BP there so we will do some that way and then walk off on our own for a few minutes so that we still get that alone time.

Our photographer is planning the whole thing so I am not quite sure how we are doing it yet.

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