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Bridal Shower!!

PhiMuLady7PhiMuLady7 member
First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Hey ladies! I need some advice. My fiance and I are getting married on November 18th. We just bought a lot of land, have been busy getting everything together and our house is going to be finished earlier then we thought. We'll be moved in by June 1st by the latest. We're from a small town and both have large families. They want to have us one huge bridal shower and allowed me to choose the date. I figured October would be good month. Since our house is almost finished, we have been asked my numerous people if we would like a housewarming party or when we're having it. I was thinking about moving my bridal shower date up to July and just making it a Bridal Shower/housewarming party. Most people around here buy you stuff for your house at bridal showers anyways and If we wait until October, we'll already have bought a lot of stuff we will receive at the party. I really don't care for having two separate parties because I'm not a greedy person and although I know people will buy me gifts, I don't want them spending any extra money. My question is, do you think July is too early to have a bridal shower since my wedding is not unitl November and is the shower/housewarming idea tacky?
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Re: Bridal Shower!!

  • OuachitaTrixieOuachitaTrixie
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    meh, it wouldn't bother me either way.  i would be dying to see your house ASAP!  hosting parties is a lot of work.  Would the same person/people host both?
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    The standard etiquette is that it's no more than a couple months out from the wedding.  That being said, mine was like 9 months before my wedding because of all the people that had to travel and their schedules and stuff.

    As for combining the shower with the housewarming party, that would probably be fine.  But since you shouldn't host/plan your own pre-wedding events, someone else would have to be the host, which may be weird for a housewarming party, IDK.  I'd say it's probably your call.

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  • PhiMuLady7PhiMuLady7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    The party would be held at our church hall regardless of the housewarming. I wouldn't be the host. My FMIL, sister, and mother are the main hosts. I just get lots of input because I still live at home. lol. As far as viewing our home, we are planning a bbq once we get settled for all of those who want to come. No gifts; just a celebration.   

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  • Meg1036Meg1036
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    See, to me a housewarming party is a party you have at your house (much like the BBQ you describe).  And that's the point of it.  In my circle, people might bring wine or something to a housewarming, but not a registry-level gift.  So, while I think your heart is in the right place here
    1) It's weird to have a housewarming party not at a house
    2) It's weird (to me) to expect people to furnish your house with gifts from a housewarming party (but maybe this is regional).

    For that reason, I would do the events separately.  Dear Prudence actually talked about housewarmings in a video lately: http://www.slate.com/id/2285211/
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:d57c0826-e92a-425f-8e96-1c2c2b0a73a0Post:97aa1673-17c1-4455-af96-cd391c4ee749">Re: Bridal Shower!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The party would be held at our church hall regardless of the housewarming. I wouldn't be the host. My FMIL, sister, and mother are the main hosts. I just get lots of input because I still live at home. lol. As far as viewing our home, we are planning a bbq once we get settled for all of those who want to come. No gifts; just a celebration.   
    Posted by PhiMuLady7[/QUOTE]

    Hmm, can't say I've ever heard of a housewarming party not at the house.  I would just have an open house BBQ as you describe and keep your shower as a separate event in October.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    FMIL's friends wanted to throw a shower for FI and me, and when we offered them a date in October (I am also getting married in November), apparently FMIL's friends were shocked and appalled because it is "inappropriate to have a shower after wedding invitations have gone out."  I'd never heard this, FMIL had never heard this, but nevertheless, the shower has been moved to June because that was the only other month my parents could make a trip out to where the party is.

    As for having it somewhere other than your house, I agree with PP that that doesn't really make a lot of sense.  You could wait on the housewarming and make it a potluck -- that way guests bring food instead of gifts?  And then everyone is happy and well-fed.
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  • PhiMuLady7PhiMuLady7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice. Where I'm from, bridal shower gifts are basically housewarming gifts. And housewarming gifts are like blenders, toasters, vacuums, etc. They go hard around here. lol. I guess that's why I have a problem. I think we've decided to just have an early shower in July. Bbq with no gifts in late June so people can see the house. And possibly a lingerie party or something closer to the wedding. I believe that would work. Thanks again for the advice! 
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, bridal shower gifts are typically house-related.  But I think what we're trying to say is that housewarming parties aren't usually gift registry events.  The stores like to make you think that you can make a registry for everything, but it comes off as gift-grabby.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Just an idea, since you posted on a Catholic forum: When I moved into my house, we had a house blessing Mass said at the house and invited friends over. Therefore it was a gathering to invite friends to without asking for gifts. A few people brought gifts, but most didn't, which is great.
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  • PhiMuLady7PhiMuLady7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I agree about the housewarming but like I said, around here people like to "furnish" your house. Makes no sense to me either but I just smile and go with it. I should be thankful I live in a town where people care about you like that...And the house blessing Mass is such a wonderful idea. Thank you!! We could do that the same day we intend to have our bbq.

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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    what if you have the housewarming and forego the shower?
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d57c0826-e92a-425f-8e96-1c2c2b0a73a0Post:3045f6da-fdf5-40a5-8485-f9a25f71a62e">Re: Bridal Shower!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just an idea, since you posted on a Catholic forum: When I moved into my house, we had a house blessing Mass said at the house and invited friends over. Therefore it was a gathering to invite friends to without asking for gifts. A few people brought gifts, but most didn't, which is great.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wow, this is a wonderful idea!</div>
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A mass comes with some logistical concerns... so if a priest won't do it, you can still have a house blessing without a mass.
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:d57c0826-e92a-425f-8e96-1c2c2b0a73a0Post:413841b8-0ec9-46d0-ba72-b44abc0e6db4">Re: Bridal Shower!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Shower!! : Hmm, can't say I've ever heard of a housewarming party not at the house.  I would just have an open house BBQ as you describe and keep your shower as a separate event in October.
    Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

    I see docta's point here and I have to say that I agree that you should seperate the shower from the housewarming.

    It's very sweet of you to think about the burden of two gifts but people usually choose the shower as a real gift giving event.  House warmings will get you gifts such as cookbook with and ingredients, a jjar of Jam with the recipe and jars to make your own, etc.  That's what house warming parties are like here
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  • clearheavensclearheavens member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d57c0826-e92a-425f-8e96-1c2c2b0a73a0Post:3045f6da-fdf5-40a5-8485-f9a25f71a62e">Re: Bridal Shower!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just an idea, since you posted on a Catholic forum: When I moved into my house, we had a house blessing Mass said at the house and invited friends over. Therefore it was a gathering to invite friends to without asking for gifts. A few people brought gifts, but most didn't, which is great.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    <div>Same here.  When FI recently bought the place where I'm moving into after we marry, we had a house blessing Mass.  It was wonderful.</div>
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