China, silver and fancy stuff.

Barbiiieee · October 2012

My fiance and I are not fancy people. Maybe it's because we are still in college and the idea of eating our ramen noodles out of Lenox china seems a bit foolish. Okay, so we don't really ever eat ramen noodles, but we do live casually. I've been known to let my dishes pile up for over a week during finals. That's how we are.

But realistically, we're going to outgrow that. I'm still iffy about registering for the fancy stuff though. I'm traditional, and I feel like, they would be cherished pieces to hand down to our (future) children and blah blah blah. Of course, we could always buy it later on when it suits our lifestyle more, I know that. But isn't stuff less special when it isn't WEDDING china, WEDDING silver, or WEDDING crystal? Plus, I would be so excited for people to be so generous as to buy us gifts, but I keep thinking, "Yeah, but one place setting could buy us this and this and 50 other things." YKWIM?

So, did everyone register for formal china? If you didn't and are already married, do you regret it? Did you get it and use it often.? What's everyone's thoughts on this?

jessicabessica · October 2012

We registered for everyday china, and then several relatives that wanted to give us larger gifts gave us the formal items (china from my grandma, crystal from my ILs, silver passed down from DH's grandma). It was really important to my DH that we have fancy china, silver, and crystal to use on special occasions--he grew up using fancy dinnerware every Friday night, and I think he would like us to do the same, especially when we have kids (and yes, he polishes the silver). We use it now sometimes on Friday nights, and then when we have company or fancy dinners ourselves (anniversary, etc.).

I don't think the stuff will be less special if you don't get it as wedding gifts, but it's fine to register for it. Do you have somewhere to store everything? You can also wait a bit, since you have a while until your wedding.

Ali092011 · October 2012

I don't think you HAVE to register for anything that doesn't fit your needs or lifestyle, even though the stores will try to tell you you need to. I will inherit my choice of three sets of china, so H and I did not register for formal china.

However, I know couples who wanted fancy china but didn't register for it because they needed/wanted more "practical" high-priced items like a Dyson, a Kitchenaid, etc. and didn't want to appear greedy by registering for both. They told themselves that they would either buy fine china with money they received as wedding gifts, or would purchase it when they had better jobs and more wealth.

None of them have bought their china. They used monetary wedding gifts to either pay off bills, pad a savings account, or buy more practical items. You can promise yourself you will buy china, but in all reality unless you have so much money that you don't know what to do with it, china will always take a back seat to car payments, vacations, a new TV, etc.

Basically, for those reasons, I think you should register for china if you see yourself wanting it at any point in the future. Your registry will stay active for a while after your wedding, so your family can even use it to buy you Christmas or birthday gifts. It doesn't hurt to register for it, even if most of your guests buy you more practical things. But believe me, many guests would prefer to buy you china, silver, or crystal over a vacuum that will be obsolete in five years or a piece of artwork that will end up in the basement when you redecorate.

bride2beNCG · October 2012

We also didn't register for fancy china, crystal, etc. partially because we are not fancy people and partially because there is so much of that stuff on both sides of our family, that we already know we will get heirloom items at some point in this process. Instead, we registered for nice everyday dishes to replace our measly set of four from Goodwill that I have had since college.

But, I think this boils down to personal preference. If you think you guys will host Thanksgiving/Christmas at some point in the future, it might not be a bad idea to register for seasonal or "special occasion" dishes, even if they aren't Lenox china.

amymaysa · October 2012

You don't have to register for those items

We are 33 and just registered for everyday dished and silveware.
We probably will never host a holiday, since we live away from family and travel to them.

If you don't think you'll use it or have a safe place to store it, then don't register for it. If you find the need for it later in life, you can buy it. It won't be any less special b/c it's not 'wedding china'

Katred08 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_china-silver-and-fancy-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ea3577d7-6586-470d-9381-f5b9c9fed01ePost:3670dcbb-64cf-4d20-8bb4-d2f36ca9e4df">Re: China, silver and fancy stuff.</a>:
[QUOTE]However, I know couples who wanted fancy china but didn't register for it because they needed/wanted more "practical" high-priced items like a Dyson, a Kitchenaid, etc. and didn't want to appear greedy by registering for both. They told themselves that they would either buy fine china with money they received as wedding gifts, or would purchase it when they had better jobs and more wealth. None of them have bought their china. They used monetary wedding gifts to either pay off bills, pad a savings account, or buy more practical items. You can promise yourself you will buy china, but in all reality unless you have so much money that you don't know what to do with it, china will always take a back seat to car payments, vacations, a new TV, etc. Basically, for those reasons, I think you should register for china if you see yourself wanting it at any point in the future. Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

This is a good point....I'm still not sure what we're going to register for as far as china, but I think Ali makes a good point that even if I say it doesn't fit our lifestyle now, in the future maybe I'd wish I had it, because yeah, it's never going to seem fun to buy china with disposable income in the future--it'll be more fun to take vacations. That being said, if vacations take a priority over buying china, is it really something I "need" in the first place and should expect other people to buy for me? Probably not. Shrug. Like I said, I'm still deciding. But, there's nothing wrong with eating your ramen noodles out of lenox bowls if you want them! I have lots of friends who registered for fine china and use it every single day. If you love it, why only use it a few times a year during special occasions?

stantokm · October 2012

We're registering for china for the same reasons as Ali. Just because we won't use it much right away, we WILL use it one day and I'd rather that someone else buy it for us. It's expensive and while it's easy for someone to purchase a single placesetting for you, think of how difficult it would be for you to buy 8-12 placesettings at once. That's a lot of money to drop when you have other expenses.

Also, the other items that you want more? Those will be much easier for you to afford on your own if they're not bought off the registry, so you will still have them one day.

divinemsbee · October 2012

I know people who never use their fine china and people who eat off of it every single day. it's a total personal preference.

My FI and I registered for everyday stoneware, and a more everyday china and for fine china. We didn't register for traditional crystal (I registered for Reidel wine glasses), and I should be inheriting a set of silver. It's mainly just to start a collection. Also, because of my FI's job, there are going to be lots of holidays where we can't get to either of our families, so it's been important to us to start collecting things to be able to make our home the "home for the holidays" if that makes sense.

Really, unless you're registering for a very expensive pattern or maker, most china falls within around the same price point. And with all the sales that stores run, and if someone were so enterprising as to check Amazon or Ebay (that's where my MOH found china for my wedding gift, she told me) they can get pretty good deals if you're worried about people spending too much money. Crystal can be even more reasonable. Silver gets outrageously expensive, though. I'm not registering for it because my grandmother is giving me one of her sets, but if I wasn't getting that I'd probably have just registered for a nicer stainless.

hoffse · October 2012

I'm in the minority on these boards. I bought 8 place settings of my fine settings before I got engaged because I found a deal. I have lenox pearl platinum. We are registering for 4 place settings plus the serving pieces.

So some people will spend disposable income on those things. I grew up using china a lot. My mother has an everyday, a formal, a semi-formal, and a holiday pattern. I even had "trainer china" as a little kid to teach me how to eat on nice dishes without risking my mother's matched set. Like PP said, it's really a lifestyle thing.

FI and I have not registered for crystal because I already have 12 sets of that - in wine, water, and sparkling/champagne glasses.

We have registered for sterling because it's something that's important to FI. Beverly Bremer sells sterling flatware for very reasonable prices, so we have a registry through her store.

NO2012 · October 2012

In Response to Re:China, silver and fancy stuff.:[QUOTE]I don't think you HAVE to register for anything that doesn't fit your needs or lifestyle, even though the stores will try to tell you you need to. I will inherit my choice of three sets of china, so H and I did not register for formal china.However, I know couples who wanted fancy china but didn't register for it because they needed/wanted more "practical" highpriced items like a Dyson, a Kitchenaid, etc. and didn't want to appear greedy by registering for both. They told themselves that they would either buy fine china with money they received as wedding gifts, or would purchase it when they had better jobs and more wealth.None of them have bought their china. They used monetary wedding gifts to either pay off bills, pad a savings account, or buy more practical items. You can promise yourself you will buy china, but in all reality unless you have so much money that you don't know what to do with it, china will always take a back seat to car payments, vacations, a new TV, etc.Basically, for those reasons, I think you should register for china if you see yourself wanting it at any point in the future. Your registry will stay active for a while after your wedding, so your family can even use it to buy you Christmas or birthday gifts. It doesn't hurt to register for it, even if most of your guests buy you more practical things. But believe me, many guests would prefer to buy you china, silver, or crystal over a vacuum that will be obsolete in five years or a piece of artwork that will end up in the basement when you redecorate. Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

This exactly. And believe me, if you have children one day, buying china for yourself will seem like a ridiculous expense over all of the things they need and want. I would most definitely register for it now if you have any desire for it. My SIL decided 10 years after her wedding that a china set really didn't match their lifestyle and she recently sold her entire Vera Wang set. I would rather be in her position that 10 years down the road really wanting and wishing you had it and now can't justify it. Just my opinion. FWIW, I registered for both an everyday china and fancy china and have received all of both. Guests were thrilled to buy dishes. No sheets and very few towels were purchased.

EK2013 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_china-silver-and-fancy-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ea3577d7-6586-470d-9381-f5b9c9fed01ePost:3da5cf7e-9362-4afd-a8a7-afad2ad28798">China, silver and fancy stuff.</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are not fancy people. Maybe it's because we are still in college and the idea of eating our ramen noodles out of Lenox china seems a bit foolish. Okay, so we don't really ever eat ramen noodles, but we do live casually. I've been known to let my dishes pile up for over a week during finals. That's how we are. But realistically, we're going to outgrow that. I'm still iffy about registering for the fancy stuff though. I'm traditional, and I feel like, they would be cherished pieces to hand down to our (future) children and blah blah blah. Of course, we could always buy it later on when it suits our lifestyle more, I know that. But isn't stuff less special when it isn't WEDDING china, WEDDING silver, or WEDDING crystal? Plus, I would be so excited for people to be so generous as to buy us gifts, but I keep thinking, "Yeah, but one place setting could buy us this and this and 50 other things." YKWIM? So, did everyone register for formal china? If you didn't and are already married, do you regret it? Did you get it and use it often.? What's everyone's thoughts on this?
Posted by Barbiiieee[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>We didn't register for any china, silver, or crystal. Consider the small size of our wedding, we wanted to prioritize registering for the useful (good pots and pans) and the fun (fondue set), rather than the beautiful-and-breakable-and-hard-to-store-in-a-small-kitchen.</div><div>
</div><div>However, I also say that knowing that there are sets of family china and crystal that I'll likely wind up with over the next handful of years. But even without that, I know that if I ever cared about china, I would buy it for myself then.</div>

music11 · October 2012

We registered for china, and although we have a small house now, we like to entertain, we both grew up with china used during the holidays and special occaisions, and know we will use it.

Ali092011 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_china-silver-and-fancy-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ea3577d7-6586-470d-9381-f5b9c9fed01ePost:2a0333c3-0b23-4f94-bed5-a3ee902bcdd3">Re: China, silver and fancy stuff.</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to bang my head on the desk when someone says "Why buy china when you'll only use it on holidays?" Decades ago, china was a luxury item. People didn't use it every day BECAUSE it was so expensive, and tough to replace. <strong>Today's china is very affordable, and very durable. It comes in all kinds of patterns, from casual to elaborate. There is no reason to buy china "and only use it on holidays." </strong>Get a pattern that can be used every day, and dress it up for formal with crystal and fancy table linens. Crystal can be used every day. you'll feel special - even if you are only drinking juice. Sterling is always a good investment. Companies like Wallace and Towle never discontinue their patterns, so you have years to complete your set, and you can hand it down to your kids.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

That's very true, too. My grandmother used her fine china every single day, except for holidays when she used her holiday fine china. She left it when she moved in with my mom and H and I moved into her house, but H and I registered for new casual dishes (Noritake Colorwave) because her china is super not our taste (covered in blue flowers). Anyway, her china is now safely stored and still looks brand new even though she ate off of those dishes for over forty years.

s-aries8990 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_china-silver-and-fancy-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ea3577d7-6586-470d-9381-f5b9c9fed01ePost:2a0333c3-0b23-4f94-bed5-a3ee902bcdd3">Re: China, silver and fancy stuff.</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to bang my head on the desk when someone says "Why buy china when you'll only use it on holidays?" Decades ago, china was a luxury item. People didn't use it every day BECAUSE it was so expensive, and tough to replace. Today's china is very affordable, and very durable. It comes in all kinds of patterns, from casual to elaborate. There is no reason to buy china "and only use it on holidays." Get a pattern that can be used every day, and dress it up for formal with crystal and fancy table linens. Crystal can be used every day. you'll feel special - even if you are only drinking juice. Sterling is always a good investment. Companies like Wallace and Towle never discontinue their patterns, so you have years to complete your set, and you can hand it down to your kids.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

this! Also, get a pattern that has store-staying power. My mother has had the same Lennox Holiday china since I can remember (I'm 22, and I KNOW she got it before I turned 3) and I still see it in Macy's and BB&B. We use it only on holidays, but that's because it's hollyberries and holly leaves. Ask the in-store consultants what patterns they have seen return year after year and ask them if there are any rumors of discontunuing them.

I also like the idea of taking years to complete a set as time goes on. If you get a small 8 place 5 piece setting (in my area about $100/setting for Lennox) you may get a good chunk of them given.

M&MJK · October 2012

My FI and I were discussing this recently. We will both be near 40 when we tie the knot, but we don't do a lot of entertaining. And he has two young boys. And storage space is limited. We decided not to register for china but rather some nicer service set, possibly Pfaltzcraft or something similar. It is nice enough to use at Thanksgiving and other more formal dinners, but it is also much more durable (especially if it is stoneware). We also didn't like the idea of asking for such expensive luxuries when there are many other things we actually need.

Then a couple weeks ago at a chuch bazaar I found a large china set with a pretty pattern I liked for only $40. Then I found out the price was actually half that because it was later in the day. Then when we got home and started unpacking the boxes I found 2 nearly complete sets of service for 12 complete with creamers, sugar bowls, platters! And it is in fantastic condition. My mother never registered for china, just crystal. She inherited her grandmother's china years later. My point is that china that is not WEDDING china (or crystal or whatever) can still be just as special and have wonderful stories attached. And go with sterling silver or stainless steel flatware. Real silver is a pain in the neck to maintain.

KaitheyMartin · October 2012

If you really think your future should cherish wedding chinda.. You should register for it.

hoffse · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_china-silver-and-fancy-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ea3577d7-6586-470d-9381-f5b9c9fed01ePost:4ce1fe10-c10f-47dd-8670-cc888d7d5260">Re: China, silver and fancy stuff.</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I were discussing this recently. We will both be near 40 when we tie the knot, but we don't do a lot of entertaining. And he has two young boys. And storage space is limited. We decided not to register for china but rather some nicer service set, possibly Pfaltzcraft or something similar. It is nice enough to use at Thanksgiving and other more formal dinners, but it is also much more durable (especially if it is stoneware). We also didn't like the idea of asking for such expensive luxuries when there are many other things we actually need. Then a couple weeks ago at a chuch bazaar I found a large china set with a pretty pattern I liked for only $40. Then I found out the price was actually half that because it was later in the day. Then when we got home and started unpacking the boxes I found 2 nearly complete sets of service for 12 complete with creamers, sugar bowls, platters! And it is in fantastic condition. My mother never registered for china, just crystal. She inherited her grandmother's china years later. My point is that china that is not WEDDING china (or crystal or whatever) can still be just as special and have wonderful stories attached. <strong> And go with sterling silver or stainless steel flatware. Real silver is a pain in the neck to maintain</strong>.
Posted by M&MJK[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Real silver is sterling. They are the same thing. It's not hard to maintain if you just store it correctly (in a box) and USE it - silver loves to be used and it helps it keep its shine. That's sort of become part of the point of this thread I think, which is to use the formal items you are given.

</div>

transatlanticisms · November 2012

Given that my future in-laws are already having aneurysms about the price of the (mid-range, not actually expensive) casual china we wanted, I'm not even going to touch the formal kind. My parents didn't buy any until in their 40s (I was maybe 10), and even then it was a semi-formal set that they've used every day since. So I absolutely don't think it's a necessity.

In a dream world I'd get Villeroy & Boch's Amazonia for its gorgeous colors and lack of gratuitous frills, but it'll be when we can afford it on our own, not for the wedding.

China, silver and fancy stuff.

Re: China, silver and fancy stuff.

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