Ohio-Cincinnati

Stressed Out (Long Post)

So a few things are bothering me right now and I have to get them off my chest.
I have 5 bridesmaids and I love them all dearly. Well I told them I just want them to wear black dresses to the wedding, because I wanted them to each pick something they are comfortable in. So the wedding is in 3 months and nobody has a dress yet. When should I start to worry about this??
I have gained weight and my dress wont zip all the way so I am trying super hard to work out but the weight is just not coming off like I had hoped. So I am super stressed about that.
I am still looking for an affordable place near downtown to have our rehearsal dinner for 30 people (on a budget)
I was planning on DIY my own centerpieces but a lot of people are telling me it is going to be too hard and to not do it and just pay for someone else to do it but we are on a budget and I just dont think we can afford to have a florist do our flowers.
And the real icing on the cake is that my mom is not being there for me at all. She is very jealous of my FI family and is taking it out on me. My mom is retired and does not have much money so I offered to buy her MOB dress for the wedding and she got all offended and said that I thought she was going to embarrass me. The only reason I offered is because I know she does not have money for it and she NEVER dresses up so I thought it would be nice to bond with her. My mom has complained about everything I am doing for the wedding from my dress to my bridesmaid gifts. I am so upset but really want her to be a part of my big day. My older brother says that she told him that she is not coming and he thinks I should not push the issue and if she doesnt come that it will be her loss... Just had to get this off my chest ...

Re: Stressed Out (Long Post)

  • ninjette04ninjette04 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-cincinnati_stressed-out-long-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:108Discussion:8569bb02-bb6d-4957-b1c2-e3cb4c0e3e07Post:5a42cd56-af39-4966-b6d2-91c8e642a8bc">Stressed Out (Long Post)</a>:
    [QUOTE]So a few things are bothering me right now and I have to get them off my chest. I have 5 bridesmaids and I love them all dearly. Well I told them I just want them to wear black dresses to the wedding, because I wanted them to each pick something they are comfortable in. So the wedding is in 3 months and nobody has a dress yet. When should I start to worry about this?? <strong>I have gained weight and my dress wont zip all the way so I am trying super hard to work out but the weight is just not coming off like I had hoped.</strong> So I am super stressed about that. I am still looking for an affordable place near downtown to have our rehearsal dinner for 30 people (on a budget) I was planning on DIY my own centerpieces but a lot of people are telling me it is going to be too hard and to not do it and just pay for someone else to do it but we are on a budget and I just dont think we can afford to have a florist do our flowers. And the real icing on the cake is that my mom is not being there for me at all. She is very jealous of my FI family and is taking it out on me. My mom is retired and does not have much money so I offered to buy her MOB dress for the wedding and she got all offended and said that I thought she was going to embarrass me. The only reason I offered is because I know she does not have money for it and she NEVER dresses up so I thought it would be nice to bond with her. My mom has complained about everything I am doing for the wedding from my dress to my bridesmaid gifts. I am so upset but really want her to be a part of my big day. My older brother says that she told him that she is not coming and he thinks I should not push the issue and if she doesnt come that it will be her loss... Just had to get this off my chest ...
    Posted by afloggie[/QUOTE]

    Girl I'm with you there... I tried mine on last night and I gained even more since I bought the dress and I have been working out MASS!! All I can say is, I'm sorry for your stress, but just keep up working out and eating right.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
    ~*Married my best friend on October 2, 2010*~ BabyFetus Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    :(
    I'm so sorry.
    I love Cosmo's weight loss.  And Target has a DVD of pilates - I lost a lot of weight doing that in high school and I'm using it again now and it's helping.  I got mine in a 2 pack a few weeks back at Target.
    As for your mom - that's tough.  It's weird when the FI's family has more money and is offering to pay for more.  I've kind of got in that, but my mom seems to handle it a bit better, plus it's not as extreme with me.  It's rough - people get offended by a lot and obviously you want your mom there but your brother's right - you can't do much about it.  You're not in the wrong.
    And yeah, I might freak about the BMs.  I'd be like...dresses, now....let's go!  
    the wedded pups - large
    jason + katherine - wedded 6.18.2011
  • edited December 2011
    Aww, I feel so bad for you!  I, too, have a mother that is very jealous of my FI's family.  I fear that she will act the same way as we get closer to the wedding.

    As for your bridesmaids, I would pick a day coming up soon and ask that they all come along for a fun outing at the mall to pick dresses.  They'll be forced to at least try on dresses and you can be apart of the process.

    For the centerpieces, I think it's possible to DIY as long as you have some help!  There's no way you'll have time to do it the the day before or morning of the wedding - you'll have so much other stuff to be thinking about.  Have you considered something other than flowers?

    And for the rehearsal dinner - just do something casual!  I've heard a lot of people recommend Dewey's pizza because they have a party room at one of their locations.
  • edited December 2011

    So the wedding is in 3 months and nobody has a dress yet. When should I start to worry about this??
    You don't worry about it.  Send them an email asking for them to have their dresses by a certain date so you know they will fit.  Make it a month out.  I'm sure that they've been looking, but just haven't gotten around to buying.  Worst case scenario, I bought mine at Penneys for under $50 each, PIB.

    I have gained weight and my dress wont zip all the way so I am trying super hard to work out but the weight is just not coming off like I had hoped.
    Keep working out.  If it isn't coming off, see if your seamstress could make a corset back.  You're not the first bride this has happened to.  I went to a wedding once where the bride missed the rehearsal because her dress didn't fit.  Talk about last minute alterations.

    I am still looking for an affordable place near downtown to have our rehearsal dinner for 30 people (on a budget)
    What do you consider budget?  I did Deweys.  Yes, people had to drive, but it was still great. 

    I was planning on DIY my own centerpieces but a lot of people are telling me it is going to be too hard and to not do it and just pay for someone else to do it but we are on a budget and I just dont think we can afford to have a florist do our flowers

    My centerpieces were $25/each (including vase rental) and were awesome.  They say people don't remember, but they do.  I will never forget the goldfish centerpieces that ended up being swallowed by drunk guests.  Yuck.  It's not the biggest thing ever, but you don't want to be worrying about fresh flower arrangements right before the wedding.  There are enough details to remember.   What are your colors? Is there anything but fresh flowers that will work?


    As for your mom, well, sometimes even moms suck.  She shouldn't be making this harder on you.  I wonder if she just wants to be able to give you the world but she can't.   Just let this pass.  We were in the same boat, and I asked my mom to do things rather than buy things.  That way she was involved, but it wasn't so much of a financial burden.  Could she help you put together some centerpieces?  Or work on favors? 

    You have every reason to be stressed, but don't let it get the best of you.  There is a solution to every problem, and if we can, we'll help you find it.  GL!



     

  • afloggieafloggie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone!! 
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