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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

My wedding was NOTHING I dreamed of!

When women look back on their wedding day they get a felling of euphoria! When I look back on my wedding day I feel everything but. I am very disappointed. Before the ceremony my now husbands brother yelled at my sister over a misunderstanding. The ceremony was beautiful! I have no problem with that only that in every picture his brother looks like he is at a funeral. (yeah he's a JERK!) Anyway on comes the reception. His brother, his wife and child and his Mother didn't show up (which broke my husbands heart) A lot of people where there so it was very tight. and the biggest problem My DJ was late and then when he did show he did not bring a cord to connect my iPod or any song I told him to bring. So we didn't get a first dance or I didn't get to dance with my father. He was unprepared and keep going outside. He also keep putting on very loud hip-hop music, that swore and said the N word multiple times. I continued to tell him to change it but he never listened. So my husband and I sat in the bridal room for awhile because we had headaches. I left my iPod and my sisters iPhone on the DJ table because someone gave him a cord he did not know how to plug in. So on top of all that he stole my iPod and my sisters phone! I hate the feeling I get when i think back on my wedding. So we are thinking of doing a re-reception on our 1 year ann. What do you ladies think?

Thank you for reading sorry it was so long!

P.s. on the bright side the honeymoon was WONDERFUL!!!!

Re: My wedding was NOTHING I dreamed of!

  • edited August 2010
    OMG. I am so sorry. That has to be a terrible feeling... but in the end, you got to marry the one you love right? Yay love! Ugh, I can't fathom feeling so negatively looking back on my wedding. *hugs*

    And by all means, have a huge bash on your anniversary. It will be a great way to re-frame your mind about your wedding. You could even make it formal and hire a photographer and make it party of your wedding album! :)
  • Ditto pp. I am so sorry those things happened on your wedding day. I would definitely go somewhere nice for your first anniversary and hire a photographer.

    Are you doing a TTD shoot? Maybe that will help you get some more pics in your dress. But like the pp said, you are married and that is the most important thing. I am glad you enjoyed your HM.
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  • Wow, that is a horrible feeling. I am sorry that you had to go throught this. Hey, at least your honeymoon was amazing! Maybe you should throw a big re-do on your anniversary if you can afford it.
  • Aww, I'm sorry that you such bad experiences at your wedding!

    I second MissySue's suggestion of doing a TTD session. Perhaps that would help you to make more positive memories in your dress, and allow you to get great photos. :)
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  • I hope you reported the stolen iPod and phone.  That is just wrong, unprofessional, criminal even.  I'm sorry to hear of all these unfortunate moments, but take comfort in the love between you and your husband, in the memories of your great honeymoon, and in the hope of a more positive experience/party/reception if you end up celebrating your anniversary with family and friends.
    (6 years married but back on theknot because I'll soon be MOH and weddings are on the brain)
  • I would definitely have a bash on anniversary, making sure I did plenty of research and read reviews on the dj and vendors  beforehand.

    Good luck
  • i'm so sorry that you do not have the greatest memories of your wedding.  sounds as though a bunch of things did not go well.  yet, you did mention that your honeymoon was wonderful!  focus on that!  i hope that your marriage is going strong!  in the end, that is the important outcome from the wedding.
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  • Can you file a police report on the missing I phone etc?  Honestly, i would take him to civil court and demand a refund of my money plus the stolen phones.  Then make sure you post horrible reviews on every single wedding site that exists so he never ever djs a wedding again.

    I'm so sorry all of this happened to you.  Maybe to heal, you could write about all the special things you liked about your ceremony, your wedding night (after the party) and the honeymoon and journal about what made those things special.  Try to think back on those things. I don't know if you could wear the dress again but an anniversary party might be fun.  You could keep it less formal and put fun twists on it that you might not get away with at a wedding.   
  • I am so sorry to hear about all the mishaps you had on what was supposed to be an amazing and wonderful day. This is not how you want to remember your wedding day.  I can understand how you are upset I hope you do get to do a anniversary party and it all works out as planned. 

  • edited August 2010

    That sounds HORRIBLE
    Wow you put up with alot. I mean I wouldn't get mad at tiny itsy bitsy things but your DJ completely came unprepared and LATE. Honestly I wouldn't have waited for him, I would've called someone else and sued the DJ who was late for the money we put down to reserve his services. Then he stole your ipod and your sisters phone? Wow it just sounds really bad. But you said that your honeymoon was great? That's a huge plus.
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you had a contract with the dj that said he would provide specific services and he didn't, then you have the right to your money back.  Do you have any friends or family who are lawyers?  They can probably help.
  • Horrible!  I would definetely file charges on the DJ.  Just call the local PD and make sure you can give them an accurate value.  In most places, theft of at least $500 (which is what it sounds like) is a class A misdemeanor so it's pretty serious.  Hope it gets better...and just remember -- it's the marriage that counts, not the wedding!  And have fun planning your anniversary party!
  • Sorry to hear.  And let me tell you I kinda feel the same way. But, mine was not as bad as yours.

    I am extremely organized and had the material totally SCRIPTED so if anything fell of course I was immediately and extremely bummed.

    The DJ received FIVE e-mails from me about timing and music.  Of course he f-ed up our ceremony music.  It was so bad people thought I was standing up the groom!  I was ssssooo pissed!.  I don't think he played ANY music during cocktail hour as planned.  And I told him if THERE ARE LESS THAN THREE PEOPLE dancing - change the song.  But, NO. Many of my guests asked him to play different music - he refused.

    My husband REFUSED to practice or take lessons during our first dance.  He refused to let me lead so I could guide him.  We looked like a-holes just standing there and it looked so painful the DJ ended the song early.  My husband is bitching because he didn't hear the part of the song HE was prepared to break out his dance moves on.  If I discuss that crap with him one more time I am going to jail.  I feel like my video is going to be ruined by his refusal to understand the importance of working with me.

    My minister didn't tell the guests to be seated.  People were standing during our 20 minute ceremony in 90+ degree heat! My husband looked so sweaty, I was hating him during the ceremony.  I am shocked I am smiling in the pictures.

    My mother was bitching about every freaking thing. It was too hot.  She didn't like her seat, she wanted us to close the windows/doors because of her hair.  She couldn't get comfortable.  I just wanted her to leave after an hour.

    My event coordinator, provided by the venue,  did not pay attention to details that I expected her to do like open my dress as I went down the aisle, notice when we were cutting the cake to give us plates, etc. I TIPPED this woman!  

    Ok, I'm sorry, I lost it and whenever I think about it I lose it a little.

    Like you we are planning a do over for our first anniversary.  We actually want to do it at the same place.  Just cocktails and dancing - that's it.

    Good luck to you and your do over.  From one bruised bride to another you gotta do it just to feel better and move on!
  • Yall have me scared!! LOL.. I am so sorry all these things happened to yall.. They always say youll laugh about this later.. I hope that you have a wonderful life together and i hope your 1 yr party is a BASH!!!!!! and you get all you wanted the first time around

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-nothing-dreamed-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:b4c20ab6-c2b1-45f5-b025-b7ba227e57aaPost:489237ef-58f7-4566-85f7-b16987af7ff9">Re: My wedding was NOTHING I dreamed of!</a>:
    [QUOTE] My event coordinator, provided by the venue,  did not pay attention to details that I expected her to do like open my dress as I went down the aisle, notice when we were cutting the cake to give us plates, etc. I TIPPED this woman!  Posted by prusgirl[/QUOTE]

    Did you and the coordinator have a specific discussion regarding these things? I work for an event venue, and our Catering Manager is there to make sure the rooms is set, ceremony is set, and the food is prepared and ready to go. She is very clear with our brides that if they expect extras, they need to hire a DOC. I know it depends on the venue, but you have to have the conversation. They might not have realized these were things you were expecting of them.

    Also, tipping was your choice, if you tipped her before, you should have waited until after the event, and made your decision then on whether or not to give her something extra.
  • I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but woah prusgirl.  You hated your husband because he sweated in 90 deg heat?

    There is a lot of anger in that post for someone who got married over a month ago...

  • We discussed it, actually she told me that's one of her duties.  Not to mention, I am VERY THOROUGH, I missed nothing.  Hence, why I was so freaking pissed.

    The venue was very pricey and one of the things you pay for is EXCEPTIONAL service.

    And she was tipped early on.  Mainly because I felt like the day would get away from both of us and I didn't want to miss her.
  • Hated, strong word.  Very, very annoyed.  He looked like he had a run 20 miles.  I was in shock looking at him.

    I asked him why didn't you take the freaking hanky and dab yourself during the vows?

    As a result, the photographer concentrated the photos on me and my hope was pictures of US during the ceremony.  I toweled him off and the rest of the pictures look decent.
  • I am so sorry that the day you have dreamed of since you were a little girl turned out that bad. I am just starting to plan my wedding, and reading this makes me more on my toes for just the right venders to shop with.

    I would have the biggest anniversary party ever !! You can never go back to that day, but you can make sure that the rest of your life with your new husband is all that you have dreamed of.

    Good luck.
    You know you are truly blessed when you find that one who completes you,makes you totally happy, and feels your pain from the other room. The one you feel lost without, the one that makes you laugh, the one that makes you cry. The one that makes you wonder how you can be so lucky. Congratulations to everyone who has found "the one."
  • I am so sorry you had some unfortunate events at your wedding. I look back at our wedding with a feeling of mild disappointment as well, so I know how you feel.

    My advice is just to focus on your marriage and try to not replay the disappointment of the day over and over. It's what I'm trying to do!
  • I totally understand and sympathize. 
    My wedding was right up there with one of the worst days of my life. Most of the "bad" stuff that happened(such as th groom being an hour late and therefore missing all our posed photos) people didn't know about. In fact everyone says they loved the wedding. I however wish I could go back in time and elope in Vegas.

    We did go on a great honeymoon and are planning some big things for the holidays. We have no anniversary things planned because I honestly want to forget the day ever existed. Having a big to-do to remember a day that was a big flop doesn't make sense to me.

    Sorry you had a similar fate, but now you and your husband have a lifetime to make wonderful memories together.
  • lrowe, I am soo sorry you feel that way about the day.  Is there any way you could do a second photo shoot to get the photos you missed?  It might make you feel a little better.  Do you want to tell us what happened or just forget about it?

    Sometimes you can get over the disappointment by having your close friends or relatives write down all the things they loved about the wedding and reading through those each day.  You could try to remember how much you love being married to your new husband and think about how happy you are that you got that chance even if the ceremony wasn't how you wanted. Also, you could read other people's wedding horror stories and that might make you feel better.  I've heard some really really horrible ones.  You could remember a day that was actually really horrible like when someone died and compared to your wedding day, I'm sure your wedding day wasn't the worst day of your life.  
  • I'm so sorry this happen to you but know there are others out there who feel the same! I loved the ceremony, but at our reception I wanted to leave 5 minutes I after I arrived. Like you, our honeymoon was wonderful. The re-reception sounds like a good idea for you.
  • So sorry this happened to you. One word of caution though. You can't have a re-reception. You are already married so you can't really get a do over. You can throw an awesome anniversary party but it should not look like a wedding reception ie no first dance, cake cutting, bouquet toss, etc.
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