Registry and Gift Forum

Registry Confusion

I have a question about registries and etiquette behind them.

Probably 75% of our guest are from out of town and out of those about 50% from out of state.  My FI is from New Mexico and a lot of our invites that the folks are not coming (but the invite is more of a gesture to include them) or from his old church etc and a LOT of these folks will not be able to come but he said they would more than likely want to know where we are registered.

So with that said, how do you inform people of where you are registered if it is obvious they won't be coming to Texas for the couple of showers we are having? 

A friend of mine suggested putting a small business card sized white card in the invitation with our wedding website link as well as (for the older ones who don't have internet) the two places we are registered. 

I don't want ot come across as it looking like we are asking for gifts and it be tacky to include in the wedding invitation but given the distance of more than half of our guests, they won't be attending showers and I am totally baffled on how to let people know.

Re: Registry Confusion

  • Definitely do not put registry information in your wedding invitations (either on the invitations or on an insert).  

    Your shower host can put registry information on shower invitations, or you can put it on your website.  Guests can also ask your family members or wedding party, look up your names at popular stores, or just Google your names to get the info.
  • It is never ok to put registry info in your wedding invitation.  That's really rude.

    If any of these guests are invited to the shower, and your shower host includes the registry info, they may get it that way, but seeing as how these don't seem to be your close friends and relatives, it doesn't sound like these would be on the shower guest list anyway.

    The truth is, if they want to know, they will find out.  They can google it, ask around, check with the most common registry stores, or if all else fails, just mail a check.  The point is that it's not ok for you to bring up gifts to you.  If people want to get you a gift, wait for them to bring it up.  
  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2012
    It's fine to put a simple link to your registry on your wedding website ("John and Mary and regsitered at Target and BB&B"), and to put the URL on an instert with your invitations.    Your older guests who might not look at the website will probably ask your parents if/where you are regisered, and your parents can tell them the answer.   Or if YOU are asked, you can tell them where you are registered.   

    Also, for most big chains, find a registry is as simple as a google search.  No need to put registry info in an invitations.
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  • Ooo, under no circumstances should you put registry info in the invite itself.  You will be judged like crazy by the recipients (especially the older ones). 

    Like the others said, create a wedding website, and refer to it with an insert in your invite.  My insert said "For more information concerning our wedding, please visit our website: ...."

    For the elderly guests without internet, they will rely on the old-fashioned word-of-mouth method by calling your parents, or talking with you directly.  It would be really sweet of you to pre-emptively call them to ask if they have any questions, and to chat with them about the engagement.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-confusion-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ce673831-3a29-42f9-bd0e-cfcafae0ba9ePost:49957062-e19b-4d16-97a0-00e2545a8bfd">Registry Confusion</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a question about registries and etiquette behind them. Probably 75% of our guest are from out of town and out of those about 50% from out of state.  My FI is from New Mexico and a lot of our invites that the folks are not coming (but the invite is more of a gesture to include them) or from his old church etc and a LOT of these folks will not be able to come but he said they would more than likely want to know where we are registered. So with that said, how do you inform people of where you are registered if it is obvious they won't be coming to Texas for the couple of showers we are having?  A friend of mine suggested <strong>putting a small business card sized white card in the invitation with our wedding website link as well as (for the older ones who don't have internet) the two places we are registered.</strong>  I don't want ot come across as it looking like we are asking for gifts and it be tacky to include in the wedding invitation but given the distance of more than half of our guests, they won't be attending showers and I am totally baffled on how to let people know.
    Posted by rdavidson827[/QUOTE]

    It is a-okay to include a card with website info in the invitations.  It is never okay to include registry info with invitations.  If someone wants to know where you are registered they will ask.
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  • Great.  Thank you guys.  I was about to pull my hair out because it sounded tacky to do it and I've been told different things.

    I do like the idea of still putting the card in there with just our wedding website link.  Because we do have the registries link on there.  Laughing
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-confusion-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ce673831-3a29-42f9-bd0e-cfcafae0ba9ePost:49957062-e19b-4d16-97a0-00e2545a8bfd">Registry Confusion</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a question about registries and etiquette behind them. Probably 75% of our guest are from out of town and out of those about 50% from out of state.  My FI is from New Mexico and a lot of our invites that the folks are not coming (but the invite is more of a gesture to include them) or from his old church etc and a LOT of these folks will not be able to come but he said they would more than likely want to know where we are registered. So with that said, how do you inform people of where you are registered if it is obvious they won't be coming to Texas for the couple of showers we are having?  A friend of mine suggested putting a small business card sized white card in the invitation with our wedding website link as well as (for the older ones who don't have internet) the two places we are registered.  I don't want ot come across as it looking like we are asking for gifts and it be tacky to include in the wedding invitation but given the distance of more than half of our guests, they won't be attending showers and I am totally baffled on how to let people know.
    Posted by rdavidson827[/QUOTE]

    <div>Nothing should be included in the wedding invitations. Make sure your mom, his mom, and the wedding party know where you're registered because if people don't want to ask you but do want to ask, they'll probably ask one of them. Those who want to find out will either figure it out through word of mouth or send you a check.</div><div>
    </div><div>A wedding website with a tab for "registry" is an option, too.</div><div>
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  • I made a little insert card that had the wedding website (that has cute pics of us and where we are registered), where to stay, and a map of the venue.
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  • If people want to know, they will find out.  We don't have a wedding website and we definitely did not put anything in the invitations about registries.  We have received many gifts of our registries, but so far only five or so people have asked us where we were registered.  I assume that people Googled, looked up our names at popular stores, or asked our parents.
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