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Shower Invites

christamarie713christamarie713
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
We are having a very small, intimate wedding, just family.  Can we invite people who aren't invited to the wedding to the shower.  The bride still wants to hang with them and celebrate with them, or does that seem to be bad manners? 
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Re: Shower Invites

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Only invite people who are invited to the wedding to pre-wedding parties.


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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Bad manners.  As pp stated, only those invited to the wedding should be invited to the pre-wedding parties. 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    That would be very rude. It's like saying the friends are good enough to bring a gift to the shower, but not good enough to be invited to the main event.

                       
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  • christamarie713christamarie713
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So should we just skip the shower all together then?  Her whole family is from out of town.
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  • lbarr088lbarr088
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    How "out of town" is out of town?  My cousin invited many people from multiple states and it worked out OK.  If it's not far is it something you could do at a half way point if you would really like her to have one?
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  • christamarie713christamarie713
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The closest is 13 hours away.
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  • christamarie713christamarie713
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are in Arkansas and her family is in Main, Indiana (northern), California and Virginia, while his family is in Michigan, Wisconson, Flordia, & South America.
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  • lbarr088lbarr088
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yikes, ok that is a bit of a stretch.  Put it this way, the shower is something that you do for the bride, not something that should be expected.  At this point it might not be doable.  If she wants to hang out with those who aren't invited, maybe you can just have a girls night to "hang out."  IF you do that, do not incorporate anything wedding related because that would be rude.
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  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Some people say that work and church showers are the exception to the rule about only those invited to wedding should be invited to showers, but the idea still makes me uncomfy. 

    My grandma hinted to me that some ladies at my church wanted to throw me a shower, but I asked her to please politely decline. I would feel very weird about that. We'd love to invite them but it'd be 30 extra people. 
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    yeah unfortuantely that's a side effect of a small wedding.  It's really not appropriate to invite anyone to a pre-wedding party that won't be getting an invite to the wedding.  It hurts feelings and makes people feel used (especially if they're invited to a shower, which is a gift giving event).

    Have a girls night, don't talk about the wedding

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